Your apartment. Not 'our'. Combined with Viktor wishing he were strong enough to end their bond, the initial shock of it feels like ice water being thrown in his face. It's hard to quell the feeling of rejection it causes even with Viktor in his arms like this. He came back to Folkmore, but maybe he hasn't come back to K.
"Of course it's all right. You live there too." Finally releasing Viktor, K turns away for a moment under the pretense of taking in their surroundings to orient himself, and uses that opportunity to discreetly swipe at his stinging eyes and compose himself. "If you still want to," he adds before reaching for Viktor's hand again, so they can start making their way out of the swamp.
"I don't deserve to have any kind of home. I shouldn't say it's my place too."
Viktor still thought he didn't deserve K either but he was still holding on to K's hand in one of his and the second hand clinging to K's wrist. Knowing where they are going, Viktor's magic still keeps K weightless and is creating shimmering places everywhere that Viktor's feet touch the ground because otherwise, he would sink into Exile's muddy swamp too. Small and unassuming Adele was waiting until they had started to leave. But she is aware of Viktor's distress though she was hoping that by staying back and letting K talk to Viktor first, it would help. Now she flies down from the branch she was sitting on to land on Viktor's shoulder. She cuddles up close to his neck and rubs her tiny cheek against his like a cat in an effort to comfort him.
His magic remains until they get to Epiphany. K is able to walk now if he wants to, but Viktor is still clinging to his hand and wrist. Even once they were inside the apartment, Viktor was still clinging. Even when K takes his coat off Viktor is standing right there while he does it and then once again clinging to one of his hands. He follows after wherever it is that K leads.
"It hurts that you feel that way. Like you don't want to share a home with me anymore."
Even if he can understand the reasoning. They have a long journey ahead of them to undo the damage of the last year for Viktor, K can already tell. If it even can be undone.
He sheds the dirtiest of his clothes near the door to be seen to later — boots, socks, coat, and after a few moments' consideration, his pants as well, since they're caked in mud up to thigh level due to how much he'd struggled in the swamp. Less to clean up later if he's not tracking mud through the whole apartment. He lets Viktor cling; it makes it easier to take care of him. He also pets Adele, grateful for her presence. Hopefully she can help Viktor, too.
Leading him to one of the bathrooms, K starts a shower running before he gets a closer look at Viktor's attire. Viktor's own memories will serve as his guide for helping him remove the makeshift robe without damaging anything. But after reaching to start undoing the bindings around Viktor's waist, he pauses.
"Would you like me to help you?" he asks. "I'll use the other bathroom if you prefer privacy." With the drastic changes to Viktor's body, K isn't assuming he's going to be comfortable with all of the same things as before. Best to ask first. Everything feels uncertain and strange right now and it makes him nervous. Is Viktor intending to move out as well?
Viktor has a little bit of a frown, but there is still a disconnect between what emotions he feels plus how strongly he feels them, and what shows on his face.
"No please stay. I don't want you to feel hurt, so for your sake, I will say that I live here too."
His robe is actually a blanket that K will have seen in his memories as the same blanket that Jayce had laid across Viktor's shoulders. Viktor hadn't thought he would ever see Jayce again so he kept the blanket as the last reminder he had of Jayce. It had been styled along with the straps at his waist by Huck in the commune.
All of his body had become that mix of metal and magic. One very noticeable difference in how his body looks is the bizarre ridges on his hips and a noticeable lack of any genitalia whatsoever. What had been a hard corset to create an artificial spine for him had become a permanent part of his body, and now, it looked like he had a permanent corset tipped in gold. The only part of his body that was actually warm to the touch was his face. The rest of his body was a cold type of metal. It meant that the mud on his bare feet was just as cold as the metal it was stuck to.
Adele had her tail curled around the back of Viktor's neck, though she didn't need it to hold on, she was staying cuddled up against his neck even as K led him into the shower. Adele actually liked swimming and otherwise being in the water, so she wouldn't mind taking a shower too.
With a nod of acknowledgement K helps undress him, making sure that neither his eyes nor his hands linger on any one area for too long lest it make Viktor uncomfortable. Having experienced Viktor's memories of everything lessens the shock of seeing his altered body now in person, though he is curious how it functions compared to before. Adele seems to be staying for bathtime, so he lets her be and gestures for Viktor to step into the shower first, then he sheds his remaining clothing and joins them.
The shower is spacious enough that not even two people and a diminutive dragon in it at the same time makes it feel crowded. The hot water does most of the work of rinsing away whatever swamp muck is left on them, but K still opts to lather up with soap and thoroughly scrub himself clean, wishing his worries could be washed away as easily as the mud.
It's automatic, the way he turns with the intention of washing Viktor's back for him, but before his hands can make contact he pauses to ask, "Is it okay if I touch you?"
Viktor had taken a few minutes to use soap and water on his legs and feet so he wouldn't keep tracking mud around the apartment. But since his body was mostly made of metal there wasn't a need to use soap and water on all of it. Viktor still did though. Call it a holdover from being human.
Adele glided down to the floor and spread her wings in the shower spray like a bird, flapped them a bit, then held them up again as she got both of her sides under her wings wet. She shook water off of her head like a dog would and when Viktor's hair was rinsed he flew back up to sit on his shoulder, but this time facing K.
"Yes, it's all right if you touch me."
When K's hands make contact with Viktor's bare back, there's a sharp intake of breath from him and purple light that glows in the crevices and gaps of Viktor's new body wherever K's fingers touch.
"It...feels like you have somehow reached inside me and touched my very soul when you touch me."
For better or worse, Viktor is still human to K. He has an entire lifetime of lived experience as a human, and who he is now is still informed by those experiences, in the same way that being an android has informed everything about who K is. That's what matters to him and as far as he's concerned the Void can't take that identity away from Viktor. After all, despite the drastic changes made to his own body from being both a Coldblood and a Familiar, he still considers himself an android.
And as before, K experiences an echo of the sensations as well. It's immeasurably comforting to know that aspect of their bond has remained intact during Viktor's absence from Folkmore. As drained and emotionally raw as K's feeling he can't quite muster the playful curiosity he'd shown before when he'd experimentally pinched Viktor's nipples (which can't happen now anyway, he realises with a little melancholic pang), but he does note with interest that the connection has possibly become even more intense. And there's glowing...
Being mindful of that, K is careful to keep his touch light as he works soap over Viktor's back and begins washing it for him with gentle, massaging motions. Adele is also given a soapy-handed pat to her head.
The truth was that it had felt good and it also added to Viktor's feeling that he didn't deserve a Familiar bond. He was too emotionally traumatized not to feel like anything that made him feel good was something that he didn't deserve right now.
Adele is a little unhappy about the soapy hand that left a soap bubble on her head. She flew down from Viktor's shoulder to put her head in the shower spray. Then she shook it like a dog again and flew up to sit at the top of the shower stall out of reach of anyone but still able to keep Viktor in sight.
Oh, no. There's immediate regret for having caused Adele to move away; he hadn't meant to annoy her. Frowning to himself and feeling sort of almost doubly rejected, K continues in silence. Even once the soap is rinsed off he still makes light massaging motions while gradually working his way down Viktor's back and sides, an excuse to stay in contact with him. He isn't unaware of the guilt, but he likes making Viktor feel good. And he worries it's probably the only way for him to be remotely useful to Viktor at this point.
Actually, that bond that they share would be very useful to Viktor right now. Sorting out how he is supposed to feel is a little bit harder when he feels every emotion as sharply and clearly as he does. The possibility of being able to talk to K about it or even better to be able to have K act as a sort of filter could help Viktor to make sense of them.
Right now the glow is following where K's touch goes and goes dark again when K's fingers move on. Viktor has a shaky exhale, not able to help leaning back just a little bit into K's touch and closing his eyes.
"I don't know if it's a new effect of a Familiar bond or the fact that I can't make myself not love you even though I don't deserve you, but it feels like you are touching my soul."
As Viktor leans a little more toward him, K presses a kiss to his shoulder and in the same careful manner slips his arms around him, hugging him from behind. His metal may not be on the outside, but he's normally cold to the touch as well. The heated shower water has warmed them both up, mirroring a different kind of warmth that's spreading through their bond, while K does his best to put aside his hurt feelings for Viktor's sake. He's sure Viktor has enough already weighing on him without him adding to it.
"And I don't feel good enough for you," he quietly admits, "but it hasn't stopped me from loving you. I think your soul is beautiful."
When K's chest came into contact with Viktor's back, he had a loud lewd moan at the electric feeling thrumming through his entire body. Now the glow remained steady everywhere that K's skin was touching the metal of Viktor's body, but in the bond was the heightened feeling of warm arms coming around his sides in order to hug him. The bond was a mess of guilt and sadness but also the beautiful and silvery joyous thread of how Viktor felt being with K and the laughter that K would surprise out of him. Amidst all of that was the heat of increasing desire. And since all of Viktor's emotions were felt so much sharper and clearer, that desire was felt sharply too.
Viktor turned around in K's arms. Trying to swallow another moan at the amazing feeling of K's chest touching his and not doing very well at it.
"You are a machine that nevertheless imitates a living human perfectly and you are far more humane than many humans I have met. You are already perfect. My soul is a twisted, damaged thing. But if it's something you find beautiful then you can lay claim to it."
Having said that, Viktor did lean forward enough to kiss K.
Edited (fixed a word, sorry) 2025-01-16 06:27 (UTC)
The stark intensity of the echoed sensations, emotions, and especially Viktor's words and the sounds he makes are a startling combination; it's hard for K not to let himself get lost in it all. The building heat of desire is both surprising and relieving because it feels like another sign that, in spite of everything, Viktor is still himself. It provokes a response from K's body as well, one that makes him a little self-conscious because of the changes to Viktor's anatomy, namely what he used to have but now doesn't. But they can still kiss.
And K finally does allow himself to give into the heat of the moment, kissing Viktor back with urgency as his hands find their way to Viktor's hips, his fingers tracing along the ridges and grooves, testing how it feels to grip them now. Viktor has always felt so terribly thin that at times he's worried about inadvertently hurting him, but now the curious combination of magic and metal that comprises his body diminishes some of that concern. And he knows Viktor is far stronger than he looks.
Soon he winds one arm around Viktor again, wanting to keep their bodies pressed together as they are. Even if it makes the physical state of his arousal inescapably obvious. But maybe it will help Viktor to know K still wants all of him regardless of the changes he's undergone. Viktor's words, though... Perfect. He can't wrap his head around being thought of like that. The words also hurt, that Viktor sees himself that way, even as they touch deeply buried desires within K that before this moment, he couldn't have really imagined being allowed to want. Being invited to possess Viktor.
"There isn't a single part of you that I don't find beautiful." He brushes their lips together in a softer kiss now, smiling. "Does that mean I can claim all of you?"
Viktor's hands dropped to cover K's so that K's hands were now sandwiched between Viktor's hands and the metal of his hips. And yes it did help Viktor feel a little less like a monster that K had an undeniable physical response to him despite the radical changes that his body had undergone. Even when it's just one of Viktor's hands sandwiching K's, the other arm loops under K's shoulder and pressed against his back so that they are pressed together so tightly that not even a sheet of paper would have been able to pass between them, Viktor still had a quiet but unhappy whine at the softer kiss. All he could think about was more, harder, faster, now.
"...yes. Yes if you want all of me... Well, I'm already yours anyway. Take all that you want. Just please don't stop touching me."
Viktor moved K's palm underneath his hand. Now the glow that was showing purple light through the cracks and crevices of his entire body was no longer going out as K's fingers moved on but was growing steadily brighter. What had once been concentrated between his legs now felt like it was everywhere that K's skin contacted the metal of his body. Viktor may not have genitalia of any form or fashion but with K, and likely only with K, that effect of having two mirrors pointed at each other magnified the feeling of touch until it felt like his entire body was alive with sensation, like it was coming from everywhere all at once. He leaned forward again to capture K's lips in a far more heated, needy kiss and Viktor couldn't help a little sound in the back of his throat.
K's instinct veers more toward taking his time exploring Viktor's body and their bond and savouring every moment, in part to make up for the last year that Viktor has had to be without him. But he can tell Viktor needs something a bit different from him right now.
Which he obliges through increasingly hungry, demanding kisses and by letting Viktor guide one of his hands where he wants to, and with his other hand he strokes Viktor's back, down to his ass, across his hip and finally to experimentally cup between his legs. A lack of genitalia doesn't necessarily mean a lack of sensation, he thinks, particularly with how Viktor is responding to his touch everywhere else. And the glowing. It's mirrored within K's own body not with light, but with a simmering heat and waves of pleasure that have his cock throbbing almost painfully where it's pressed between their bodies.
Separate from their Familiar bond is the more technological connection that has remained open in a sort of standby mode since they interfaced. K utilises it now to share several deeply treasured moments from his memories of Viktor, providing a window into how K sees him and a reminder of who he still is.
My Vitya. Beautiful. You have always been deserving of my love.
Viktor had leaned up just enough that he was able to slide K's hand over his side and across his ribs until the hand at his chest stopped over where his heart would be on a regular person. He had to squeeze his eyes shut for the moment.
Klimt.
Viktor's body was already arched against K so that he could bring one hand over his chest but still be able to press against K's belly and thighs. If you put a gun to his head he still would not be able to tell if the sensation he felt was coming from the touch over his chest or the gentle touch between his legs. Maybe both. Viktor took a single hard inhale and opened his eyes to look at K. Eyes that were now glowing to match the sustained glow from his body, so Viktor was looking right at K when he wailed and the glow brightened for just a moment, sending that same feeling of love that was so fragile to create but has proved to be stronger than steel when it's tested into the bond so strongly there was no room for anything else.
All of the sensations feel as though they're rapidly building toward something and K continues mapping Viktor's altered body with his hands and mouth, learning him anew. As physically close as they are, he still wishes they could be closer, somehow. And having experienced Viktor's orgasms secondhand before, he's able to recognise what feels, unmistakably, like the approach of one — at the brink, he's surprised to notice even Viktor's eyes are glowing now.
Then as the mirrored, combined, recursive pleasure and feelings of love flooding their bond wash over him, his eyes slip closed and a heady moan resembling Viktor's name escapes him. As impossible as it may be, he thinks he can feel the release within his own body, from the rhythmic contractions of muscle to the way his cock feels as though it's pulsing against Viktor. It might also just be the remembered sensations of shared orgasms in the past, but in that moment the source doesn't really matter, only what they both feel. The love they share.
Afterward he wraps his arms around Viktor once more, his smile hidden against Viktor's neck. Even if they weren't in the shower there wouldn't be any cleanup needed, so there's no reason not to give into his urge to hold Viktor while enjoying the afterglow.
"If I were lucky enough to have several lifetimes with you," he says quietly, sounding a bit breathless, "I'd still want more."
The glow dimmed some but it certainly wasn't gone and Viktor couldn't help a little sound at the heightened feeling of K's arms around him. Viktor's neck which moved like muscle and sinew nevertheless felt like metal to the touch and there was even something that sounded strangely metallic, like the sound of incredibly soft reverb whenever he spoke if you listened closely. The glow was fading from his eyes but still in his pupils as he frowned and then spoke very quietly to the wall behind K as he looked over his shoulder
"... And - Ah - what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor?"
What if he was just the hex core wearing a Viktor mask? This was as close to human as he could change himself to be while the hex core was still able to keep him alive.
Of all possible responses to a declaration of undying love, that is perhaps one of the most unromantic. Which sort of feels like further evidence of this really being Viktor. But so much for the afterglow. K's smile fades along with some of the lingering feelings of pleasure as he leans back to look at him.
"What if my emotions aren't even real, just programming?"
What if neither of them are actually 'themselves', just the result of something else's influence or control? It's something K has struggled with for years now, and he isn't sure he has a good answer yet. But he'd like to offer what reassurances he can to Viktor.
"You still feel like Viktor to me, where it counts. And that you're even able to consider that possibility is an indication of still being yourself, I think. What purpose could the hexcore pretending to love me possibly serve?"
None of this has felt like an act to him, but since Viktor seems to be genuinely concerned about the possibility...
Viktor still frowned in thought but wound his arms around K's neck and laid his head down on K's shoulder.
"If I ever start to not feel like Viktor then I want for you to tell Mel or Hawke. Don't wait, tell them right away."
Viktor's mind has always been steady, and logical, the one tool that he had that he was proud of. But what had very nearly come to pass scared him so badly because it was his logical mind that was making the decisions that it did. Viktor who had always been a staunch pacifist had been responsible for creating a mindless puppet army. Viktor who was a quiet and shy scientist created a hive mind and in so doing killed the differences in the people who were living in the commune. Viktor was afraid of what he could do and that anxiety was probably bleeding into the bond a little. With K he did feel safer, shivering as he cuddled closer and the heightened feeling of their metal and skin again making contact kept the glow still present but not brightening.
"I love you. I don't know if I've ever said it out loud, though. I love you and I'm so afraid that the magic will be able to hurt you through me."
When K views the last while through the lens of Viktor's worries that he isn't really himself... the implications make him feel sick. But still he has to wonder what purpose the hexcore would even have for using him in such a way. As far as he could tell from Viktor's memories, he hadn't seduced any of the people in the commune.
He tries to keep his growing distress and sadness out of their bond and offers feelings of reassurance as he strokes Viktor's damp hair. But he just feels so wholly inadequate now — Viktor doesn't seem to trust him to even be capable of handling things on his own — and again wishes he could help Viktor in any real or lasting way. That it wasn't always other people, such as Baphomet and Jayce and Mel, that are the only ones who can.
Viktor was quiet for a moment but then seemed to grow more determined. The resolve to do something that helps assuage the anxiety bleeding through in the bond. Action always did help with his worries. Viktor leaned back enough to be able to look K in the eye.
"I'm not going to let the magic hurt you. I know that you are capable of some elemental magic, so you should be able to make use of the astral plane with me."
It used to be Sky who would assist him but now she was gone which was a problem because she already knew how to work on that plane of existence. Viktor hoped to use the Android loophole that would help keep K safe from the void magic. But he wanted to go further than that. He honestly wasn't sure how he would pull that off but he had to try.
"We should get out of the shower. I would ask that the blue and red blanket that my robe was made from not be thrown out though."
Jayce had given him the blanket and it was very likely that he would never see Jayce again. The only reason that Viktor did not keep more keepsakes was just the simple fact that he had no frame of reference for keeping anything, much less something special to him.
"I don't think that magic would have any use for something like me?" Keyword being something.
With a final kiss to Viktor's forehead K releases him as requested. Hoping to hide evidence of his brimming tears, he gives his face a hard scrub beneath the running water then shuts off the shower and steps out. He pulls on a bathrobe and offers another to Viktor before bending down to start gathering their dirty clothes from off the floor.
Might as well try to be useful and wash Viktor's robe for him. By hand, he thinks as he carefully examines the material, just to be safe. He knows it has sentimental value. He doesn't want to risk ruining it.
"I'll wash it for you," he says as though it should have been obvious that he'd never just throw it out. "And before I do, can I get you anything?"
After the wild rollercoaster of a reunion that they've had, with the highs of declarations of love and intimacy followed by the abrupt plummet into the current low K finds himself in, trying to keep his hands and mind occupied with more mundane tasks for a while might help.
"If you can possibly do elemental magic all on your own then I think you have proved that magic has a use for someone like you."
Notice that insistence on the correct word. Viktor did take the bathrobe but once he had put it on, K was already gathering the discarded pieces of clothing on the floor. Before he put the dirty blanket over one arm, one of Viktor's hands took one of his and the other hand was clinging to K's wrist.
"Can I... Can I stay with you? Even if you are just going to do laundry."
Much as he wants to find a solution to K being possibly threatened by void magic, he still feels desperately vulnerable. K might end up with a clingy Viktor shadow.
The correction makes K smile. He still has his doubts about something that feeds off life as the Void does having much use for an imitation of life, but Viktor has a point about his magic, which stems from his blood; magic is an intrinsic part of him now, too. Though he wishes Viktor wouldn't add to his worries like this, he appreciates the effort to keep him safe.
"Yes. I'd like for you to feel at home here again... in your own time," he says, feeling the latter's an important addition. No pressure for Viktor to rush his recovery or do anything he may not feel ready for. And if his presence can bring comfort, he's hardly going to turn down having Viktor's company even when doing mundane chores.
K's own clothes are put into the washer, but Viktor's robe is taken to the kitchen sink to wash by hand with a gentle detergent. A chair is also set nearby in case Viktor wants to sit. It occurs to K that he could make a late dinner for them, but he isn't sure whether Viktor can eat now and he wouldn't want to eat alone. A question for later.
"Tell me about the astral plane," he suggests as he works soap into the fabric. "Would I be able to help you there?"
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"Of course it's all right. You live there too." Finally releasing Viktor, K turns away for a moment under the pretense of taking in their surroundings to orient himself, and uses that opportunity to discreetly swipe at his stinging eyes and compose himself. "If you still want to," he adds before reaching for Viktor's hand again, so they can start making their way out of the swamp.
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Viktor still thought he didn't deserve K either but he was still holding on to K's hand in one of his and the second hand clinging to K's wrist. Knowing where they are going, Viktor's magic still keeps K weightless and is creating shimmering places everywhere that Viktor's feet touch the ground because otherwise, he would sink into Exile's muddy swamp too. Small and unassuming Adele was waiting until they had started to leave. But she is aware of Viktor's distress though she was hoping that by staying back and letting K talk to Viktor first, it would help. Now she flies down from the branch she was sitting on to land on Viktor's shoulder. She cuddles up close to his neck and rubs her tiny cheek against his like a cat in an effort to comfort him.
His magic remains until they get to Epiphany. K is able to walk now if he wants to, but Viktor is still clinging to his hand and wrist. Even once they were inside the apartment, Viktor was still clinging. Even when K takes his coat off Viktor is standing right there while he does it and then once again clinging to one of his hands. He follows after wherever it is that K leads.
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Even if he can understand the reasoning. They have a long journey ahead of them to undo the damage of the last year for Viktor, K can already tell. If it even can be undone.
He sheds the dirtiest of his clothes near the door to be seen to later — boots, socks, coat, and after a few moments' consideration, his pants as well, since they're caked in mud up to thigh level due to how much he'd struggled in the swamp. Less to clean up later if he's not tracking mud through the whole apartment. He lets Viktor cling; it makes it easier to take care of him. He also pets Adele, grateful for her presence. Hopefully she can help Viktor, too.
Leading him to one of the bathrooms, K starts a shower running before he gets a closer look at Viktor's attire. Viktor's own memories will serve as his guide for helping him remove the makeshift robe without damaging anything. But after reaching to start undoing the bindings around Viktor's waist, he pauses.
"Would you like me to help you?" he asks. "I'll use the other bathroom if you prefer privacy." With the drastic changes to Viktor's body, K isn't assuming he's going to be comfortable with all of the same things as before. Best to ask first. Everything feels uncertain and strange right now and it makes him nervous. Is Viktor intending to move out as well?
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"No please stay. I don't want you to feel hurt, so for your sake, I will say that I live here too."
His robe is actually a blanket that K will have seen in his memories as the same blanket that Jayce had laid across Viktor's shoulders. Viktor hadn't thought he would ever see Jayce again so he kept the blanket as the last reminder he had of Jayce. It had been styled along with the straps at his waist by Huck in the commune.
All of his body had become that mix of metal and magic. One very noticeable difference in how his body looks is the bizarre ridges on his hips and a noticeable lack of any genitalia whatsoever. What had been a hard corset to create an artificial spine for him had become a permanent part of his body, and now, it looked like he had a permanent corset tipped in gold. The only part of his body that was actually warm to the touch was his face. The rest of his body was a cold type of metal. It meant that the mud on his bare feet was just as cold as the metal it was stuck to.
Adele had her tail curled around the back of Viktor's neck, though she didn't need it to hold on, she was staying cuddled up against his neck even as K led him into the shower. Adele actually liked swimming and otherwise being in the water, so she wouldn't mind taking a shower too.
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The shower is spacious enough that not even two people and a diminutive dragon in it at the same time makes it feel crowded. The hot water does most of the work of rinsing away whatever swamp muck is left on them, but K still opts to lather up with soap and thoroughly scrub himself clean, wishing his worries could be washed away as easily as the mud.
It's automatic, the way he turns with the intention of washing Viktor's back for him, but before his hands can make contact he pauses to ask, "Is it okay if I touch you?"
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Adele glided down to the floor and spread her wings in the shower spray like a bird, flapped them a bit, then held them up again as she got both of her sides under her wings wet. She shook water off of her head like a dog would and when Viktor's hair was rinsed he flew back up to sit on his shoulder, but this time facing K.
"Yes, it's all right if you touch me."
When K's hands make contact with Viktor's bare back, there's a sharp intake of breath from him and purple light that glows in the crevices and gaps of Viktor's new body wherever K's fingers touch.
"It...feels like you have somehow reached inside me and touched my very soul when you touch me."
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And as before, K experiences an echo of the sensations as well. It's immeasurably comforting to know that aspect of their bond has remained intact during Viktor's absence from Folkmore. As drained and emotionally raw as K's feeling he can't quite muster the playful curiosity he'd shown before when he'd experimentally pinched Viktor's nipples (which can't happen now anyway, he realises with a little melancholic pang), but he does note with interest that the connection has possibly become even more intense. And there's glowing...
Being mindful of that, K is careful to keep his touch light as he works soap over Viktor's back and begins washing it for him with gentle, massaging motions. Adele is also given a soapy-handed pat to her head.
"Is it too much?" he wonders.
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The truth was that it had felt good and it also added to Viktor's feeling that he didn't deserve a Familiar bond. He was too emotionally traumatized not to feel like anything that made him feel good was something that he didn't deserve right now.
Adele is a little unhappy about the soapy hand that left a soap bubble on her head. She flew down from Viktor's shoulder to put her head in the shower spray. Then she shook it like a dog again and flew up to sit at the top of the shower stall out of reach of anyone but still able to keep Viktor in sight.
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Right now the glow is following where K's touch goes and goes dark again when K's fingers move on. Viktor has a shaky exhale, not able to help leaning back just a little bit into K's touch and closing his eyes.
"I don't know if it's a new effect of a Familiar bond or the fact that I can't make myself not love you even though I don't deserve you, but it feels like you are touching my soul."
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"And I don't feel good enough for you," he quietly admits, "but it hasn't stopped me from loving you. I think your soul is beautiful."
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Viktor turned around in K's arms. Trying to swallow another moan at the amazing feeling of K's chest touching his and not doing very well at it.
"You are a machine that nevertheless imitates a living human perfectly and you are far more humane than many humans I have met. You are already perfect. My soul is a twisted, damaged thing. But if it's something you find beautiful then you can lay claim to it."
Having said that, Viktor did lean forward enough to kiss K.
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And K finally does allow himself to give into the heat of the moment, kissing Viktor back with urgency as his hands find their way to Viktor's hips, his fingers tracing along the ridges and grooves, testing how it feels to grip them now. Viktor has always felt so terribly thin that at times he's worried about inadvertently hurting him, but now the curious combination of magic and metal that comprises his body diminishes some of that concern. And he knows Viktor is far stronger than he looks.
Soon he winds one arm around Viktor again, wanting to keep their bodies pressed together as they are. Even if it makes the physical state of his arousal inescapably obvious. But maybe it will help Viktor to know K still wants all of him regardless of the changes he's undergone. Viktor's words, though... Perfect. He can't wrap his head around being thought of like that. The words also hurt, that Viktor sees himself that way, even as they touch deeply buried desires within K that before this moment, he couldn't have really imagined being allowed to want. Being invited to possess Viktor.
"There isn't a single part of you that I don't find beautiful." He brushes their lips together in a softer kiss now, smiling. "Does that mean I can claim all of you?"
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"...yes. Yes if you want all of me... Well, I'm already yours anyway. Take all that you want. Just please don't stop touching me."
Viktor moved K's palm underneath his hand. Now the glow that was showing purple light through the cracks and crevices of his entire body was no longer going out as K's fingers moved on but was growing steadily brighter. What had once been concentrated between his legs now felt like it was everywhere that K's skin contacted the metal of his body. Viktor may not have genitalia of any form or fashion but with K, and likely only with K, that effect of having two mirrors pointed at each other magnified the feeling of touch until it felt like his entire body was alive with sensation, like it was coming from everywhere all at once. He leaned forward again to capture K's lips in a far more heated, needy kiss and Viktor couldn't help a little sound in the back of his throat.
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Which he obliges through increasingly hungry, demanding kisses and by letting Viktor guide one of his hands where he wants to, and with his other hand he strokes Viktor's back, down to his ass, across his hip and finally to experimentally cup between his legs. A lack of genitalia doesn't necessarily mean a lack of sensation, he thinks, particularly with how Viktor is responding to his touch everywhere else. And the glowing. It's mirrored within K's own body not with light, but with a simmering heat and waves of pleasure that have his cock throbbing almost painfully where it's pressed between their bodies.
Separate from their Familiar bond is the more technological connection that has remained open in a sort of standby mode since they interfaced. K utilises it now to share several deeply treasured moments from his memories of Viktor, providing a window into how K sees him and a reminder of who he still is.
My Vitya. Beautiful. You have always been deserving of my love.
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Klimt.
Viktor's body was already arched against K so that he could bring one hand over his chest but still be able to press against K's belly and thighs. If you put a gun to his head he still would not be able to tell if the sensation he felt was coming from the touch over his chest or the gentle touch between his legs. Maybe both. Viktor took a single hard inhale and opened his eyes to look at K. Eyes that were now glowing to match the sustained glow from his body, so Viktor was looking right at K when he wailed and the glow brightened for just a moment, sending that same feeling of love that was so fragile to create but has proved to be stronger than steel when it's tested into the bond so strongly there was no room for anything else.
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Then as the mirrored, combined, recursive pleasure and feelings of love flooding their bond wash over him, his eyes slip closed and a heady moan resembling Viktor's name escapes him. As impossible as it may be, he thinks he can feel the release within his own body, from the rhythmic contractions of muscle to the way his cock feels as though it's pulsing against Viktor. It might also just be the remembered sensations of shared orgasms in the past, but in that moment the source doesn't really matter, only what they both feel. The love they share.
Afterward he wraps his arms around Viktor once more, his smile hidden against Viktor's neck. Even if they weren't in the shower there wouldn't be any cleanup needed, so there's no reason not to give into his urge to hold Viktor while enjoying the afterglow.
"If I were lucky enough to have several lifetimes with you," he says quietly, sounding a bit breathless, "I'd still want more."
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"... And - Ah - what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor?"
What if he was just the hex core wearing a Viktor mask? This was as close to human as he could change himself to be while the hex core was still able to keep him alive.
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"What if my emotions aren't even real, just programming?"
What if neither of them are actually 'themselves', just the result of something else's influence or control? It's something K has struggled with for years now, and he isn't sure he has a good answer yet. But he'd like to offer what reassurances he can to Viktor.
"You still feel like Viktor to me, where it counts. And that you're even able to consider that possibility is an indication of still being yourself, I think. What purpose could the hexcore pretending to love me possibly serve?"
None of this has felt like an act to him, but since Viktor seems to be genuinely concerned about the possibility...
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"If I ever start to not feel like Viktor then I want for you to tell Mel or Hawke. Don't wait, tell them right away."
Viktor's mind has always been steady, and logical, the one tool that he had that he was proud of. But what had very nearly come to pass scared him so badly because it was his logical mind that was making the decisions that it did. Viktor who had always been a staunch pacifist had been responsible for creating a mindless puppet army. Viktor who was a quiet and shy scientist created a hive mind and in so doing killed the differences in the people who were living in the commune. Viktor was afraid of what he could do and that anxiety was probably bleeding into the bond a little. With K he did feel safer, shivering as he cuddled closer and the heightened feeling of their metal and skin again making contact kept the glow still present but not brightening.
"I love you. I don't know if I've ever said it out loud, though. I love you and I'm so afraid that the magic will be able to hurt you through me."
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He tries to keep his growing distress and sadness out of their bond and offers feelings of reassurance as he strokes Viktor's damp hair. But he just feels so wholly inadequate now — Viktor doesn't seem to trust him to even be capable of handling things on his own — and again wishes he could help Viktor in any real or lasting way. That it wasn't always other people, such as Baphomet and Jayce and Mel, that are the only ones who can.
"And I love you," he replies softly.
If only it was enough.
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"I'm not going to let the magic hurt you. I know that you are capable of some elemental magic, so you should be able to make use of the astral plane with me."
It used to be Sky who would assist him but now she was gone which was a problem because she already knew how to work on that plane of existence. Viktor hoped to use the Android loophole that would help keep K safe from the void magic. But he wanted to go further than that. He honestly wasn't sure how he would pull that off but he had to try.
"We should get out of the shower. I would ask that the blue and red blanket that my robe was made from not be thrown out though."
Jayce had given him the blanket and it was very likely that he would never see Jayce again. The only reason that Viktor did not keep more keepsakes was just the simple fact that he had no frame of reference for keeping anything, much less something special to him.
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With a final kiss to Viktor's forehead K releases him as requested. Hoping to hide evidence of his brimming tears, he gives his face a hard scrub beneath the running water then shuts off the shower and steps out. He pulls on a bathrobe and offers another to Viktor before bending down to start gathering their dirty clothes from off the floor.
Might as well try to be useful and wash Viktor's robe for him. By hand, he thinks as he carefully examines the material, just to be safe. He knows it has sentimental value. He doesn't want to risk ruining it.
"I'll wash it for you," he says as though it should have been obvious that he'd never just throw it out. "And before I do, can I get you anything?"
After the wild rollercoaster of a reunion that they've had, with the highs of declarations of love and intimacy followed by the abrupt plummet into the current low K finds himself in, trying to keep his hands and mind occupied with more mundane tasks for a while might help.
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Notice that insistence on the correct word. Viktor did take the bathrobe but once he had put it on, K was already gathering the discarded pieces of clothing on the floor. Before he put the dirty blanket over one arm, one of Viktor's hands took one of his and the other hand was clinging to K's wrist.
"Can I... Can I stay with you? Even if you are just going to do laundry."
Much as he wants to find a solution to K being possibly threatened by void magic, he still feels desperately vulnerable. K might end up with a clingy Viktor shadow.
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"Yes. I'd like for you to feel at home here again... in your own time," he says, feeling the latter's an important addition. No pressure for Viktor to rush his recovery or do anything he may not feel ready for. And if his presence can bring comfort, he's hardly going to turn down having Viktor's company even when doing mundane chores.
K's own clothes are put into the washer, but Viktor's robe is taken to the kitchen sink to wash by hand with a gentle detergent. A chair is also set nearby in case Viktor wants to sit. It occurs to K that he could make a late dinner for them, but he isn't sure whether Viktor can eat now and he wouldn't want to eat alone. A question for later.
"Tell me about the astral plane," he suggests as he works soap into the fabric. "Would I be able to help you there?"
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