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Viktor ([personal profile] scienceofthearcane) wrote2022-04-04 07:42 pm

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You have reached Viktor. I'm sorry I can't receive your message right now. But if you leave it for me here, I'll return it as soon as I can.
obeir: (239)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-03 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
The position may make brushing Viktor's hair a little tricky, but that hardly matters when it's meant as a soothing gesture more than anything, something that K hopes will feel good and that doesn't require anything from Viktor. There are going to be many such gestures made in the coming weeks and months. Maybe in lieu of sleeping, he can play more music for Viktor. Go for more walks together once he feels up to it. Stargazing together; K's always enjoyed it. Perhaps a return to nighttime gardening. He wants to give Viktor as much of a sense of 'normalcy' as possible. A solid foundation from which he can find his footing again, emotionally. The calm in the eye of the storm.

"Then stay with me." In Folkmore. In their apartment. In his arms. In every sense. "You feel like home for me, too," he says as he leans his head against Viktor's. "I want to be wherever you are. I would have gone with you, if I could have."

His anxious concern for Viktor has remained steady in their bond since his return. But as some of K's own worries and uncertainties are soothed by their contact and by Viktor's words, that sense of concern has gradually calmed to a point where it more seamlessly blends with the mutual and intermingling feelings of love throughout their bond.
obeir: (088)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-04 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"You seem to forget I'm an accomplished shapeshifter and mage in my own right." No deadlifting semis level strength required when magic is involved. It's heartening to have a glimmer of Viktor's old humour like that, and it has K smiling too. Though it fades into something more wistful at the reminder of something they can no longer do together. He continues brushing Viktor's hair, glad to have something occupying his hands right now.

"I liked imagining you were only mine," he admits. "Is that bad? Just a silly fantasy, anyway." And maybe not a very healthy one, even if it couldn't actually hurt anyone other than himself — there were certainly never any expectations involved. It's hardly the first time he's ever yearned for something impossible; not dying in his home universe whenever the Fox returns him to it is another prime example.
obeir: (014)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-04 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"As a... romantic partner," he clarifies. "But I am very grateful for our bond, and always will be. I'm grateful to have you in my life in any capacity."

He thought it had been clear from context how he'd meant it, and he feels guilty needing to clarify it even though it had only ever been a harmless fantasy. Monogamy feels taboo for an android like him to want; he's come to understand it's another privilege that only real people are allowed. Even in his home universe his AI companion had wanted to involve a third person in their relationship, while he'd wanted a committed partnership... It occurs to him that even having a bond with only him may not be enough, due to his artificial nature and not being as good as a real person would be. And Viktor deserves to have all of his needs met, be they romantic, sexual, or what a Familiar bond is able to provide him with, even if it requires multiple other people.

"Do you feel you need more Familiar bonds?" he wonders.
obeir: (269)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-05 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Now K is also frowning, in confusion. Viktor's reasons for not wanting to be bound to more people make sense — but making that comparison between a Familiar bond and what's shared with a romantic partner is where he's a bit lost. The brushing has stopped but he's still keeping one of his hands occupied with Viktor's hair, idly curling it around his fingers.

"I haven't ever felt strained by our bond, to be clear. But I'm not sure I understand the last part. Do you mean that without our bond, you would only consider me a short-term romantic partner? I don't consider our bond or our romantic relationship to be short-term... or at least I hope I can have them longer. For as long as you'll let me. For as long as you want me."
obeir: (004)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-06 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
Fortunately clear communication resolves it easily enough. The relief K feels eases his frowning expression back into a smile, and he lightly strokes the nape of Viktor's neck with his fingers as he says, "Then we feel the same way, Vitya. A lifelong commitment... You really want that with me?"

Sharing a bond hadn't been suggested lightly or rashly. K had given the decision the consideration warranted by a connection that could very well be lifelong, if both partners wished it to be. And he still feels it was the right choice. Though with or without their bond, he wants to be with Viktor. For as long as Viktor will have him.

This also raises several questions that he's never found clear answers to. Such as whether the experiences, memories, and bonds they create here in Folkmore can persist outside of it — for some residents who have left and returned, they claimed to retain no memory of Folkmore while outside of it, while others did. Experiences have always varied depending on the individual, but why? And what's the purpose of achieving their 'full potential' here if they might not even remember doing so afterward? (He's long suspected something similar to Viktor's conclusions, that they're brought here to be Lore batteries for Thirteen and help keep this world in existence.) More importantly:

"When you were in your home universe, did you still feel our bond?"
obeir: (059)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-07 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
It makes a very grim kind of sense that Viktor wouldn't have been able to tell whether or not their bond was still intact there. From what K could surmise from the shared memories, that universe's Mel and Jayce had been unable to shield Viktor from the blast like they were, and then Jayce had given Viktor's body over to the hexcore to keep him alive...

"I don't want to be alone again either." K brushes their lips together in a gentle kiss, trying to ease that feeling of shame. "I'm hoping our bond is lifelong, no matter where we are," he says, explaining his reason for asking. "Do you know whether you retained your memories of this world?"

Though he's hoping for some evidence that what they share here was able to continue existing even when Viktor was ripped back to his universe of origin, it won't surprise him if the hexcore had robbed Viktor of that as well. If it's at all possible to separate Viktor from the hexcore without killing him... it feels imperative that they find a way.
obeir: (133)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-11 09:07 am (UTC)(link)
"So for you, I might not exist outside of this place," K surmises, unable to hide the heavy feeling of unhappiness that accompanies the realisation. It's a very lonely fate to die alone and unmourned, forgotten by everyone he's ever known. He wishes he could change it. But what Viktor has told him and what he's learnt from others makes him worry he can't, and that ultimately his existence will have meant nothing.

It's far from the first existential crisis he's faced, and luckily he has the experience necessary to compartmentalise it in order to focus on the present. Focus on what Viktor needs from him. Because that, at least, he can do something about. His hand not stroking Viktor's neck slips around his narrow waist again, and he pulls Viktor in tighter against him.

He's heard the rumblings about multiversal travel from some residents. And he's aware of Viktor's own prior interest in the subject, and that's partly what prompts his question.

"Do you want to stay in this world?" The 'with me' is unspoken, but the sentiment can nonetheless be felt through their bond. "Do you think it may be possible to stay together even outside of it?"
obeir: (240)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-14 11:45 am (UTC)(link)
Feeling Viktor lean his full weight against him, K holds him securely in that effortless way his strength affords him. Maybe they could go to bed after all, if only to lie together for a while.

K also has experience with travelling between multiple dimensions and even dream realms, though perhaps not quite in the same way that Viktor eventually would. But just as he'd devoted himself to learning quantum physics in order to help a fellow advanced AI with her maintenance, he's sure intentional multiversal travel is only a matter of learning the specifics. With enough time and patience, nothing is out of reach.

Time... that's always been the problem, hasn't it? There's never enough. At any moment Thirteen could fling them back to where they came from, and there's no guarantee they'll be brought back to Folkmore. And for K, it would be as good as a death sentence. Unless maybe together they can change his fate and continue having a life together.

"We've both done it before, so at least we know it's possible on an individual basis. We need to figure out how to stay together." Whether they remain in this world or travel. "I'd like showing you where I'm from, if it didn't involve so much risk... Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go with me?"
obeir: (284)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-15 01:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Where K's from isn't what anyone would consider nice, either, but for some reason he has a desire to share it with Viktor all the same. Maybe it's a desire to include Viktor in his old life so that Viktor might better understand him, and maybe he also misses the familiarity of the place...

"Agreed on all counts. And let's go to bed then."

Cleaning up after Adele's meal can wait until later. He takes Viktor by the hand and leads him to the bedroom, where he decides to get dressed for bed in flannel sleep pants and a shirt. Even if they won't be sleeping, there's no reason why they shouldn't be comfortable. Turning to look at Viktor, he asks, "Would you like some clothes?"
obeir: (141)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-16 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
K also makes a contented sound once they get settled in together. Much better.

"I could say the same. I'm only warm to the touch because I'm consciously using my magic to heat my synthetic skin." Otherwise he would be quite ice-cold to the touch, as he normally is by default. "And I only have skin because humans preferred me this way."

And it shouldn't be difficult to guess why. Human preferences and their comfort were always paramount when it came to androids like him. While he's talking, one of his hands finds its way beneath the hem of Viktor's shirt and above the waistband of his pants, where he begins lightly tracing his fingers along Viktor's new skin. Through their bond, there's nothing but feelings of love and acceptance for good measure. He wants Viktor no matter how he looks or feels; Viktor's perceived flaws only exist within his own mind.

"I'm grateful to have you in any form," K says in a softer tone before falling quiet for a moment, in thought. Then: "How would you prefer to look?"
obeir: (250)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-17 09:45 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm not trying to be like a human. I'd rather be exactly what I am." A monumental achievement represented by such a simple statement. It's taken him years to overcome the shame human society taught him to feel and reach this point of taking pride in his identity as an android. Viktor himself has contributed significantly to K being happy in his own synthetic skin. He may still have some insecurities to contend with, but even those don't feel so insurmountable these days.

"But I think it's more pleasant for you if I'm warm when you touch me," he explains, "and that's something I'd like to encourage more of. I chose to sleep when you used to for similar reasons."

He hadn't wanted Viktor to feel that helping him get restful sleep was in any way an inconvenience — because it wasn't — and K remaining awake while Viktor slept would have undoubtedly given him that impression. These have always been accommodations made of K's own accord.

"With all the magic here, there should be something to help you look the way you'd prefer to. I know glamours make it possible to achieve any kind of look, at least superficially." Speaking of 'looks'. He's smiling as he adds, "And I'd like seeing you in the clothes I picked out for you. I'd also like seeing you out of them."
obeir: (249)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-22 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
The disgust is met with a feeling of sorrowful regret on K's end. He should've known better than to suggest it, even if all he wants is to help Viktor feel more comfortable. If it's possible. It may be something that only Viktor can figure out for himself... and K's wary of causing further upset, so for the time being he lets the matter rest.

"I appreciate the consideration, but I don't think you need to worry so much about my comfort," he replies. "Do what makes you most comfortable. Wear clothes if you want to, or don't. Either's okay. And remember that I'm not human." Things humans would find uncomfortable might not even affect him. It's meant to be reassuring, even if the state of Viktor's own humanity is a thorny topic.

"You can touch my soul without even touching me," he says with a small smile as he continues running his fingers along Viktor's changed skin. There's no particular intent behind his touch; simply touching for its own sake, without expectations. Hopefully it can do Viktor some good and help him acclimate to physical interaction.
obeir: (125)

[personal profile] obeir 2025-02-23 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
After considering the proposal for several moments, K ventures a cautious, "Maybe...? Would you like that?"

The uncertainty doesn't stem from disinterest so much as his mind being elsewhere, still perpetually circling back to those chilling words: what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor? K's worried about him, not about acting out fantasies that he suspects have more to do with unmet emotional needs than physical desire, anyway.

"But you also don't need to worry about those silly fantasies. Just having you here is enough."

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