"I have been wearing only a styled blanket for months. I was only really wearing it for the modesty of others."
After all, he didn't really have anything to cover anymore. He also didn't particularly feel cold but it probably wouldn't feel very nice for K to cuddle with cold metal.
"Yes, I think that I will wear clothes right now."
Viktor changed into a soft oversized shirt and flannel pajama pants. It was passing strange to see himself in proper clothes again, but he crawled into bed first curling up against the pillows. Then when K came close enough Viktor was pawing at him until he was able to wrap his arm over K's waist and lay his head against K's shoulder. Once they were settled Viktor let out a sigh of relief.
"I know that it's probably not as nice to cuddle with metal but thank you for this."
K also makes a contented sound once they get settled in together. Much better.
"I could say the same. I'm only warm to the touch because I'm consciously using my magic to heat my synthetic skin." Otherwise he would be quite ice-cold to the touch, as he normally is by default. "And I only have skin because humans preferred me this way."
And it shouldn't be difficult to guess why. Human preferences and their comfort were always paramount when it came to androids like him. While he's talking, one of his hands finds its way beneath the hem of Viktor's shirt and above the waistband of his pants, where he begins lightly tracing his fingers along Viktor's new skin. Through their bond, there's nothing but feelings of love and acceptance for good measure. He wants Viktor no matter how he looks or feels; Viktor's perceived flaws only exist within his own mind.
"I'm grateful to have you in any form," K says in a softer tone before falling quiet for a moment, in thought. Then: "How would you prefer to look?"
Viktor head moved a little bit against K's shoulder as he looked up at K.
"Really? So you were consciously making your skin warm to the touch for my sake?"
That makes Viktor think a little bit in silence, then;
"What other parts of yourself do you change to try to be more like a human?"
You could probably say that the only thing that is still coming from Viktor's side of the bond is the same bruised love that has been there from the moment he showed K what had happened with his magic. It might be smothering if K was not returning the feeling, although certainly with less emotional damage than Viktor was radiating. K's comment about being grateful to have Viktor in any form was not replied to but it's something that helped his heart feel a little bit warmer. Well. If he had a heart anyway. The sneaky hand that was coming into direct contact with the metal of his body did have purple light following the fingers.
"I don't know if I would want to look anyway in particular. I would like to still look human I think."
"I'm not trying to be like a human. I'd rather be exactly what I am." A monumental achievement represented by such a simple statement. It's taken him years to overcome the shame human society taught him to feel and reach this point of taking pride in his identity as an android. Viktor himself has contributed significantly to K being happy in his own synthetic skin. He may still have some insecurities to contend with, but even those don't feel so insurmountable these days.
"But I think it's more pleasant for you if I'm warm when you touch me," he explains, "and that's something I'd like to encourage more of. I chose to sleep when you used to for similar reasons."
He hadn't wanted Viktor to feel that helping him get restful sleep was in any way an inconvenience — because it wasn't — and K remaining awake while Viktor slept would have undoubtedly given him that impression. These have always been accommodations made of K's own accord.
"With all the magic here, there should be something to help you look the way you'd prefer to. I know glamours make it possible to achieve any kind of look, at least superficially." Speaking of 'looks'. He's smiling as he adds, "And I'd like seeing you in the clothes I picked out for you. I'd also like seeing you out of them."
Viktor may not be capable of much in the way of facial expression but there was a feeling of disgust in the bond briefly.
"No not glamour. That would just be a lie to cover up the truth. I meant to say that if this had never happened to me, I would still like to look human."
With K lying on his back with Viktor cuddled up to his side, K's fingers had found their way beneath the clothes on Viktor's back. It felt like K's touch had been magnified so those fingers were being very distracting at the moment.
"This would be the first time that I've actually tried wearing clothes for months. And to be honest I wanted letting me hold you to be as least uncomfortable for you as possible since I knew that cuddling with cold metal would probably be difficult."
Viktor has always had his own issues with the physical body but now it was a problem of practicality. He had thought that K would be warm to the touch and thus put off by cold metal. He certainly didn't seem to be though. In fact, he was trying to be flirtatious, but Viktor was just hurting too much to flirt back. Instead, he nuzzled into the crook of K's neck where it met his shoulder. His face alone had any level of body heat to it even though it was minimal.
"It still feels like your fingers are touching my soul directly. Like you are touching a part of me that no one else has. I want to know how to touch you like that too. Tell me what you like?"
The disgust is met with a feeling of sorrowful regret on K's end. He should've known better than to suggest it, even if all he wants is to help Viktor feel more comfortable. If it's possible. It may be something that only Viktor can figure out for himself... and K's wary of causing further upset, so for the time being he lets the matter rest.
"I appreciate the consideration, but I don't think you need to worry so much about my comfort," he replies. "Do what makes you most comfortable. Wear clothes if you want to, or don't. Either's okay. And remember that I'm not human." Things humans would find uncomfortable might not even affect him. It's meant to be reassuring, even if the state of Viktor's own humanity is a thorny topic.
"You can touch my soul without even touching me," he says with a small smile as he continues running his fingers along Viktor's changed skin. There's no particular intent behind his touch; simply touching for its own sake, without expectations. Hopefully it can do Viktor some good and help him acclimate to physical interaction.
The feeling was brief. But it's nice that being able to hold K was filtering out emotion unless it had to do with K. There was no need to feel sorrow or regret but Viktor was in no fit state to reassure K about it. Viktor was lying boneless against K's side, now, still nuzzled close to K's neck and taking respite where he could find it.
"It is not just about consideration. I want to know everything about you. You know how a human body would like to be touched. But my body is not like a human anymore."
For Example; Viktor's spine had golden rivets set in the same places that there would be vertebrae on a human body. Except for the area just below where his shoulder blades would be, he now had a permanent corset limned in gold. He had always been on the slender side but now instead of his waist tapering into his hips, his abdomen was smooth below the bellybutton. The joints for his hip bones however had a sort of bizarre ridge to them with the hinge for the joint itself separate from those outer ridges.
Where once he had a constellation of moles on his naked alabaster skin, he now had bits of gold running into long but uniform lines that were asymmetric on each side of his legs and arms. Even his touch would be a little bit different in that it was lit with magic that was coming into contact with whatever it was that he was touching. He hadn't touched anything that would also be able to feel that magic but it would feel like a very low-level tingle.
"You can't mark me with your teeth anymore but I might still be able to mark you. Would you like something like that?"
After considering the proposal for several moments, K ventures a cautious, "Maybe...? Would you like that?"
The uncertainty doesn't stem from disinterest so much as his mind being elsewhere, still perpetually circling back to those chilling words: what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor? K's worried about him, not about acting out fantasies that he suspects have more to do with unmet emotional needs than physical desire, anyway.
"But you also don't need to worry about those silly fantasies. Just having you here is enough."
Viktor still had that fear, but the fact that he had enough self-awareness that could actually be afraid of something like that did say a lot about how factual that fear really was. Without it being fueled by the anomaly under the Hex Gates, the Hex Core did not have the kind of control over Viktor's mind that it did. Being able to touch his bonded Familiar was helping him cope with that fear if only because that fear seemed to lose strength the longer that he was able to touch K.
"Would I want to mark you as my own, you mean?"
There was a little rill of excitement in the bond. But as with every emotion that did not have to do with K personally, it was short-lived.
"Only if you want me to. I will admit that it would be nice though."
Short lived though it is, the feeling of excitement certainly catches K's attention and draws a smile from him. It seems it's something they could both enjoy, then. And it's rather nice, hearing Viktor refer to him as being his own...
"I don't bruise easily, you might have to get creative." He assumes that would be preferable to outright injuring him in order to leave a mark, and since Viktor's made it clear he won't use his magic on him, K won't suggest it. It also has him considering ways he could still mark Viktor without actually hurting him (and K allows himself a moment or two of missing Viktor's prior body), and he recalls, "I did give you a ring, before..."
Before Viktor vanished back to his home universe. With how long it's been for him, K figures a reminder about the gift wouldn't go amiss. He's been thinking on the other things Viktor said, too.
"How would you like to be touched now?" he wonders. Does Viktor even know, himself? K thought their earlier exploration had gone very well when it was happening, as well as what they're currently doing, but it couldn't to ask while they both have clearer heads.
Truthfully Viktor had not remembered the ring until K said something about it. After he was reminded he intended to wear the ring at all times now. If nothing else it would be a consistent reminder of his own humanity.
"I did like that ring. It might be a good idea if you made a second one for you to wear too. That would neatly solve the problem of leaving a mark on each other's skin."
Despite having a metal body Viktor did still have a sense of touch. It was muted though and there was a sensory deprivation between what touched him in the outside world and what he felt.
"But I don't know how I would like to be touched now. There aren't very many people that I would want to touch or be touched by in the first place."
Viktor wants him to get a matching ring for himself... there's no hiding how much the thought thrills him. He's careful not to read too much into the suggestion, knowing marriage likely means different things to them; notably, he doesn't think polyamory would be compatible with the kind of relationship he'd prefer to share with a spouse. But matching rings would still be a very meaningful gesture, symbolic of the bond they share and belonging to each other in that way.
"I'd like that." As though it wasn't already obvious. "And we can figure it out together. I think touching you has gone well so far?" To emphasise his question, his fingers dip just below the waistband of Viktor's pants to trace over his altered hip.
Marriage does mean something different to Viktor, namely that only people in Piltover do that and a lot of times the richest people would only do it as a kind of political alliance. In Zaun, things were a lot more informal and people would only live together instead of getting married. It was more common that people would only cohabitate with one other person but at times it would be a very tight-knit group of people that would decide to live with each other.
The idea behind Polyamory is that everyone in the group cares about each other which is why it didn't bother Viktor that Jayce loved so many people. Viktor only cared that there be a place in Jayce's heart for Viktor, and it didn't matter to him who else was there too. But K has learned that it is neither easy nor fast to get to a point where Viktor does care about you, and even more difficult to get to the point where Viktor does love someone, whether they love other people too or it's just one person. To put it bluntly, without Jayce the possibility of Polyamory was most likely off the table.
But for some reason, the idea of matching rings made K very happy. Viktor didn't quite understand why that would be the case but it was nice to please K? This was also about the same time that K's sneaky fingers brushed gently over Viktor's altered hip. Now that he certainly felt and couldn't help an indrawn breath and a shiver.
"You keep finding new ways to touch me. It really doesn't seem fair that you haven't taught me how you like to be touched too."
The only thing better might be Viktor giving him the ring himself, but either way, K's genuinely happy he wants them to have matching rings in the first place. Though perhaps he's attributing more significance to the suggestion than Viktor intended it to have, if he's confused about how such a meaningful (in K's mind) gesture could bring K happiness.
His curious exploration has already paid off judging by Viktor's reaction, and that also incites a little thrill of excitement in K that can be felt through their bond. He'd been entirely serious when he said that what he likes is the way Viktor touches him... and now he has to think on his reply, because he isn't sure he can offer a better answer than that.
"I guess I'm not sure how I like to be touched, either. It hasn't come up before. Not before you asked." Or at least no one to his knowledge has expressed interest in learning his specific preferences the way Viktor has. Maybe people incorrectly assume human biology or physiology can apply to him and that there's no reason to ask, or maybe they haven't wanted to overstep perceived boundaries, or in one case he doesn't want to think too hard about, maybe they hadn't minded one-sided intimacy. There could be any number of reasons.
"But maybe we could figure that out together, too."
It initially confused Viktor because he thought of them as married (as K would think of it) already. K had asked him to live in his apartment, and he had not asked Viktor to move out nor did Viktor leave on his own, which probably would have constituted a divorce as K understood it. A glimmer of Viktor's old humor was able to peek through as he smiled against K's neck.
"Well, the only thing that I have to go off of is what would feel nice for a human. You will have to show me a different way for you."
Having said that, Viktor reached out to take one of K's hands and pull it back to his chest by the wrist. Once K's hand was resting against his chest, Viktor let go of his wrist and pushed his hand underneath so that K's hand was sandwiching Viktor's between his hand and his chest.
Touch-starved as K is, it doesn't take much to make him feel good. Simply being close together like they are right now does wonders; there's a steady thrum of contentment on K's end of the bond, essentially the emotional equivalent of a cat purring. And now with the possibilities that interfacing with each other brings, especially in combination with the effects of their bond, their imaginations are the limit.
"I'll enjoy learning with you." He squeezes Viktor's hand beneath his and there's a smile in his voice. "Thank you for caring this much." Reconnecting like this has been good, he thinks, and he hopes that no matter what the coming weeks may bring, they can keep holding onto each other.
"Along with matching rings, there's also things like henna," he suggests, still thinking about ways they could mark each other since it's something they both seem to like. "Ink used to draw on skin. For yours, a metallic ink would look good..." And he certainly isn't opposed to receiving love bites, as Viktor suggested, regardless of whether they leave lasting marks.
It's entirely out of affection that Viktor is cuddled tightly against K's side. The mirrored affection on both sides allows him to filter Viktor's other emotions, for which Viktor is endlessly grateful. As such, there isn't much in the bond right now beyond affection.
The soft kind of warmth that would usually be in addition to another stronger kind of emotion. But Viktor wasn't kidding about feeling overwhelmed. The warm feeling of affection was so strong, it was bordering on adoration. Viktor himself may have a fear of being still merged with the hex core, but since it cannot fake human emotion, this would be a direct denial of it still having influence over Viktor's mind. Viktor's metal thumb is feathered back and forth underneath K's hand right now.
"For caring this much? Hasn't anyone asked to learn how you like to be touched before? And as I understand it, henna is a temporary mark at best, so I am not sure that it would be what we're looking for in this instance."
"It hasn't come up before," K repeats, a little more solemnly this time. "You're the first to ask. Even if you weren't... thank you for caring enough to." The truth is, he doesn't have much experience with physical intimacy, period, and only some of it had been positive. He'd been left to assume his past partners had probably just preferred intimacy with their other partners over him. Understandably, in his mind, because who would ever choose an android if they had other, better options?
The shared affection radiating through their bond makes it easier not to dwell on past hurts. That Viktor is able to feel this way about him to begin with is very heartening, for a variety of reasons. The most significant one being that this feels like further proof that Viktor's mind is his own.
"Bruises are also only temporary. You want something permanent?" he asks, surprise plain in his voice. Matching rings are a more suitable choice in that case. This particular subject is likely to lead to pleasant daydreams in the future as well... at least until he's right back to worrying about Viktor.
"Matching rings are permanent enough. You don't know what kind of touch you would like, do you?"
If he was the first to ever ask about it, K may not have thought of this before. It certainly would explain a few things, including why K always seemed to focus on touching Viktor whenever they had been intimate. Right now Viktor leaned in and kissed K gently but with an edge of passion. Lifting his hand while keeping K's over it, he first laid it against K's neck.
"Before, when my body was different, you talked about marking my neck or my hip, so let's start there."
K's body was humanoid enough that maybe things like lightly stroking the skin of his back might also feel nice. Or just cupping his cheek. Viktor very much doubted that K was ticklish but he planned to touch him lightly all over and see if a particular area seemed to feel better than another.
Edited (added a sentence, sorry) 2025-03-06 21:39 (UTC)
With so much weighing heavily on K's mind and heart he has trouble shifting gears as easily, though he does gratefully return the kiss, enjoying the feeling of closeness it brings.
Even on a good day focussing on his own pleasure wouldn't be easy for him, with his primary concern being that his limitations will disappoint Viktor and make him feel as though his efforts are wasted on K; he was intended to facilitate others' pleasure, not experience it himself... Everything combined still presents a mental hurdle for him.
"You don't have to," he says softly. "Today has been..." It's difficult to even put it into words. He sighs in lieu of finishing the sentence. "And the last week. The last year, for you. You're allowed to rest. Just let me hold you for a while."
For a moment Viktor looked away, though he kept his hand on K's neck. He was speaking just as softly as K had been.
"For a little while I want to stop thinking about everything that's happened in this past year. I want to focus on something else. Something nice."
Now when Viktor looked back at K there was a level of pleading in his iridescent eyes.
"I know that I don't have to. I want to. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but I would want to explore you just to find out what feels nice. It could be something as simple as just rubbing your back, or running fingers through your hair. It doesn't matter, I just want to feel closer to you."
Though he thinks there may be better ways of distracting Viktor, he doesn't want to give the impression that he doesn't appreciate Viktor wanting to do something nice for him, or doesn't want Viktor touching him, since neither could be further from the truth.
"I've only experienced either as a cat," he says with a slight smile. And he always enjoys it, so there's no reason to think he won't also enjoy it in his android form. He keeps his clothes on for the time being and adjusts his position so he's lying more on his side, giving Viktor better access to do as he wants.
Viktor only took a moment to scoot closer, so he pressed chest to chest with K and he was still speaking very softly.
"I just need to keep touching you. But...but it would be nice if you wanted to touch me too?"
He stayed gentle as he moved the one hand up to run his fingers through K's hair, slowly from the crown of his head down to the nape of his neck. Viktor had to loop his arm under K's to be able to touch his back as well. He was a little slower with that since there was a longer sweep of his hand from just under his shoulders to the small of his back.
"I've only got what would feel nice to a human as a frame of reference. What are your suggestions for what would feel nice to you?"
Initially K remains still, the better to concentrate on the sensations of being touched and how it makes him feel. It's so rare that he lets himself be the center of attention like this that he can't actually recall it happening before now, at least not in his android form. Gradually he arches into Viktor's touch, not so unlike how he does as a cat, clearly enjoying it, and also obliges the request by reaching up to run his fingers through Viktor's hair in turn. One of the only parts of him left unaltered by the hexcore.
"This feels good," he murmurs as he then trails his fingertips along the curve of Viktor's cheek.
There's the unique sensation of expanding awareness as their minds connect on a technological level again, initiated by K. Not with the intention of transferring any data this time, but — just to feel the connection, and take comfort in it. A level of connection not possible among humans.
This, too.
Even if it can't fully distract him from the sense of gnawing dread, it does help take the edge off it. At least Viktor is safe in his arms for the time being.
Actually, Viktor's hair has been affected. On the back of his skull, that's become a mix of metal and magic, his hair now grows out white. But that's only at the bottom, and the rest of his hair is the same brown color it's always been. The sensation of K's fingertips touching his face is surreal since no one has done that before except maybe Jayce. It's more intimate than he thought it would be.
I've never communicated this way before. But if it feels nice for you, then I want to learn.
Letting his hand drift aimlessly, he circled underneath K's shoulder blade onto his bare shoulder. Since he has been altered, he has only touched other people with the tips of his fingers. So when his palm makes contact with K's bare skin, he can feel the current of energy running down K's arm. There is an echo of his own palm touching K's arm on his arm as he does it. Slowly and carefully, his palm follows that feeling of energy until it stops at the edge of K's tank top.
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After all, he didn't really have anything to cover anymore. He also didn't particularly feel cold but it probably wouldn't feel very nice for K to cuddle with cold metal.
"Yes, I think that I will wear clothes right now."
Viktor changed into a soft oversized shirt and flannel pajama pants. It was passing strange to see himself in proper clothes again, but he crawled into bed first curling up against the pillows. Then when K came close enough Viktor was pawing at him until he was able to wrap his arm over K's waist and lay his head against K's shoulder. Once they were settled Viktor let out a sigh of relief.
"I know that it's probably not as nice to cuddle with metal but thank you for this."
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"I could say the same. I'm only warm to the touch because I'm consciously using my magic to heat my synthetic skin." Otherwise he would be quite ice-cold to the touch, as he normally is by default. "And I only have skin because humans preferred me this way."
And it shouldn't be difficult to guess why. Human preferences and their comfort were always paramount when it came to androids like him. While he's talking, one of his hands finds its way beneath the hem of Viktor's shirt and above the waistband of his pants, where he begins lightly tracing his fingers along Viktor's new skin. Through their bond, there's nothing but feelings of love and acceptance for good measure. He wants Viktor no matter how he looks or feels; Viktor's perceived flaws only exist within his own mind.
"I'm grateful to have you in any form," K says in a softer tone before falling quiet for a moment, in thought. Then: "How would you prefer to look?"
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"Really? So you were consciously making your skin warm to the touch for my sake?"
That makes Viktor think a little bit in silence, then;
"What other parts of yourself do you change to try to be more like a human?"
You could probably say that the only thing that is still coming from Viktor's side of the bond is the same bruised love that has been there from the moment he showed K what had happened with his magic. It might be smothering if K was not returning the feeling, although certainly with less emotional damage than Viktor was radiating. K's comment about being grateful to have Viktor in any form was not replied to but it's something that helped his heart feel a little bit warmer. Well. If he had a heart anyway. The sneaky hand that was coming into direct contact with the metal of his body did have purple light following the fingers.
"I don't know if I would want to look anyway in particular. I would like to still look human I think."
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"But I think it's more pleasant for you if I'm warm when you touch me," he explains, "and that's something I'd like to encourage more of. I chose to sleep when you used to for similar reasons."
He hadn't wanted Viktor to feel that helping him get restful sleep was in any way an inconvenience — because it wasn't — and K remaining awake while Viktor slept would have undoubtedly given him that impression. These have always been accommodations made of K's own accord.
"With all the magic here, there should be something to help you look the way you'd prefer to. I know glamours make it possible to achieve any kind of look, at least superficially." Speaking of 'looks'. He's smiling as he adds, "And I'd like seeing you in the clothes I picked out for you. I'd also like seeing you out of them."
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"No not glamour. That would just be a lie to cover up the truth. I meant to say that if this had never happened to me, I would still like to look human."
With K lying on his back with Viktor cuddled up to his side, K's fingers had found their way beneath the clothes on Viktor's back. It felt like K's touch had been magnified so those fingers were being very distracting at the moment.
"This would be the first time that I've actually tried wearing clothes for months. And to be honest I wanted letting me hold you to be as least uncomfortable for you as possible since I knew that cuddling with cold metal would probably be difficult."
Viktor has always had his own issues with the physical body but now it was a problem of practicality. He had thought that K would be warm to the touch and thus put off by cold metal. He certainly didn't seem to be though. In fact, he was trying to be flirtatious, but Viktor was just hurting too much to flirt back. Instead, he nuzzled into the crook of K's neck where it met his shoulder. His face alone had any level of body heat to it even though it was minimal.
"It still feels like your fingers are touching my soul directly. Like you are touching a part of me that no one else has. I want to know how to touch you like that too. Tell me what you like?"
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"I appreciate the consideration, but I don't think you need to worry so much about my comfort," he replies. "Do what makes you most comfortable. Wear clothes if you want to, or don't. Either's okay. And remember that I'm not human." Things humans would find uncomfortable might not even affect him. It's meant to be reassuring, even if the state of Viktor's own humanity is a thorny topic.
"You can touch my soul without even touching me," he says with a small smile as he continues running his fingers along Viktor's changed skin. There's no particular intent behind his touch; simply touching for its own sake, without expectations. Hopefully it can do Viktor some good and help him acclimate to physical interaction.
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"It is not just about consideration. I want to know everything about you. You know how a human body would like to be touched. But my body is not like a human anymore."
For Example; Viktor's spine had golden rivets set in the same places that there would be vertebrae on a human body. Except for the area just below where his shoulder blades would be, he now had a permanent corset limned in gold. He had always been on the slender side but now instead of his waist tapering into his hips, his abdomen was smooth below the bellybutton. The joints for his hip bones however had a sort of bizarre ridge to them with the hinge for the joint itself separate from those outer ridges.
Where once he had a constellation of moles on his naked alabaster skin, he now had bits of gold running into long but uniform lines that were asymmetric on each side of his legs and arms. Even his touch would be a little bit different in that it was lit with magic that was coming into contact with whatever it was that he was touching. He hadn't touched anything that would also be able to feel that magic but it would feel like a very low-level tingle.
"You can't mark me with your teeth anymore but I might still be able to mark you. Would you like something like that?"
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The uncertainty doesn't stem from disinterest so much as his mind being elsewhere, still perpetually circling back to those chilling words: what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor? K's worried about him, not about acting out fantasies that he suspects have more to do with unmet emotional needs than physical desire, anyway.
"But you also don't need to worry about those silly fantasies. Just having you here is enough."
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"Would I want to mark you as my own, you mean?"
There was a little rill of excitement in the bond. But as with every emotion that did not have to do with K personally, it was short-lived.
"Only if you want me to. I will admit that it would be nice though."
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"I don't bruise easily, you might have to get creative." He assumes that would be preferable to outright injuring him in order to leave a mark, and since Viktor's made it clear he won't use his magic on him, K won't suggest it. It also has him considering ways he could still mark Viktor without actually hurting him (and K allows himself a moment or two of missing Viktor's prior body), and he recalls, "I did give you a ring, before..."
Before Viktor vanished back to his home universe. With how long it's been for him, K figures a reminder about the gift wouldn't go amiss. He's been thinking on the other things Viktor said, too.
"How would you like to be touched now?" he wonders. Does Viktor even know, himself? K thought their earlier exploration had gone very well when it was happening, as well as what they're currently doing, but it couldn't to ask while they both have clearer heads.
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"I did like that ring. It might be a good idea if you made a second one for you to wear too. That would neatly solve the problem of leaving a mark on each other's skin."
Despite having a metal body Viktor did still have a sense of touch. It was muted though and there was a sensory deprivation between what touched him in the outside world and what he felt.
"But I don't know how I would like to be touched now. There aren't very many people that I would want to touch or be touched by in the first place."
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"I'd like that." As though it wasn't already obvious. "And we can figure it out together. I think touching you has gone well so far?" To emphasise his question, his fingers dip just below the waistband of Viktor's pants to trace over his altered hip.
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The idea behind Polyamory is that everyone in the group cares about each other which is why it didn't bother Viktor that Jayce loved so many people. Viktor only cared that there be a place in Jayce's heart for Viktor, and it didn't matter to him who else was there too. But K has learned that it is neither easy nor fast to get to a point where Viktor does care about you, and even more difficult to get to the point where Viktor does love someone, whether they love other people too or it's just one person. To put it bluntly, without Jayce the possibility of Polyamory was most likely off the table.
But for some reason, the idea of matching rings made K very happy. Viktor didn't quite understand why that would be the case but it was nice to please K? This was also about the same time that K's sneaky fingers brushed gently over Viktor's altered hip. Now that he certainly felt and couldn't help an indrawn breath and a shiver.
"You keep finding new ways to touch me. It really doesn't seem fair that you haven't taught me how you like to be touched too."
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His curious exploration has already paid off judging by Viktor's reaction, and that also incites a little thrill of excitement in K that can be felt through their bond. He'd been entirely serious when he said that what he likes is the way Viktor touches him... and now he has to think on his reply, because he isn't sure he can offer a better answer than that.
"I guess I'm not sure how I like to be touched, either. It hasn't come up before. Not before you asked." Or at least no one to his knowledge has expressed interest in learning his specific preferences the way Viktor has. Maybe people incorrectly assume human biology or physiology can apply to him and that there's no reason to ask, or maybe they haven't wanted to overstep perceived boundaries, or in one case he doesn't want to think too hard about, maybe they hadn't minded one-sided intimacy. There could be any number of reasons.
"But maybe we could figure that out together, too."
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"Well, the only thing that I have to go off of is what would feel nice for a human. You will have to show me a different way for you."
Having said that, Viktor reached out to take one of K's hands and pull it back to his chest by the wrist. Once K's hand was resting against his chest, Viktor let go of his wrist and pushed his hand underneath so that K's hand was sandwiching Viktor's between his hand and his chest.
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"I'll enjoy learning with you." He squeezes Viktor's hand beneath his and there's a smile in his voice. "Thank you for caring this much." Reconnecting like this has been good, he thinks, and he hopes that no matter what the coming weeks may bring, they can keep holding onto each other.
"Along with matching rings, there's also things like henna," he suggests, still thinking about ways they could mark each other since it's something they both seem to like. "Ink used to draw on skin. For yours, a metallic ink would look good..." And he certainly isn't opposed to receiving love bites, as Viktor suggested, regardless of whether they leave lasting marks.
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The soft kind of warmth that would usually be in addition to another stronger kind of emotion. But Viktor wasn't kidding about feeling overwhelmed. The warm feeling of affection was so strong, it was bordering on adoration. Viktor himself may have a fear of being still merged with the hex core, but since it cannot fake human emotion, this would be a direct denial of it still having influence over Viktor's mind. Viktor's metal thumb is feathered back and forth underneath K's hand right now.
"For caring this much? Hasn't anyone asked to learn how you like to be touched before? And as I understand it, henna is a temporary mark at best, so I am not sure that it would be what we're looking for in this instance."
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The shared affection radiating through their bond makes it easier not to dwell on past hurts. That Viktor is able to feel this way about him to begin with is very heartening, for a variety of reasons. The most significant one being that this feels like further proof that Viktor's mind is his own.
"Bruises are also only temporary. You want something permanent?" he asks, surprise plain in his voice. Matching rings are a more suitable choice in that case. This particular subject is likely to lead to pleasant daydreams in the future as well... at least until he's right back to worrying about Viktor.
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If he was the first to ever ask about it, K may not have thought of this before. It certainly would explain a few things, including why K always seemed to focus on touching Viktor whenever they had been intimate. Right now Viktor leaned in and kissed K gently but with an edge of passion. Lifting his hand while keeping K's over it, he first laid it against K's neck.
"Before, when my body was different, you talked about marking my neck or my hip, so let's start there."
K's body was humanoid enough that maybe things like lightly stroking the skin of his back might also feel nice. Or just cupping his cheek. Viktor very much doubted that K was ticklish but he planned to touch him lightly all over and see if a particular area seemed to feel better than another.
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Even on a good day focussing on his own pleasure wouldn't be easy for him, with his primary concern being that his limitations will disappoint Viktor and make him feel as though his efforts are wasted on K; he was intended to facilitate others' pleasure, not experience it himself... Everything combined still presents a mental hurdle for him.
"You don't have to," he says softly. "Today has been..." It's difficult to even put it into words. He sighs in lieu of finishing the sentence. "And the last week. The last year, for you. You're allowed to rest. Just let me hold you for a while."
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"For a little while I want to stop thinking about everything that's happened in this past year. I want to focus on something else. Something nice."
Now when Viktor looked back at K there was a level of pleading in his iridescent eyes.
"I know that I don't have to. I want to. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but I would want to explore you just to find out what feels nice. It could be something as simple as just rubbing your back, or running fingers through your hair. It doesn't matter, I just want to feel closer to you."
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"I've only experienced either as a cat," he says with a slight smile. And he always enjoys it, so there's no reason to think he won't also enjoy it in his android form. He keeps his clothes on for the time being and adjusts his position so he's lying more on his side, giving Viktor better access to do as he wants.
"Can I do anything for you?"
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"I just need to keep touching you. But...but it would be nice if you wanted to touch me too?"
He stayed gentle as he moved the one hand up to run his fingers through K's hair, slowly from the crown of his head down to the nape of his neck. Viktor had to loop his arm under K's to be able to touch his back as well. He was a little slower with that since there was a longer sweep of his hand from just under his shoulders to the small of his back.
"I've only got what would feel nice to a human as a frame of reference. What are your suggestions for what would feel nice to you?"
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"This feels good," he murmurs as he then trails his fingertips along the curve of Viktor's cheek.
There's the unique sensation of expanding awareness as their minds connect on a technological level again, initiated by K. Not with the intention of transferring any data this time, but — just to feel the connection, and take comfort in it. A level of connection not possible among humans.
This, too.
Even if it can't fully distract him from the sense of gnawing dread, it does help take the edge off it. At least Viktor is safe in his arms for the time being.
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I've never communicated this way before. But if it feels nice for you, then I want to learn.
Letting his hand drift aimlessly, he circled underneath K's shoulder blade onto his bare shoulder. Since he has been altered, he has only touched other people with the tips of his fingers. So when his palm makes contact with K's bare skin, he can feel the current of energy running down K's arm. There is an echo of his own palm touching K's arm on his arm as he does it. Slowly and carefully, his palm follows that feeling of energy until it stops at the edge of K's tank top.
"Could you take your shirt off, please?"
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