[ Delivered to Viktor's home around the 23rd (because K isn't entirely sure of the "correct" time frame for these things, having never celebrated before) are several festively wrapped packages, containing: a small, delicately crafted figurine of a scientist at work handmade by K from recycled electronic parts and meant to represent Viktor, a blank notebook with similarly hand crafted front and back covers, and a kitty scarf (in Abyssinian cat colours).
There's also a signed note from K wishing Viktor a pleasant holiday season. ]
[ It probably shouldn't come as a surprise that Jayce sought out Viktor during the winter holidays. They have a different kind of celebration in Runeterra, but it was still a time for gift exchanging and showing your loved ones your appreciation.
Jayce knocked on the door of the man's home, held a wrapped box with a bow on top in his hands, and waited. They hadn't had an easy year, and he wanted to start anew. And also to make sure that Viktor wasn't going to freeze to death before they find a way to improve his health, hence why Jayce got him a new coat. He couldn't even remember seeing his friend with one and doubted the man even owned a coat. ]
[ It was rare for Viktor to be making use of the tiny house in Talmaria since he is so often at the lab. But occasionally he will prefer the privacy of the tiny house. Not necessarily privacy from Jayce either, but sometimes people dropping by the lab or a certain android always being there wore on Viktor an introvert.
So it's with some surprise that he finds Jayce at the door to the tiny house. Not the least of which is because he had neither brace on nor his crutch. To be fair he wasn't expecting anyone tonight, either. ]
Jayce? What are you doing here?
[ It's not asked in a mean way but as though Viktor was honestly confused. ]
[ Just like it happened back in Piltover, the lab was more like a second home than simply a place to work on their projects. Jayce, on the other hand, saw it coming and included an actual bedroom on the top floor, which he hoped Viktor would use on the nights he decided to stay at the lab. In fact, Jayce had checked the lab first before coming to look for his partner in Talaria. ]
It's the holidays, dummy. [ He said it with a teasing smile, not unkindly. ] I came to bring you a present to celebrate.
[ Jayce lifted the wrapped box and shook it a little in front of his friend to make it even more noticeable. It was a good surprise that Viktor was in his actual home for a change but the surprises didn't end there. Jayce's gaze dropped to the other man's empty hands, then his braceless leg, and his mind supplied that Viktor was standing on his own really well for someone who hadn't been able to do that in over a decade. ]
V? Your leg doesn't hurt? [ The confusion was evident both in Jayce's voice and the look on his face. ]
[ Viktor sighed in resignation, something he has also not been able to do for nearly a decade. This particular conversation was one that had been needing to happen for a while but Viktor was doing better about talking about it since that first time he showed Gemmaline his hand. Viktor stepped back, notably without the limp he had his entire life. ]
"Come inside. I think it's time I showed you something."
Jayce is trying really hard to put two and two together, but he's still coming up empty, so he follows Viktor - a walking Viktor! Without faltering in his steps- inside without question.
"Okay, ehm. I'm going to...leave this here." He places the present on the nearest flat surface so his hands are free. Jayce feels a bit fidgety all of a sudden, concern making his brows draw together.
In the weeks he's been here, he's been studying medicinal plants and all sorts of magic books, trying to find some cure to help Viktor. It would be logical to assume that maybe Viktor has been doing the same now that he has direct access to those same resources. Perhaps that's it.
The irony of it was that while Viktor had only been in Folkmore for a few weeks, had found he actually had his own form of magic, he had pretty much stumbled across the Baba Yaga school, and had a living god essentially create new lungs for him. The downsides were that he could only use that magic in defense of others rather than in defense of himself, the Baba Yaga school was in Exile, and to create functional lungs Baphomet had essentially crumbled Viktor's own lungs to dust. A wet dust that was later coughed onto the ground in Exile. So that essentially meant Viktor no longer had lungs of his own and would die without Baphomet doing regular upkeep.
Right now he does take a fortifying breath and released it through slightly parted lips and raises the black glove in front of himself. Methodically he loosens each finger of the glove then finally removes it entirely. Beneath it is the metallic stone his hand has become. It looks like metal or fractured reflections of everything around him but it moves with the same liquid grace that the skin over his hand had always moved with.
"I...I have been experimenting on myself with the Hex-core. My leg was the first alteration I've made."
This came later. And came with too high of a price. It was still hard to talk about this, harder still to talk about this with Jayce of all people. Because at the time right before he had started down this path they had argued. Viktor was angry. And Viktor had lied by omission.
Edited (bleh fixed some wording) 2023-01-05 02:03 (UTC)
Jayce, unlike Viktor, had a mostly privileged life with few hardships, so it's no surprise that Exile didn't think he fit in and did everything in its power to kick him out. He has only seen Baba Yaga once, and it was because Baphomet led him there himself. Jayce has never managed to find the school on his own, and probably never will.
The tension in Viktor's body is evident, even if he would probably look relatively calm to any observer who hadn't known the man for over a decade. It makes Jayce think about their last conversation overlooking Zaun's outskirts, about how they had forgotten what really mattered, how they had failed to help others. There had been a lot of things left unsaid between them; Jayce, too, had his own secrets that he desperately wanted to tell Viktor but didn't know how. Now is the time to speak some truths. The confusion and surprise on his face at the revelation are impossible to hide. His eyes darted from Viktor's hand to his brown eyes and back down again.
"You exprimen-- But, how? We never designed anything with runes that could cause transmutation. Did the Hex-core do it on its own? Or was it some sort of accidental rune arrangement? Wait, your leg is like that as well? Oh, that's why you can stand without the cane.
His mind is going a mile a minute, and Jayce needs to pause for a moment to put some order to his thoughts and focus on one important thing at a time. Part of him is fascinated, and the other is concerned about what kind of magic could do this.
"Does it hurt?" The question is soft but sincere because that's his main worry. He is processing everything, but he doesn't want to give Viktor the impression that he is freaked out by the change. Or not as freaked out as Jayce is actually feeling.
"Can you still feel everything like you did before? Is it just your hand and leg, or does the purple keep spreading?" Without thinking, Jayce reaches out to touch the hand, then stops himself. A slight frown crosses his features, and the silence stretches between them one more time. He drops his hand. "The Hexcore isn't here. This happened in our world, and you didn't tell me."
'You didn't trust me enough to tell me', is what Jayce meant, and the realization hurt. He looks away from Viktor's face, head bowed, and his gaze lands on the man's leg, but not quickly enough. Viktor still had time to see how his eyes had already shifted to a cyan blue.
Viktor saw that change in color and had by now known what it meant. It meant Jayce was sad. Viktor had been ready for anger, or at least hostility. He hadn't been prepared for sadness. Part of him questioned whether he could just stop now, not explain about Singed and using Shimmer. Viktor held the changed hand out toward Jayce.
"It's alright, you can touch it. And no, it doesn't hurt."
But if he did stop now, it would still be letting that lie stand and he knew that would only be because he had been a coward and not as a salve to Jayce's feelings.
"I told you what my friend said...but that wasn't all he said."
Viktor swallowed hard. Lies fester but the truth, while it may cut deeply, always cut clean. This was the first difficult hurdle.
"He said that 'nature is resistant to change but luckily we have the means to change our nature' and gave me a small vial of Shimmer. I saw the way the Hex-core reacted when my blood was on the desk with it. So...I changed my blood."
Meaning he had not just drunk the Shimmer but injected it straight into his bloodstream.
"I can still feel with the hand, but my fine sense of touch has now become muted since it changed. And it hasn't been changed for very long. But I don't think the purple is spreading."
It was an experiment after all. Viktor didn't really know what side effects might happen.
Jayce had a complicated relationship with anger. He didn't like feeling it, and he tried hard to keep a cool head, but when he let his negative emotions run wild, it usually ended in disaster.He tries to reign in his feelings, but sadness is somehow harder to keep at bay.
He met Viktor's eyes again when the man offered his hand, and reached out to touch it gently, his thumb brushing over the back of the hand and its knuckles, studying the valleys and ridges. He let curiosity and fascination win over worry for a few moments. For some reason, Jayce expected it to feel colder, more metallic, but it did move like Viktor's natural hand.Â
"It feels strong." He pressed the flat of his palm against Viktor's own, Â hands held up against each other, tilting his head to look at them. Viktor's mention of his zaunite's friend got Jace's focus back on him again.
"You also never told me his name." That alone was strange, if not suspicious, but now Jayce knew why. If he had learned back then what Viktor planned to do, Jayce would no doubt have had reservations. At the mention of the drug, something cold and unpleasant settled on Jayce's stomach. Nothing good ever came from Shimmer. "You could have died, Viktor. Suddently. You know what that thing does to people. How the addiction eats them from the inside out. And you used your blood?  If this hadn't worked..."Â
He shifted his fingers so he could entwine them with Viktor's and gave his hand a squeeze, taking in a shaky breath. Viktor's health was bad enough that he probably thought he lost nothing by trying, and Jayce understood that. It didn't mean knowing all this was any less scary or upsetting, and his eyes remained a steady blue.
"At least it's not going to take all over your body," Jayce muttered, then frowned at his own words. "Unless...that's what you wanted? Could this have cured you completely? It seems like it comes at a high cost."
Viktor felt odd about Jayce essentially holding his hand, but did not pull away. The changed skin was still warm to the touch but it also felt solid like stone. At the comment, Viktor actually strengthened his grip just a bit to encourage Jayce to look at him. And when Jayce did, Viktor's expression had gone from tense to haunted.
"Though I didn't realize how high that cost would be until recently or that I wasn't the one that would pay it. Heimerdinger was right. It must be destroyed."
It was ironic in that Viktor had been prepared to risk his own life, but was punished for his own hubris in thinking that it was just his personal risk alone.
"And it wasn't the Hex-core that cured me. That didn't happen until I was in Folkmore."
In illustration, he took in a deep breath, then exhaled without coughing. And strictly speaking, it wasn't a cure because it wasn't his lungs that were repaired. Probably not the best time to bring up the detail that he would die quickly unless Baphomet did regular upkeep.
"But it's more important that you keep your promise. Please Jayce."
As far as they knew, this was unprecedented. No kind of magic had ever done anything like this before, but they also didn't have complete records about the arcane. The hand was warm and strong, alive. In the end, that was what Jayce found himself caring about the most. At the silent request, he stared back at Viktor, wondering what cost could be greater than paying with one's own blood and flesh.
"You gave your hand, your leg, your blood. Was that not enough?"
It's a stupid question, Jayce knew the moment he took a good look at his partner. There was something else eating away at Viktor, something haunting that cut deep. He could tell because Jayce had that same look on his face every time he thought about the Shimmer raid. The next words, though, brought him some comfort, and his iris turned a rich yellow.
"You are fully cured now? Did someone with healing magic help you?" If so, Jayce had someone to thank profusely. He found himself smiling, his eyes a little wet now, after seeing his partner breathe without issue. "It's amazing, V."
He didn't know how things worked once they left Folkmore, if they would be able to keep some of the bonds they gained, Jayce only hoped that would be the case for Viktor. He let out a shaky breath of his own and nodded. "Yes, I'll keep my promise. Once we're back, I'll destroy the Hex-Core."
This had been part of why Viktor had kept his hand and leg hidden for so long; he was ashamed. Both because of the just plain stupid mistake he'd made in the lab and what it had cost Ms. Young. He would have to broach that topic side-on. He didn't think he had the strength to try to take head-on.
"Several someones tried to use healing magic on me, but none lasted for more than a few hours. The first time I found Baba Yaga, I also spoke with Baphomet."
The change in Jayce's eye color was profound and a little bit surprising. Certainly, Viktor had expected him to be pleased but not that pleased. Still, Viktor couldn't help having a small smile in response to it.
"It's not exactly a cure. Baphomet had some type of magic to create flesh constructs and that was what he did to me. The trade-off is that my own lungs were in too bad of a shape to be usable. So he replaced them with what I'm using now."
Viktor lightly shrugged.
"I don't know how long they'll last, but since it is likely I would be dead soon without this sort of intervention, I'm grateful for the quality of life I have over the length of time it gives me."
They have now been granted more time than Jayce ever imagined they would get. There will be more chances to talk about their mistakes and intentions, and hopefully get some sort of understanding and redemption. Jayce isn't ready either to talk about what happened at the factory, but perhaps with some time, he will.
"I know Baphomet. I'll have to thank you properly." His eyes were only getting brighter now, closer to actual gold than simply yellow. This Legend's trait was a bit embarrassing, and fairly inconvenient. Jayce couldn't conceal his actual feelings, but that matters little now. What was important was that Viktor would be all right, for now.
"Oh, okay." He looked taken aback by how Baphomet managed to somehow replace Viktor's whole lungs to cure him, and was silent for a couple of moments before speaking again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so curt. It's a lot to take in at once, it's all. Magic new lungs, that's...wow. But yes, it's very good, Viktor."
He knew that magic could help people, and had tried to prove that all his life, but Jayce could never have imagined something like this before. The prolonged stress and anxiety of the last month and a half were all too much now that it was over. Jayce's free hand rose to brush at the wetness he could feel pooling at the corner of his eyes, and his breath was a little shallow. He gave Viktor a shaky smile, irises still bright gold, and used their connected hands to pull the man into a tigh hug.
"I'm so happy you're okay, Viktor. I don't know what I would do without you."
Viktor was entirely caught offguard by the impromptu hug. He staggered a bit so he ended up with his face turned to the side against Jayce's collarbones below his chin. One of his hands was now mashed between them and the other sort of awkwardly hovering to the side.
But after a moment Viktor let the awkwardly hovering hand come to rest against Jayce's back. It was probably for the best that Jayce wouldn't be able to see the pink blush staining Viktor's cheekbones like this. Usually, Viktor didn't care for being touched, though it was mostly well-meaning people trying to take the cripple's arms. So he didn't know that casual touch could feel so...nice.
That didn't count what Jayce had said when he pulled Viktor into this hug, either. That alone would have made Viktor blush but coupled with the hug and Viktor was left speechless. All he could do for the moment was stand there in silence and hug Jayce back.
Jayce couldn't help himself, emotions got the better of him. He closed his eyes, eyebrows drawn together, and didn't seem to be willing to move any time soon. It did occur to him that squeezing their hands between their chests might be really uncomfortable for Viktor, and he let go so he could wrap his other arm around his partner.
Close like this, there was no way Viktor missed the way Jayce's heart beat quickly, like a trapped hummingbird trying to escape its cage. It calmed somewhat when he felt Viktor hug him back, and Jayce's whole body relaxed. He let out a low, soft sigh, and tilted his head, his cheeks pressing against the top of his friend's messy hair. He didn't think about anything for some long moments, simply basked in the relief of having Viktor here with him, safe and on the way to recovery. It was something they couldn't have back home.
He knew that Viktor wasn't fond of being smothered, and after another minute or so, Jayce slowly leaned back to give him space. There was a small smile on his face, and Jayce's own cheekbones were flushed, but that could be blamed on the fact that he still looked a little teary. Viktor hadn't said anything before, and now it was Jayce's turn to be at a loss for words.
Once his hand isn't being mashed between them Viktor did actually use it to hug Jayce properly. Or as properly as he knew how to anyway. The blush staining his cheekbones pink was still there when Jayce turned that small smile on him because his skin had become much too pale for it not to show.
Viktor felt a bit odd about actually hugging Jayce. It didn't feel bad...just odd. Then again it had rarely ever been anything but the two of them working alone in the lab so Viktor hadn't really thought anything about Jayce's easier time with showing his emotions. To him, that was just Jayce. Viktor had never thought that expressive emotion might get turned on him. Certainly, Viktor had thoughts that it might feel nice when Jayce turned those expressive emotions on others but those thoughts were always quickly dispelled by the reality of his own body and later the much more urgent problem of his own impending death. It was something of a surprise to realize that wasn't something he had to think about anymore.
There was a moment of Viktor looking at those tear-filled eyes that seemed to stretch for longer than any moment should...and then Viktor lost his nerve and glanced furtively away.
"Um. You said you actually had a reason for coming here?"
For a moment, Jayce practically melted against Viktor, enjoying the way their bodies slotted together and the fact that his friend was hugging him back. It was rare for him to do so, making it all the more meaningful to Jayce for it. It was no secret to anybody who knew Jayce that he found comfort in touches, and that he offered them freely to those who welcomed them. Touches helped him center himself, and Jayce was always weak when it came to receiving them in return. And he touched Viktor the most.
When Jayce looked at him, the blush was impossible to miss, and he gave the other man a silent, fond look. That blush brought a funny feeling to Jayce's stomach, even if he couldn't put his finger on what it was. He didn't bring it up, only admired the unusual view before Viktor averted his eyes. There had been something, Jayce thinks, a Moment with capital 'M', passing between them when they stared at each other. A moment when he felt there were important, unsaid things clinging to the air, but it had gone away quickly. Later that night, once Jayce is back in his own apartment, he will replay the events in his mind, thinking about if he's missing something he should know.Â
"Right, yes. I did. Let me just..." Jayce stood to fetch the present and brought it back to Viktor in a matter of seconds, leaving it in his lap. Inside the box there was a dark burgundy coat with a few small copper pieces of metal in the cuffs and lapels to give it an extra elegant touch. "Happy Holidays, Viktor. Come on, open your present."
Viktor took a moment to get his composure back while Jayce was distracted, and did manage it when he had the wrapped box given to him. Glancing up at Jayce once when the other man encouraged him, Viktor then carefully opened the corners one side at a time, keeping the wrapping paper mostly whole as he removed it. The bow was attached to the wrapping paper and went with it. The paper is then neatly folded and set to the side - Viktor had never gotten enough presents as a child to rip any decorative paper - and when he opened the box to find the coat.
He was actually mildly pleased it was a gift that was something functional. He didn't fully have a grasp of this holiday and he wasn't at all sure it wasn't meant to be frivolous as part of 'the Holiday Spirit'. He had a small smile as he lifted the coat partially out of the box and saw that there were metallic accents at the cuff and lapels.
"It is very nice. Thank you, Jayce."
Viktor turned his small, pleased smile onto Jayce. Then his look turned thoughtful.
"I have something for you, as well, but it's not really a gift. More a token of remembrance."
And from just his pants pocket, Viktor drew out a tiny gear. It was recognizable as one of the little parts of the first model Hexgate they had ever used as their proof of concept. He held it out, cupped in his flesh hand toward Jayce in offering.
"It's meant to be a reminder of where our dream started. So we don't risk losing it again."
The paper gesture was so very Viktor that Jayce couldn't help the fond smile that spread over his lips at the view. If anything, it made the present feel more relevant somehow. He was even more pleased when Vitkor, ever the practical man, seemed to really like the coat.
"Ah, welcome. They figured it couldn't hurt to have something to keep you warmer. The days had gotten incredibly cold as of late." That was a pretty and rare smile, and Jayce felt the funny feeling in his stomach come back with renewed force. What a silly thing.
He hadn't expected Vitkor to get him anything at all, didn't think it was the man's style, so when a little present was offered, he took it as if it were something precious. And precious it was. Jayce recognized it immediately.
"I can't believe you kept it. You, softie." Jayce teased, his smile bright and happy, as he held up the gear. "I'll get a chain so I can wear it as a necklace. It's a good reminder."
[ In the last few days, Jayce's mood had improved significantly, and his eyes had been a steady yellow at last rather than the somber cyan blue of the early weeks of the month. Realizing his feelings for Viktor and K, as well as learning that Viktor was okay with the idea of people loving more than one person and forming a familiar bond with K, have left Jayce feeling all warm inside.
He was still nervous about sharing that last bit of information with Viktor, but he wanted to tell him the news as soon as possible, since he had no plans to keep it a secret.
Jayce gathered the finished blueprints for Rio's new giant aquarium tank and went to find Viktor at his desk, probably working on Cobb's new arm. ]
Viktor, do you have a moment? There's something I'd like to tell you.
[ Going by Jayce's tone of voice, slightly nervous but still upbeat, Viktor could probably tell it wasn't bad news. God knew they had enough of those this month. ]
[ Set shortly after Valentine's day | Action ] Also doing prose;
In fact, he was. Viktor was adjusting the torque that would allow the elbow and the wrist movement with two very thin screwdriver-like instruments. It's also noteworthy that at the corner of his desk, he had what had been a bouquet of a dozen roses but was now rather odd looking with most of the blossoms snipped off of the stems. Viktor had found that Rio did not like the stems probably because they were too tough for her to swallow whole.
Viktor looked up from what he was doing to regard Jayce, though, who seemed to be nervous but excited about something? Viktor set aside the thin screwdriver-like instruments, not wanting to accidentally make a mistake on Cobb's arm while he wasn't paying attention.
The view of the half-eaten roses filled Jayce with amusement and resignation all at once. By now he had realized that no amount of flowers brought to Viktor would catch his interest in a romantic fashion, but they would absolutely draw Rio to them in a 'new snack' sort of way. That alone was enough for Jayce to keep bringing flowers every now and then. it made Rio happy, so by extension, it also pleased Viktor.
"The arm's looking good. I'm glad we took on this project, not only is it useful for Cobb, but we've learned a lot about this new technology." That's not what Jayce wanted to talk to Viktor about, he knew he was stalling, but it was true that the arm really was progressing wonderfully. OKAY, focus. , Jayce told himself, taking a deep breath.
"Have you heard about the Familiars bonding with Myths and Legends? Â When there's mutual acceptance and understanding, a special kind of connection."Â
Not unlike the connection that already existed between them, but perhaps better defined, more clear for all the participants. Myths and Legends couldn't bond, however, at least not as far as Jayce knew. But that was a thought for another time.Â
"K and I the other day...we chose that connection, that kind of personal bond. I just wanted to let you know."
Was that what he had been so nervous about? There was hardly any reaction with Viktor only smiling a very little bit.
"I've heard that a bond was possible and that it was apparently quite intimate, but I've never known how it was meant to work. I do know that this bond also helped Legends control their emotions. Which, no offense, you do need help with."
Viktor tilted his head quizzically.
"Does this mean you'll be sleeping with K? He's been sad lately, but that might help improve his mood."
Yes, yes, that was it. Jayce at first wasn't sure if the lack of reaction was a bad or a good sign, but the moment he caught that little smile from Viktor, he knew it was the latter.
"As for how they work, I don't know if it changes from person to person. I can tell when K is feeling strong emotions too, I can sense his soul. And my senses warn me sooner now if he's in some sort of danger or distress."
The mention about how he needed to control his emotions earned Viktor a slightly offended pout, but Jayce didn't find it in himself to argue against it (Hard to deny the truth, embarrassing as it could be).
The following question, however, had Jayce's cheekbones go from 'barely warm' to 'actively looking like a ripe cherry' in a matter of seconds. He knew the answer, of course, but for a few mortifying seconds, Jayce stood there, opening his mouth with no sounds coming out of it. Then rubbed his nape in a nervous gesture and tried again.
"No, we're not sleeping together. Not like I wouldn't like to! But I emh...I don't know if K is interested in sex at all. And sex is not necessary for a relationship, either, at least to me. "
Edited (Fixed a couple of words, sorry!) 2023-03-06 00:20 (UTC)
It never ceased to amaze Viktor how Jayce could be so oddly prudish about the strangest things.
"Well, has he stopped you from touching him in a certain way before?"
Touch had never bothered Viktor, but he still had a pretty low opinion of himself in the first place and that opinion usually colored all of his interactions with Jayce. It would be worse if Jayce knew of Viktor's romantic feelings for him but would still think of Viktor as a kid brother; something that just needed looking after, of protecting because Viktor is too fragile to look after himself.
"I could see that kind of touch being interpreted as possibly too sexual."
Talking about his possible sexual life was not how Jayce had anticipated the conversation going! Viktor caught him off guard, that's all. That said, he did have a hard time addressing these sorts of matters with Viktor because of his feelings for his partner. What would Viktor think of him if he were finally brave enough to confess? That he was only interested in the sex, the possible gratification?
For now, all he could do was answer Viktor honestly.
"No, he did not. But allowing someone to touch you is not the same as giving express permission. I'll have to talk to him about it and ask K what he really wants." Jayce is all too aware of the way people in K's world had abused and mistreated him and his kind, and he refused to treat K with anything less than kindness and respect. The fact that he would also happily sleep with K if asked was irrelevant, or so he told himself.
Viktor's last words made Jayce's expression fall slightly.Then he tilted his head, looking at his partner with curiosity. He was tempted to take a step closer but restrained himself.
"Is that...is that what you think when I touch you?"
This had opened up a very difficult subject to navigate. If he admitted to liking the fact Jayce had never been shy about physical contact, even if Viktor absolutely could be, would that then mean that Jayce would get awkward about doing it now? Viktor had a moment of wondering if he should lie and hope to keep the same working relationship they had always had. But lying had only compounded problems or created new ones, so it was deemed as not worth it. A muscle tightened in Viktor's jaw before he spoke.
Jayce straightened a little, his cheekbones still dusted pink, but he was getting his blushing under control. Much like Viktor, he was torn about how to act next. He hadn't meant to put his partner in an uncomfortable situation, not now and not in the past. Touching others was simply Jayce's first way of expressing concern or friendliness, but he could now see how it could have been interpreted as him wanting more. Perhaps, subconsciously, that's exactly what he was doing.
He didn't want to stop touching Viktor, is the thing, but he also didn't want to make things awkward between them. In the end, it was not his choice to make, and in part, he was grateful for that. He took a step closer, looked down between them, and brushed his hand against Viktor's before meeting the man's eyes.Â
Viktor stayed completely still as if Jayce were a wild animal that might get spooked and run away. Even the light touch to the back of his hand didn't make him stir, because Viktor wasn't sure what he would do if he did move.
"...no. I don't want you to stop."
And just maybe Viktor's hand did risk moving then. Maybe a single finger returned that caress to one of Jayce's fingers, only the touch was feather-light. Maybe there was also a moment in there when their eyes did meet and Jayce had a moment of seeing the intensity in Viktor's.
But in the end, it was only a moment and a fleeting one at that.
In an effort to keep himself from blushing and thus giving himself away, Viktor checks a very distinctive pocketwatch that he didn't have before Valentine's day. Nor did he have the remains of a dozen roses.
"I made a resin cast of the new robotic hand. It should have hardened enough to be ready now. I wanted to add small neoprene pads to the tips of the fingers for better touch control."
Time seemed to slow down, and for a beat, it was just Viktor and him, frozen in time. Jayce liked the quiet and appreciated Viktor not pulling away in disgust when they touched.
"I don't want to stop either." His breath caught in his chest when the light touch of this hand was returned. It might have seemed small to an onlooker, but it meant the world to him. It made Jayce think: Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...Maybe there was a chance for them. Jayce's eyes light up again, another flash of gold as their eyes meet.
It felt all too brief.
When Viktor looked away and inspected his new watch, the spell was broken Jayce looked away and cleared his throat. He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and then looked at the arm, trying to concentrate on what Viktor was saying.
"You are doing a fantastic job with that arm. Cobb will be pleased. I've been working on the system to turn on and off the cooling system, to make the switch as small and intrusive as possible. And I've also finished the desing of Rio's aquarium tank ."
Jayce left the blueprints on the worktable and leaned to inspect the arm, curiosity piqued. He wasn't simply praising Viktor when he mentioned that his partner did a good job, it was the honest truth. There was something else that got Jayce curious.
The irony is that Jayce had more than a chance if either one of them would just set aside their own silly fears about making the other feel awkward. Viktor glanced once at Jayce then looked back at the watch and turned pink. He smiled as he closed it thinking of the night he got it.
"Yes. Inanna gave it to me on our date for Valentine's day. He's better at celebrating an Earth holiday than I am, I think."
One day, they might get there. One day. How long could it take them? Another decade? Hopefully not.
And now there was that lovely blush on Viktor's cheek again. Jayce was getting very fond of the view. Of course, once it was clear why Viktor was blushing, he paused and blinked in confusion.
Date?
Valentine's day date?
For a very, very brief moment, Jayce's eyes flashed green. He frowned, but it didn't last more than a second, and thankfully, Viktor was still looking at the watch. Then he felt ashamed of himself for the brief pang of jealousy and for being this selfish after Viktor had accepted his bond with K so openly.
Inanna was a good man and an even better friend. Someone who was understanding, sweet, protective, and witty. Someone who would look after Viktor and make him feel special and loved. Once Jayce faced the facts, it wasn't difficult to feel happy for them.
"That was very sweet of him, I'm glad you had a good time. I didn't know you were dating. It's good to hear he's treating you well." Jayce also had no doubt that Viktor would be just as good for Inanna as well, and the goddess deserved some real appreciation after everything he had gone through.
Viktor had entirely missed that flash of green in Jayce's eyes but he looked back up now. He was still pink and still smiling. There seemed to be so few things in Viktor's life that made him smile, but speaking of Inanna always did it.
"He made it very clear that we weren't going to be exclusive from the beginning, but I don't know if he's dating anyone else. As smart and magical as he is I would not doubt it. But I'm not dating anyone else right now. so while not exclusive it is just us."
The last part was said with a bit of a shrug.
"I haven't been capable of things like dating before, so this is all still kind of new to me. It's nice though."
Probably for the better. The green was...well it was not nothing, but Jayce truly didn't want to bring jealousy into this. It was undeserved, and he was honestly glad about Viktor and Inanna had found happiness in each other.
Part of Jayce can't help but feel bad that he was too late, that now Viktor had someone who made him happy. He would not care for anyone else in that same way. That was it until Viktor clarifies that they were not exclusive, prompting Jayce's eyes to get bright gold again.
"Oh, you're not? I see...of course, right. Whatever works best for you both. I mean. That's...that's great to know."
Jayce was babbling He was aware he was babbling. Jayce couldn't stop babbling. He could, however, try not to smile like an idiot. The keyword there was 'try'.
"You deserve these things, Viktor. That kind of happiness."
Hi Viktor, I'm Pike. Baphomet had made a post about needing some help in regard to your health. I know it meant finding a new body for you, but I think I might have some healing spells that might work. Back in my world, I'm a cleric - a healer.
I obviously don't want to get your hopes up. Divine spellwork isn't an exact science and I don't know what sort of disease/toxin is messing with your body beyond what I heard. But I wanted to reach out to you in case you might want to go through with it.
Let me know either way! If you don't want my healing, maybe we can be friends.
Hello, Pike. I appreciate the thought but the toxins that I have dealt with are all from the time I was a child to growing up amid polluted water, land and air. This means that every part of my body is now failing. Baphomet has helped me be able to live like an able-bodied person but without his intervention I would be dead. I am not saying I don't want your healing, I am saying that there's nothing to heal. And believe me, I certainly wouldn't be willing to go through with something so extreme if there was another way.
Hello, Viktor. I saw Baphomet's post about giving you a new body, and I'm...[ Worried sick. Scared. Freaking out??? All of it, really. ] ...I wanted to know what you thought of that idea.
I'm not sure how to answer that? You've known that Baphomet's intervention was only a stopgap and was never going to be an actual cure. Though extreme, this would actually result in a cure.
[ Or worst case scenario, Viktor would be dead. But Viktor honestly didn't think that would be the case. ]
Yes, I know. And he's also racing against the clock himself, and his suggestion is motivated by the fact that he might not be there to help in the future.Â
[ The prospect of losing Viktor or Baphomet is driving Jayce a little bit insane, but life decided to be a bitch to them all. ]
It's your decision in the end, Viktor. I'll support you no matter what you choose. But I can't deny that I'm afraid.
Baphomet also lost his parents to a mysterious illness before he became a god. I think his suggestion has a personal aspect to it too. But if it helps allay your fears you could think of this as the only way one of us has the prospect of surviving more than another month or two?
Baphomet mentioned to me once that his parents died suddenly, but not how it happened, so I didn't know that. He wants to help as much as he can before it's too late; I can understand that, but...there must be something that can be done without any of you having to suffer or die. Hell, I don't know, maybe if we gather enough spoons we can do something...
[ Viktor, oh my god. Jayce's voice cut all of a sudden at that because now it doesn't help at all. When he manages to find his voice again, it sounds small and strained. ]
[ Look Viktor has a pretty fatalistic outlook, and though nobody has really asked his opinion on this but Baphomet, it's a pretty bleak one. ]
Why? It's just the truth. A difficult, maybe even painful truth, but still the truth. It's not one that I particularly like either but not facing reality for what it is makes things so much more painful later.
[ Given Viktor's situation is an understandable outlook, yes. And Jayce knows it. It hurt to see both of his friends so close to possible death and being unable to help in any way. ]
I know! I...know. But we need to still cling to hope too. Back home, we thought you had almost no time left, then we came here and things got better. Somewhat.
[ There's a pause before Jayce adds, voice low. ]
I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to.
[ It's that small statement that still makes Viktor blush. At least like this, Jayce can't see it. It also softens Viktor's tone of voice. ]
I'm sorry, Jayce, I know this is hard for you to hear. Believe me, if there was another way, I would go that route, instead. But there's not. This is only possible because of Baphomet's abilities, and I've only continued being alive thanks to him. as difficult as this is, it's the only way.
[ That's a shame, Jayce likes the way Viktor blushes. It makes him even more handsome, in his opinion. Viktor's tone of voice is also comforting, even if he's confirming Jayce's fears. ]
I understand. [ He does, really. He just hates that things had to be like this. ] Could I be with you when Baphomet does the switch? He says it's safe; I know he's done it before, but it still sounds scary.
[ He wants to be there for Viktor no matter what. ]
[ Jayce messages Viktor shortly after his conversation with Hawke. The blunt question is because he's worried now, otherwise, he would have said 'hello' first. ]
My health is fine, Jayce. Honestly. It's just some headaches and I don't exactly know what is causing them because they seem to happen regardless of stress. And cannabis is the unknown plant that Hawke was growing in his garden. It contains several different chemicals and it will depend on which strain he has but all cannabis contains the chemical CBD which is best for treating pain. It would also contain CBG which can help with focus, and CBN which can help for restful sleep. Cannabis will also contain the chemical THC which is what people that smoke cannabis will get high on. Personally, I don't care for THC because I'm not taking it for the high.
K has also been having headaches from time to time. Sometimes I can tell when he's not fully feeling well thanks to our connection, but it's not as if I experience the pain myself. Could it be that your bond with him is different and you're sensing his pain?
Ah, that. It's good to know its name. [ Even if Jayce has no interest in the plant, he can see why others might find it beneficial. It's the 'getting high' part that doesn't sit well with him. Viktor can't see him frowning, and this is exactly why he decided to go by text replies. At last, he has confirmation that his partner isn't interested in that. ]
I see. That's very informative. Thanks. [ And then, because he has to ask or he will be thinking non stop about it; ] Aside from the headaches, is there anything else? Any other pain or...?
I don't know? I've never had this kind of bond with anyone before.
[ Jayce can't see the exasperated fondness on Viktor's face, either. Though it's probably for the best that one can't see the other ]
I've noticed that on occasion with K, too. I want to see if fully immersing him in the Encantado river might help him with the migraines he's been experiencing since it's been a healing agent for those that have had their forms changed into something monstrous.
Neither did I, so I'm speculating. I don't want any of you to suffer. If Hawke's plant helps, that's great, but we need to figure out what could be wrong. At Amrita Academy, there might be someone who knows what causes the migraines. Or perhaps Mel's healing can help you?
[ Of course, Jayce is now trying to find options and solutions, even if he's not sure what the problem is. That's just how he is, he needs to try and do something. ]
If that river is so powerful, you both should soak in it. I can't go there easily since I am often unable to cross Exile.
It would be more beneficial to know what the source of the problem is, I'll grant you. Perhaps I could ask that K allows himself to be examined at Amarita for his migraines if I allow the same thing about my headaches.
I think that anything else, be it Mel's magic or the Encantado River, would only be a temporary solution.
Yes, of course. But until we figure it out, stopping your suffering is what matters most. Maybe. I don't know if he'll like that. Please let me know what he says if you ask him.
Yes. I really thought this was over.
[ 'This', being Viktor in pain. At risk. That's why Jayce is upset, his partner was hurt, and he's once again not sure what to do about it. ]
[ Yeah, you might want to be clear about that Jayce. Because right now Viktor is cursing at Hawke more in his thoughts. Once again he feels like a disappointment thanks to something he can't control. ]
I'm sorry, Jayce. This was why I didn't say anything. I didn't want to cause you to worry.
Yes well, allow me to rephrase; I didn't want to cause you to worry about me.
[ Knowing the difference between others worrying about his safety and him being the source of their stress is something that Victor still struggles with. ]
[ Jayce's face softens at that, and now it really is a shame Viktor can see it. ]
It's a difficult thing, I know. No one probably likes to talk about these things. And I know I can get a bit too much of a mother hen sometimes too, I'm sorry for that. Just want you to have a good, happy life.
[ Yeah good luck coming up with a name for what they were. Partner is what Viktor considered him, but more is also accurate. However, viktor is confused about why anyone who knew Jayce would contact him. ]
I don't honestly know how to answer that. It was only in Folkmore that we have been able to repair our working relationship, and back in the world that we both came from that relationship was at a breaking point.
I suspect that if we both don't remember our time in Folkmore that breaking point will be surpassed.
[ The next time Viktor visits his work space in the lab, on his desk he'll find two tiny handmade clockwork figurines: a golden dragon and a golden cat. He may have noticed K working on them over the last few weeks. Even if not, it won't be a mystery who they're from — the android has also left a signed note that states he hopes Viktor likes his gifts and also suggests doing something together soon. ]
Instead of leaving his jagged chicken scratch handwriting, Viktor goes to find K at the lab. Adele would have found him first and she has been dividing her time between visiting with K and overseeing what Viktor has been working on.
"Thank you for the figurines. But you never need an excuse to see me, I always enjoy your company."
Viktor gives K a sincerely warm smile.
"Although I will admit that I have been spending a lot of time measuring the PH balance of the hydroponic garden."
K's stood at his own workspace area and looks up with Adele and Viktor's approach, returning his smile.
"I hope you like them," he replies, his smile becoming a bit shy. Even now he still doesn't expect his efforts to be acknowledged, so it's a welcome surprise each time that they are.
"And I've noticed. I wouldn't mind spending more time at the garden with you." There are always things to check on there, tasks that need doing, the expected work that comes with maintaining such a big communal garden. And he's happy to help out beyond dealing with things in Wintermute. "Something concerning about the pH?" he wonders.
Adele flew in a circle around K and then settled on his shoulder. She wasn't usually so effusive with anyone but Viktor but she had never made any secret about her affection for K specifically.
"It's not a concern about the P H balance, but any hydroponic garden needs to be regularly tested to make sure that the P H balance in the reservoirs is optimal. It's even more important when the garden is being filtered by a fish pond. Otherwise, algae and duckweed could start to grow."
The lilypads and blooming lotus flowers were already well established in the pond itself but Viktor wanted to keep the reservoirs in the garden free of plants that could steal resources from the ones that were already growing.
"I...would like it if you would stay longer than it takes to drop off the battery unit from Wintermute?"
This means that Viktor noticed the small detail of the battery being present in its slot. He kept a smile. He also made no secret of his affection for K. He did hope to see him more often. With time the bond on his end had gotten a little more distant. It was nothing against K, Viktor liked him very much, it was only that Viktor was a somewhat shy and indrawn person. It had happened without his knowledge. He wasn't kidding when he said that he would like to be in K 's company more. He did feel like he never got to see him and so it was natural for Viktor to hide, especially from something so intimate (that he felt like he didn't deserve) as a Familiar bond.
"How has the amulet been working for you? Are you still having migraines? "
K's smile grows while he watches Adele circling overhead before she takes up her usual perch on his shoulder, and he reaches up to stroke the delicate scales of her chin. "Hello to you, too," he tells her, petting her as he listens to Viktor.
"I can help with that testing. And maybe I can expand the small garden I have there." Not that he needs excuses to be there and to stay longer, but he likes feeling productive, keeping his hands busy. He wants to be useful. "If you feel up to playing tour guide, you could also show me around the place now that everything's established."
Maybe he can surprise Viktor with some picnic lunches too. He knows how his friend often forgets to eat, and K figures he shouldn't let his cooking skills go to waste. Mutually beneficial.
For an android who still struggles with the concept of being a person and everything that entails, bridging that growing distance between himself and Viktor is not something he readily knows how to do, though he can sense its existence. Perhaps it was inevitable, he thinks; the only constant in his life has been losing everyone he comes to care for, and it may be that an artificial being simply isn't meant to share such a bond with a real person. It wouldn't be the first time he's fallen victim to Thirteen's cruel tricks.
He seems distracted as he continues to pet Adele, but surfaces from his troubled thoughts to answer Viktor's questions.
"It's been working as you intended it to. It helps significantly," he explains, reaching to pull out the amulet from where it's been resting beneath his layers of shirts. Of course he's wearing it. He gives Viktor a meaningful look. "I'll always be grateful. That you did that for me... it means a lot to me."
Adele heard happily at being pet. It is truly a shame that both Viktor and K had such low opinions of themselves since they were getting in their own way when it came to each other.
But upon hearing that K did derive continued benefit from the amulet made that bond on Viktor's side grow a little warmer. It wasn't gone and it wasn't something that K would have to bridge any gap to find. It was still there. It just needed to be dusted off a bit so that it wasn't hidden anymore.
The idea of a picnic inside the garden hadn't occurred to Viktor but he would be charmed if K just showed up with one. The feelings that Viktor had been trying to dismiss whenever he was around K weren't gone either. But Viktor had been very stern with himself and resolved not to push any of K's boundaries until such a time when or if he chose to instigate it and not before. After all, Viktor was as new to this idea of polyamory as K was and really didn't know what he was doing at all.
"Good. You are not beholden to anybody, which includes me. I just wanted you to have the freedom to make your own decisions."
Hey. Saw your request for help, seemed like you got more than enough so I didn't think you needed another offer. But I wanted to let you know if you need to relax some after all that mess you've got a free voucher at my bar. If you're not against going down to Tides.
I have nothing against going to Tides. I also had not been able to drink before Folkmore, but I know the labels for the kind of liquor that they would make in Zaun, where I'm from. It would seem that it was quite a bit stronger than things I have seen since. Well, stronger because it's spiked.
I have only had one alcoholic drink that was sweet enough for my taste. If you have an entire bar then perhaps you will know another?
Often it was with the street drug Shimmer, that could make the user have temporary physical mutations if you took enough of it. Another one is Noxinthe but that one only comes with a blissed-out high.
Yes, it absolutely is. It keeps being added to things that are making it across the bridge to Piltover. Shimmer addicts are coming from all walks of life now and not just the lowly street thugs of Zaun.
I can't speak for what those variants of the drug are doing to people who use it for recreational purposes, but just trying to inject it rather than turn it into something to be smoked or swallowed makes it much more painful.
I'm sorry, that's shit that it's just getting spread more. Probably not something that's easily stopped either. We were trying to help people addicted to Kick back home. Trying to get it off the street but seemed almost impossible without taking down the source.
The source has always been the chem barons or crime kingpins of Zaun. I once worked with the scientist who originally made Shimmer when I was a child. I don't think that it was what he first intended, but rather a byproduct that he was able to monetize.
Yes, they control almost everything in Zaun. And if dangerous ideas didn't excite the mind, we would never wander astray. But I would like to try an alcoholic drink that didn't have anything that was spiking it
haha right? arcane season two proving science may ruin everything
[ Delivered to Viktor's mailbox is a dark-wood toolbox with a silver handle that has several compartments and levels for any tinkerer to store his various tools. Included in the toolbox are a few assorted tools from the lab ruins of Cruel Summer that were intact and looked to be something up Viktor's alley.
For Adele there is a code attached that Viktor can redeem for a gift for the small dragon be it some food or a toy. ]
Viktor,
Thank you for your friendship this year. I hope you can find something to do with this. Please get Adele something nice as well.
[ Earlier in the month of December K transformed their renovated apartment with festive lights and decorations, including decorating the many house plants, wanting to make their first Yuletide/Wintertide holiday together feel special. Their adopted robotic spider pet even gets some miniature festive clothing to wear. Throughout the month K's baking skills have been getting a workout, with new treats being made on a daily basis (and there's usually extras of everything on purpose, should Viktor want to share with others.) Adele isn't forgotten, either; K makes her various fish treats. Domestic life seems to suit the android.
On the evening of the 24th, a couple wrapped gifts are left out for Viktor: one box contains a page of handwritten sheet music as well as a recording of K playing it (backup upload in case), and a smaller ring box contains an elegant handcrafted ring with a circuitry and gears theme meant to represent their connection — a brilliant engineer and an android. A mechanism within even makes the tiny cogs turn when the ring is worn.
Unannounced but still intended as a gift to Viktor is the walk-in closet filled with nice winter clothing in Viktor's size, including a new cat-themed scarf to replace the other K had given him before. K has enjoyed seeing Viktor wearing his own sweaters, so he isn't going to mind continuing to share, too. Now Viktor just has more options, plus ample room to expand his wardrobe in the future should he wish to. ]
[sent a couple days after receiving the intriguing tablet gift from Viktor]
I've been so curious about this gift you sent me over the holidays, and I can't stop thinking of all the possibilities! Is this for a project you're working on? Is there more I should know? I'm buzzing to help however I can!
While I do have plans for the directory that you were going to fill it involves someone else and someone else's lab so I can't talk too much about that part. What I can say is that filling in as many of the stories from across the interconnected universe - a multiverse if you will - as possible will allow us to start numbering the different worlds. Numbering them is a solid first step to being able to travel in the multiverse.
The multiverse is a concept that's been discussed where I come from too. I'm not sure of the science behind it or how it works, but it's certainly been theorised plenty.
Is there a reason you're putting this together in the first place? Or is that top secret?
We know that it is possible for alternate universes to meet and intersect, Folmore is proof of that. Young Peter Parker explained why he called Folkmore a Nexus World. Which means there is more than one of them. My colleague is building a device that would facilitate matter going from one universe to another. I do not know if that would mean a living human.
If the ideas of one universe could be implemented in a completely different universe, imagine the possibilities. The knowledge that could pass between them could save thousands. Or it could mean protecting a single important person. Even simpler things like the arts could become distributed far and wide in more than just one universe.
[ It could be absolutely wonderful...or it could be a horrific Pandora's Box. ]
Since it involves one reality interacting with another it would have to be something that's done with just energy. In the world that I am from there are two things that can be perceived by us humans but is still able to be in many universes at the same time. We call it the Arcane but it's really just a kind of magical energy. The catch is it could be incredibly dangerous if the wrong person used it. The whole planet of Runeterra, where I am from, was very nearly destroyed by it in the past.
That is why we would need exact coordinates. I am aware it would be something that would be a long-term project to sift through the stories of the many representatives from different worlds, and I do hope to involve Thirteen at some point.
I do so enjoy learning about different worlds though, so I'm happy to help however I can. There are already so many I've heard about over the past... almost two years.
I'm grateful you thought of me. I'm not great with all the sciencey bits but I know you've got that part more than covered. Tedious research is my favourite!
The last week may as well have been a lifetime when K doesn't expect to ever see Viktor again. He hopes against hope to, but the promises they made each other hinge on the cooperation of Thirteen and the multiverse as a whole, and so his expectations are understandably very low. In his experience, that's how unannounced disappearances pan out — he's always the one left behind. Always the last man standing, the only one who remembers what he shared with someone.
So when he feels the essence of their bond suddenly thrum back to full strength, his heart is in his throat as he drops everything he's doing and quickly follows it to where he hopes to find Viktor, scarcely able to believe what's happening. Viktor actually came back to him? His Viktor?
The hivemind of everything that had even had enough sentience to experience an emotion dissipated and it felt to Viktor like he was being torn apart. It wasn't painful; it came with the knowledge that he was using a kind of sympathetic magic along with Jayce to close this part of the anomaly. He decided that his death would be less frightening when he was not alone.
But it was not his death. Instead, he was fully conscious but in a weird sort of limbo state. When he became aware of his surroundings they had turned into a foggy swamp, one that he recognized as being Exile. Things that he had known and somehow forgotten or they were mixed up with what the arcane had done to him and hadn't seemed important. Knowing what he now did, he could see where he'd been led around like a bull by the nose ring and felt sick at it.
He didn't even look remotely human anymore, instead standing like a tall creature with insect-like joints and glowing holes in his mask. A mutation on his design for the hex claw sprouted from his back, this one was much thinner, much more prehensile, and it created a halo made of runes behind his head. The staff that he'd been using since he left Piltover was still in his hand though notably without the anomaly held in the top.
By the time K has made it out to where he senses Viktor, he's barely able to stand upright as he struggles through the thick, suctioning mud of the swamp that's trying to drag him down with every step. Staying still for longer than a moment causes him to sink in past his thighs. He doggedly presses on until he sees — he isn't really sure what he's seeing, but he knows who it is. If he'd had the heart to imagine their reunion, this certainly isn't how it would've played out. But regardless he's relieved and overjoyed to have found Viktor again at all and his unrestrained emotions carry through their bond.
"Viktor!" His voice is strained, thick with emotion. "What happened to you?"
In an effort to avoid fully sinking into the tar-like muck he tries to keep moving, though it's becoming increasingly difficult. He wasn't prepared for a trip into Exile. But his eyes never leave Viktor's altered form, and he has to wonder what it means. He'd left Folkmore. Maybe this isn't Thirteen's doing.
K was overjoyed that Viktor was back in Folkmore but from Viktor, there was radiating such a sense of sorrow, guilt, and shame...so much shame. He reached out with one of the bizarrely stretched arms, fingers reaching toward where K was struggling.
"...K."
When he spoke even his voice was warped. But you could still hear the man inside the monster. A man who was in terrible pain. Drawing the arm back in, it was as though K became suddenly weightless and was lifted free of the sticky muck.
Instead, Viktor looked at the emaciated arm that was stretched so much that it did not look human at all. He balled the fingers into a fist and this time when he dropped the arm down to his side light seemed to surround him in strands and shimmering threads. They appeared to come out of nowhere but the bands of light were crisscrossing all around Viktor to create a glowing orb. More and more strands were added until Viktor was entirely obscured.
The glow first became more intense, then it faded away until it was completely gone. All that was left was the form that would mean that Victor was alive... though still merged with the Hex core. His form was smaller, more like how he had looked. And he at least had a face like this. His brown hair was now shoulder length and had gone white at the bottom. But his entire body had now become that strange mix of metal and magic that his hand had once been. His eyes were iridescent like this but still held so much pain.
The emotions he can feel from Viktor put a damper on his own and they become muted with uncertainty, and he watches with growing confusion and a numbed sense of wonder as he's helped out of the muck with seemingly no effort. With magic, wielded as though using it is second-nature. Then Viktor is transforming before his eyes into a more familiar form, at least from the neck up, but still isn't exactly... himself. K's at a loss for words, staring at him in silence for a long moment.
"I didn't think I'd get to see you again," he manages once he finds his voice, summarising what had been a week of hell for him. It obviously doesn't begin to compare to what Viktor has gone through, he can tell that much. How much of Viktor is even still there, he wonders as his heart sinks. The Void.
When he had been responsible for one person's death, Viktor had sobbed and contemplated suicide. Now he didn't actually know if there was a way for him to commit suicide. Viktor's eyes were iridescent like this but at K's question they filled with tears, the first one breaking free to sprint down Viktor's cheek.
"I don't know."
Without the effect of gravity and nothing else providing any motion, K was only an inch or two away from his feet touching the ground. Viktor raised one of his hands as though he were going to reach out and touch K, but the touch didn't connect, and Viktor's hand hovered between them.
"... I can't do it. I can't dissolve a Familiar bond. I know that I should, that it wouldn't be safe for you to be bound to me. That I have been responsible for so many awful things. That I don't deserve a Familiar bond. But I can't make myself do it."
The silent tears were flowing in earnest now.
"I am sorry that I'm too weak because it means that you will have to."
Faced with the choice of either perpetually sinking into the enchanted swamp or hovering over it, K prefers the latter and doesn't try to get free of the magic yet. The only movement he does make is to meet Viktor halfway, reaching to take his outstretched hand.
"There's always been risks, and I accept them. Let me help you."
It seems apparent that Viktor could benefit from having their bond now more than ever. Using their joined hands as leverage, he pulls himself closer to Viktor and with his free hand begins reaching toward Viktor's face. But he pauses, withdrawing his hand to wipe off as much of the swamp-muck as possible on his coat, uses some of his own magic to warm his chilled skin, and only after that does he cup Viktor's cheek in his hand, gently thumbing away tears as his uncertainty gives way to warm sensations of comfort and love gradually filling their bond. Regardless of what Viktor feels he does or doesn't deserve, K's love isn't conditional.
"Don't discard me," he says in a small voice. Like a broken machine that's served its purpose and is no longer useful. It's a dreadful thought. He takes some comfort in the knowledge that bonds can't be forced; their bond only persists because they both still want it.
"Will you tell me about where you've been? You disappeared last week." Viktor's hair is given a curious glance. "It looks like it's been much longer for you."
Blame it on a surge of emotion where there had been little to none that now made him close his eyes and cling to the hand that K had first extended toward him. There was still so much guilt in the emotions that he was radiating, but mixed in with that was also a shining thread of the joyous, free feeling that being with K gave him. Fresh tears had stopped welling up in his eyes, at least. After a moment of clinging to K's hand, he spoke very quietly.
"I'm an awful person and I can't make myself stop wanting to be close to you."
Taking the hand that was cupped gently against his face, Viktor held both against his chest, head tilting just enough to rest his forehead against K's. It's a Zaunite way to show affection for another person, but there is no way that K would know that.
"But I think it's been almost a year since I was in Folkmore. And as far as telling you what happened, I can show you instead."
Parts of his fingers lit up and traced toward K's hands. Only because K is a machine does Viktor try using his magic on him because he would not be infecting an organic human.
This particular Zaun custom is universal enough for K to understand the meaning and he smiles at the gesture, gently squeezing Viktor's hands, relieved that he doesn't keep trying to push him away. But they're going to have to talk about whatever it is that has Viktor convinced he's a bad person. Before he can ask what Viktor means, he feels a telltale sensation not unlike what he experiences when interfacing with other technology, except — it's Viktor.
A unique connection both technological and magical is established, offering Viktor a firsthand glimpse into the vast intricacies of K's programming and all of the coding that makes him who he is. Readily available at a surface level are his manufacturer's serial numbers, model serial number, incept date, and other such indicators that he's a product of the Wallace Corporation.
K's eyes flutter when the connection is initially made, then he looks to Viktor in surprise. "That's new." And something that he'd like to explore more — later. When he next 'speaks' it's through their connection: I'm ready.
Viktor reaches up to gently clasp both sides of K's temples and instead of using his fingers, the custom of gently touching foreheads in order to show affection carries over. But the information exchanged is computational like a data packet. It's everything that Viktor had seen and felt over the course of the last year compressed into a type of code that had more to do with the runic script than something like binary. Starting with his first death of many during the rocket attack on the council room.
The growing distance between Jayce and Viktor came to a breaking point when first Jayce used the hex core on Viktor. Then within a few minutes of realizing what had happened, he was going to pick up Sky's notebook and saw that Jayce was designing a rifle for use with hex tech. Viktor had been devastated and had never been very good with emotions. So what did he do when the one person he had cared about and trusted most broke his promise? Viktor shut down. It was then that the idea that human emotion was a danger first occurred to him.
After Viktor left, his first impulse had been to use the magic he now could to find a way to help those at rock bottom after a life of being so badly mistreated, abused, and forced out to the very fringes of the city. His vision had been idyllic. From clean water to enough food for everyone, and an end to sickness. But the fatal flaw in that was the loss of differences of thought or personality, of 'imperfections'. Eventually, they became both a commune and a hive mind. One that showed the truth of what it was when Jayce was the one to kill Viktor for the second time.
Only then did things start to show themselves as being as dark and lonely as Viktor's soul had become. While he was still being influenced by the hex core he came to the decision that human emotion was the true problem. After he tried to partner with Jayce again and was forced out of the council room by the combined energies of Jayce and Mel, Viktor felt stunned that they would both go against him like that. Stunned and heartbroken. It was then that he decided to give up his humanity. Which explained why he had looked the way that he had at first since that was the way that he had last looked in the 'real' world.
But at the very end when he was literally a hair's breadth away from sterilizing the entire world, a boy that he had not met before, but one who obviously knew him, through a device at him that defied every law of physics that he knew. Defied and when the device made impact, did the impossible and actually penetrated the Herald enough that it could turn back the clock on the humanity that Viktor had given up.
In the very end on the astral plane when Jayce hugged him and Viktor could see into his memories enough to see the old mage who had first inspired Jayce all those years ago was actually another version, an older version, of Viktor. The older version claimed that he wanted to bring an end to the world's suffering and was going to do it with science. But when every equation was solved, there was nothing but fields of dreamless solitude, which meant that this version of Viktor was functionally immortal but was also alone forever because he was being used by the arcane itself. Human emotion is necessary because it informs our conscience. And without emotion? There was no conscience at all. Now that he understood what had been happening to him, Viktor was completely horrified.
Horrified enough that he was willing to do the one thing that he was afraid of most; dying alone with no one to remember him. But Jayce didn't let him do that by himself. At first, Viktor did not understand. He still doesn't entirely understand, not really. But he understood that it was something that Jayce had to do for himself as much as for Viktor and so Viktor expected to die alongside Jayce in order that they could use sympathetic magic to close the anomaly under the Hex Gates.
But all those people. When I evolved them they never came back. They were just soulless husks. That is why I am a terrible person.
Now Viktor was certain beyond doubt that K would despise him.
A year and several multiverses worth of knowledge is shared and processed faster than the speed of thought. It's going to take K much longer to process everything in the metaphorical sense, particularly the emotional resonance, but one thing is immediately obvious to him.
Though he witnesses events from Viktor's limited point of view, he has the benefit of being able to parse everything from an outsider's perspective. An outsider who happens to know Viktor and his way of thinking very well, or he'd like to think he does, at least.
"'You were being manipulated the whole time... The hexcore was using you."
Is still using him? Is it the only thing keeping him alive now? The questions are clear in K's expression as he looks at Viktor and his altered form. Jayce had made that choice for him against his explicitly stated wishes, betrayed him to save him... and K can't help wondering what he would have done if faced with the same circumstances. It's painful to even think about, but he can also understand why Jayce chose what he did, where Viktor is concerned. Continuing to weaponise hextech after promising not to is another matter, one that he isn't sure he'll ever know the full story on. He wishes Jayce was still here.
Contrary to what Viktor is expecting from him, K simply leans back in until their foreheads are touching again and then gathers Viktor into his arms, holding him tight. He knows it's more complicated than blaming Viktor's choices and actions entirely on the hexcore's influence. He knows some of Viktor's guilt may be warranted and that he'll have to live with the weight of that for the rest of his days. He knows, because they're not so different. Only the government-sanctioned executions of K's own kind that he'd been ordered to carry out never held the guise of truly helping anyone, not in the same way that Viktor had originally tried to aid and uplift those in dire need.
"I'm so sorry for what was done to you," he murmurs. "And all of those people." K's feelings toward humanity may be complicated and rarely positive, but Viktor's pain matters more to him than his own. And it doesn't take having an empathic bond to tell how much Viktor is hurting right now. K fully intends to keep the promise they both made — as long as they have each other, neither of them has to be alone again. He wants to be with Viktor. That hasn't changed.
At first, Viktor's mind refuses to accept K's words because he had altered people's minds without their consent. Forced them into becoming his own personal puppet army. But Viktor had already said that he was weak and right now he felt as vulnerable as a raw nerve. Where there had once been no emotion and a steady numb feeling so that nothing seemed to change the destined 'glorious evolution', now there were all emotions with the pain of guilt at the uppermost. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut even as more silent tears leaked from them, Viktor curled his arms against his chest and hid his face in K's.
As much as he didn't think he deserved it, Viktor couldn't help feeling pathetically grateful that K had not pushed him away in disgust. After all he had done and been through, he did not know how he would have coped with that because he couldn't think of a way that he could possibly kill himself. Realistically speaking that would have broken his mind entirely and he would probably spend the rest of his days in a catatonic state.
"It would be easy to blame it all on the hexcore. But there is always a choice that goes with any use of magic."
K's intimately familiar with what it is to be a slave and to be denied autonomy, and even what it is to possess it and then have it brutally stripped away again. He doesn't have to imagine the horror of it because he's lived it, and he's one factory reset away from it becoming his reality once more. In light of that maybe he should feel wary of Viktor and what he's proven to be capable of, but he doesn't. He isn't afraid of Viktor, but he is afraid for him...
Is the hexcore still exerting its influence even now? How much of Viktor's mind and will are truly his own?
"Your good intentions were insidiously weaponised." Not unlike what happened with hextech, he thinks. Though he doesn't disagree with what Viktor said. "It would be different if you'd set out to subjugate people from the beginning. I could feel what you felt," he says quietly as he leans his head against Viktor's, wishing he could do more for him. "I know you wanted to help them."
"Intentional or not, I don't expect anyone to forgive any of what I did."
That is an open question. How much is the hex core affecting him? It is what has been keeping him alive all this time, and even if it's possible for him to live in Folkmore without it, it's not possible to separate it from Viktor at this point. Even before he ever came to Folkmore he was experimenting with it added to his blood and body.
For a few minutes, they stay that way Viktor just leaning his forehead against K's while keeping his eyes closed. He didn't realize it but being in physical contact with his bonded Familiar was soothing. But after a few minutes, he did seem to realize where they were. They both had cold swamp muck on their feet plus K's coat and the hem of Viktor's robe.
"Is it...is it all right if I go back to your apartment with you? We're both covered in mud and need to wash that out of your coat before it sets."
Viktor wasn't in any position to lay claim to anything, much less where K lives.
Your apartment. Not 'our'. Combined with Viktor wishing he were strong enough to end their bond, the initial shock of it feels like ice water being thrown in his face. It's hard to quell the feeling of rejection it causes even with Viktor in his arms like this. He came back to Folkmore, but maybe he hasn't come back to K.
"Of course it's all right. You live there too." Finally releasing Viktor, K turns away for a moment under the pretense of taking in their surroundings to orient himself, and uses that opportunity to discreetly swipe at his stinging eyes and compose himself. "If you still want to," he adds before reaching for Viktor's hand again, so they can start making their way out of the swamp.
"I don't deserve to have any kind of home. I shouldn't say it's my place too."
Viktor still thought he didn't deserve K either but he was still holding on to K's hand in one of his and the second hand clinging to K's wrist. Knowing where they are going, Viktor's magic still keeps K weightless and is creating shimmering places everywhere that Viktor's feet touch the ground because otherwise, he would sink into Exile's muddy swamp too. Small and unassuming Adele was waiting until they had started to leave. But she is aware of Viktor's distress though she was hoping that by staying back and letting K talk to Viktor first, it would help. Now she flies down from the branch she was sitting on to land on Viktor's shoulder. She cuddles up close to his neck and rubs her tiny cheek against his like a cat in an effort to comfort him.
His magic remains until they get to Epiphany. K is able to walk now if he wants to, but Viktor is still clinging to his hand and wrist. Even once they were inside the apartment, Viktor was still clinging. Even when K takes his coat off Viktor is standing right there while he does it and then once again clinging to one of his hands. He follows after wherever it is that K leads.
"It hurts that you feel that way. Like you don't want to share a home with me anymore."
Even if he can understand the reasoning. They have a long journey ahead of them to undo the damage of the last year for Viktor, K can already tell. If it even can be undone.
He sheds the dirtiest of his clothes near the door to be seen to later — boots, socks, coat, and after a few moments' consideration, his pants as well, since they're caked in mud up to thigh level due to how much he'd struggled in the swamp. Less to clean up later if he's not tracking mud through the whole apartment. He lets Viktor cling; it makes it easier to take care of him. He also pets Adele, grateful for her presence. Hopefully she can help Viktor, too.
Leading him to one of the bathrooms, K starts a shower running before he gets a closer look at Viktor's attire. Viktor's own memories will serve as his guide for helping him remove the makeshift robe without damaging anything. But after reaching to start undoing the bindings around Viktor's waist, he pauses.
"Would you like me to help you?" he asks. "I'll use the other bathroom if you prefer privacy." With the drastic changes to Viktor's body, K isn't assuming he's going to be comfortable with all of the same things as before. Best to ask first. Everything feels uncertain and strange right now and it makes him nervous. Is Viktor intending to move out as well?
Viktor has a little bit of a frown, but there is still a disconnect between what emotions he feels plus how strongly he feels them, and what shows on his face.
"No please stay. I don't want you to feel hurt, so for your sake, I will say that I live here too."
His robe is actually a blanket that K will have seen in his memories as the same blanket that Jayce had laid across Viktor's shoulders. Viktor hadn't thought he would ever see Jayce again so he kept the blanket as the last reminder he had of Jayce. It had been styled along with the straps at his waist by Huck in the commune.
All of his body had become that mix of metal and magic. One very noticeable difference in how his body looks is the bizarre ridges on his hips and a noticeable lack of any genitalia whatsoever. What had been a hard corset to create an artificial spine for him had become a permanent part of his body, and now, it looked like he had a permanent corset tipped in gold. The only part of his body that was actually warm to the touch was his face. The rest of his body was a cold type of metal. It meant that the mud on his bare feet was just as cold as the metal it was stuck to.
Adele had her tail curled around the back of Viktor's neck, though she didn't need it to hold on, she was staying cuddled up against his neck even as K led him into the shower. Adele actually liked swimming and otherwise being in the water, so she wouldn't mind taking a shower too.
With a nod of acknowledgement K helps undress him, making sure that neither his eyes nor his hands linger on any one area for too long lest it make Viktor uncomfortable. Having experienced Viktor's memories of everything lessens the shock of seeing his altered body now in person, though he is curious how it functions compared to before. Adele seems to be staying for bathtime, so he lets her be and gestures for Viktor to step into the shower first, then he sheds his remaining clothing and joins them.
The shower is spacious enough that not even two people and a diminutive dragon in it at the same time makes it feel crowded. The hot water does most of the work of rinsing away whatever swamp muck is left on them, but K still opts to lather up with soap and thoroughly scrub himself clean, wishing his worries could be washed away as easily as the mud.
It's automatic, the way he turns with the intention of washing Viktor's back for him, but before his hands can make contact he pauses to ask, "Is it okay if I touch you?"
Viktor had taken a few minutes to use soap and water on his legs and feet so he wouldn't keep tracking mud around the apartment. But since his body was mostly made of metal there wasn't a need to use soap and water on all of it. Viktor still did though. Call it a holdover from being human.
Adele glided down to the floor and spread her wings in the shower spray like a bird, flapped them a bit, then held them up again as she got both of her sides under her wings wet. She shook water off of her head like a dog would and when Viktor's hair was rinsed he flew back up to sit on his shoulder, but this time facing K.
"Yes, it's all right if you touch me."
When K's hands make contact with Viktor's bare back, there's a sharp intake of breath from him and purple light that glows in the crevices and gaps of Viktor's new body wherever K's fingers touch.
"It...feels like you have somehow reached inside me and touched my very soul when you touch me."
For better or worse, Viktor is still human to K. He has an entire lifetime of lived experience as a human, and who he is now is still informed by those experiences, in the same way that being an android has informed everything about who K is. That's what matters to him and as far as he's concerned the Void can't take that identity away from Viktor. After all, despite the drastic changes made to his own body from being both a Coldblood and a Familiar, he still considers himself an android.
And as before, K experiences an echo of the sensations as well. It's immeasurably comforting to know that aspect of their bond has remained intact during Viktor's absence from Folkmore. As drained and emotionally raw as K's feeling he can't quite muster the playful curiosity he'd shown before when he'd experimentally pinched Viktor's nipples (which can't happen now anyway, he realises with a little melancholic pang), but he does note with interest that the connection has possibly become even more intense. And there's glowing...
Being mindful of that, K is careful to keep his touch light as he works soap over Viktor's back and begins washing it for him with gentle, massaging motions. Adele is also given a soapy-handed pat to her head.
The truth was that it had felt good and it also added to Viktor's feeling that he didn't deserve a Familiar bond. He was too emotionally traumatized not to feel like anything that made him feel good was something that he didn't deserve right now.
Adele is a little unhappy about the soapy hand that left a soap bubble on her head. She flew down from Viktor's shoulder to put her head in the shower spray. Then she shook it like a dog again and flew up to sit at the top of the shower stall out of reach of anyone but still able to keep Viktor in sight.
Oh, no. There's immediate regret for having caused Adele to move away; he hadn't meant to annoy her. Frowning to himself and feeling sort of almost doubly rejected, K continues in silence. Even once the soap is rinsed off he still makes light massaging motions while gradually working his way down Viktor's back and sides, an excuse to stay in contact with him. He isn't unaware of the guilt, but he likes making Viktor feel good. And he worries it's probably the only way for him to be remotely useful to Viktor at this point.
Actually, that bond that they share would be very useful to Viktor right now. Sorting out how he is supposed to feel is a little bit harder when he feels every emotion as sharply and clearly as he does. The possibility of being able to talk to K about it or even better to be able to have K act as a sort of filter could help Viktor to make sense of them.
Right now the glow is following where K's touch goes and goes dark again when K's fingers move on. Viktor has a shaky exhale, not able to help leaning back just a little bit into K's touch and closing his eyes.
"I don't know if it's a new effect of a Familiar bond or the fact that I can't make myself not love you even though I don't deserve you, but it feels like you are touching my soul."
As Viktor leans a little more toward him, K presses a kiss to his shoulder and in the same careful manner slips his arms around him, hugging him from behind. His metal may not be on the outside, but he's normally cold to the touch as well. The heated shower water has warmed them both up, mirroring a different kind of warmth that's spreading through their bond, while K does his best to put aside his hurt feelings for Viktor's sake. He's sure Viktor has enough already weighing on him without him adding to it.
"And I don't feel good enough for you," he quietly admits, "but it hasn't stopped me from loving you. I think your soul is beautiful."
When K's chest came into contact with Viktor's back, he had a loud lewd moan at the electric feeling thrumming through his entire body. Now the glow remained steady everywhere that K's skin was touching the metal of Viktor's body, but in the bond was the heightened feeling of warm arms coming around his sides in order to hug him. The bond was a mess of guilt and sadness but also the beautiful and silvery joyous thread of how Viktor felt being with K and the laughter that K would surprise out of him. Amidst all of that was the heat of increasing desire. And since all of Viktor's emotions were felt so much sharper and clearer, that desire was felt sharply too.
Viktor turned around in K's arms. Trying to swallow another moan at the amazing feeling of K's chest touching his and not doing very well at it.
"You are a machine that nevertheless imitates a living human perfectly and you are far more humane than many humans I have met. You are already perfect. My soul is a twisted, damaged thing. But if it's something you find beautiful then you can lay claim to it."
Having said that, Viktor did lean forward enough to kiss K.
Edited (fixed a word, sorry) 2025-01-16 06:27 (UTC)
The stark intensity of the echoed sensations, emotions, and especially Viktor's words and the sounds he makes are a startling combination; it's hard for K not to let himself get lost in it all. The building heat of desire is both surprising and relieving because it feels like another sign that, in spite of everything, Viktor is still himself. It provokes a response from K's body as well, one that makes him a little self-conscious because of the changes to Viktor's anatomy, namely what he used to have but now doesn't. But they can still kiss.
And K finally does allow himself to give into the heat of the moment, kissing Viktor back with urgency as his hands find their way to Viktor's hips, his fingers tracing along the ridges and grooves, testing how it feels to grip them now. Viktor has always felt so terribly thin that at times he's worried about inadvertently hurting him, but now the curious combination of magic and metal that comprises his body diminishes some of that concern. And he knows Viktor is far stronger than he looks.
Soon he winds one arm around Viktor again, wanting to keep their bodies pressed together as they are. Even if it makes the physical state of his arousal inescapably obvious. But maybe it will help Viktor to know K still wants all of him regardless of the changes he's undergone. Viktor's words, though... Perfect. He can't wrap his head around being thought of like that. The words also hurt, that Viktor sees himself that way, even as they touch deeply buried desires within K that before this moment, he couldn't have really imagined being allowed to want. Being invited to possess Viktor.
"There isn't a single part of you that I don't find beautiful." He brushes their lips together in a softer kiss now, smiling. "Does that mean I can claim all of you?"
Viktor's hands dropped to cover K's so that K's hands were now sandwiched between Viktor's hands and the metal of his hips. And yes it did help Viktor feel a little less like a monster that K had an undeniable physical response to him despite the radical changes that his body had undergone. Even when it's just one of Viktor's hands sandwiching K's, the other arm loops under K's shoulder and pressed against his back so that they are pressed together so tightly that not even a sheet of paper would have been able to pass between them, Viktor still had a quiet but unhappy whine at the softer kiss. All he could think about was more, harder, faster, now.
"...yes. Yes if you want all of me... Well, I'm already yours anyway. Take all that you want. Just please don't stop touching me."
Viktor moved K's palm underneath his hand. Now the glow that was showing purple light through the cracks and crevices of his entire body was no longer going out as K's fingers moved on but was growing steadily brighter. What had once been concentrated between his legs now felt like it was everywhere that K's skin contacted the metal of his body. Viktor may not have genitalia of any form or fashion but with K, and likely only with K, that effect of having two mirrors pointed at each other magnified the feeling of touch until it felt like his entire body was alive with sensation, like it was coming from everywhere all at once. He leaned forward again to capture K's lips in a far more heated, needy kiss and Viktor couldn't help a little sound in the back of his throat.
K's instinct veers more toward taking his time exploring Viktor's body and their bond and savouring every moment, in part to make up for the last year that Viktor has had to be without him. But he can tell Viktor needs something a bit different from him right now.
Which he obliges through increasingly hungry, demanding kisses and by letting Viktor guide one of his hands where he wants to, and with his other hand he strokes Viktor's back, down to his ass, across his hip and finally to experimentally cup between his legs. A lack of genitalia doesn't necessarily mean a lack of sensation, he thinks, particularly with how Viktor is responding to his touch everywhere else. And the glowing. It's mirrored within K's own body not with light, but with a simmering heat and waves of pleasure that have his cock throbbing almost painfully where it's pressed between their bodies.
Separate from their Familiar bond is the more technological connection that has remained open in a sort of standby mode since they interfaced. K utilises it now to share several deeply treasured moments from his memories of Viktor, providing a window into how K sees him and a reminder of who he still is.
My Vitya. Beautiful. You have always been deserving of my love.
Viktor had leaned up just enough that he was able to slide K's hand over his side and across his ribs until the hand at his chest stopped over where his heart would be on a regular person. He had to squeeze his eyes shut for the moment.
Klimt.
Viktor's body was already arched against K so that he could bring one hand over his chest but still be able to press against K's belly and thighs. If you put a gun to his head he still would not be able to tell if the sensation he felt was coming from the touch over his chest or the gentle touch between his legs. Maybe both. Viktor took a single hard inhale and opened his eyes to look at K. Eyes that were now glowing to match the sustained glow from his body, so Viktor was looking right at K when he wailed and the glow brightened for just a moment, sending that same feeling of love that was so fragile to create but has proved to be stronger than steel when it's tested into the bond so strongly there was no room for anything else.
All of the sensations feel as though they're rapidly building toward something and K continues mapping Viktor's altered body with his hands and mouth, learning him anew. As physically close as they are, he still wishes they could be closer, somehow. And having experienced Viktor's orgasms secondhand before, he's able to recognise what feels, unmistakably, like the approach of one — at the brink, he's surprised to notice even Viktor's eyes are glowing now.
Then as the mirrored, combined, recursive pleasure and feelings of love flooding their bond wash over him, his eyes slip closed and a heady moan resembling Viktor's name escapes him. As impossible as it may be, he thinks he can feel the release within his own body, from the rhythmic contractions of muscle to the way his cock feels as though it's pulsing against Viktor. It might also just be the remembered sensations of shared orgasms in the past, but in that moment the source doesn't really matter, only what they both feel. The love they share.
Afterward he wraps his arms around Viktor once more, his smile hidden against Viktor's neck. Even if they weren't in the shower there wouldn't be any cleanup needed, so there's no reason not to give into his urge to hold Viktor while enjoying the afterglow.
"If I were lucky enough to have several lifetimes with you," he says quietly, sounding a bit breathless, "I'd still want more."
The glow dimmed some but it certainly wasn't gone and Viktor couldn't help a little sound at the heightened feeling of K's arms around him. Viktor's neck which moved like muscle and sinew nevertheless felt like metal to the touch and there was even something that sounded strangely metallic, like the sound of incredibly soft reverb whenever he spoke if you listened closely. The glow was fading from his eyes but still in his pupils as he frowned and then spoke very quietly to the wall behind K as he looked over his shoulder
"... And - Ah - what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor?"
What if he was just the hex core wearing a Viktor mask? This was as close to human as he could change himself to be while the hex core was still able to keep him alive.
Of all possible responses to a declaration of undying love, that is perhaps one of the most unromantic. Which sort of feels like further evidence of this really being Viktor. But so much for the afterglow. K's smile fades along with some of the lingering feelings of pleasure as he leans back to look at him.
"What if my emotions aren't even real, just programming?"
What if neither of them are actually 'themselves', just the result of something else's influence or control? It's something K has struggled with for years now, and he isn't sure he has a good answer yet. But he'd like to offer what reassurances he can to Viktor.
"You still feel like Viktor to me, where it counts. And that you're even able to consider that possibility is an indication of still being yourself, I think. What purpose could the hexcore pretending to love me possibly serve?"
None of this has felt like an act to him, but since Viktor seems to be genuinely concerned about the possibility...
Viktor still frowned in thought but wound his arms around K's neck and laid his head down on K's shoulder.
"If I ever start to not feel like Viktor then I want for you to tell Mel or Hawke. Don't wait, tell them right away."
Viktor's mind has always been steady, and logical, the one tool that he had that he was proud of. But what had very nearly come to pass scared him so badly because it was his logical mind that was making the decisions that it did. Viktor who had always been a staunch pacifist had been responsible for creating a mindless puppet army. Viktor who was a quiet and shy scientist created a hive mind and in so doing killed the differences in the people who were living in the commune. Viktor was afraid of what he could do and that anxiety was probably bleeding into the bond a little. With K he did feel safer, shivering as he cuddled closer and the heightened feeling of their metal and skin again making contact kept the glow still present but not brightening.
"I love you. I don't know if I've ever said it out loud, though. I love you and I'm so afraid that the magic will be able to hurt you through me."
When K views the last while through the lens of Viktor's worries that he isn't really himself... the implications make him feel sick. But still he has to wonder what purpose the hexcore would even have for using him in such a way. As far as he could tell from Viktor's memories, he hadn't seduced any of the people in the commune.
He tries to keep his growing distress and sadness out of their bond and offers feelings of reassurance as he strokes Viktor's damp hair. But he just feels so wholly inadequate now — Viktor doesn't seem to trust him to even be capable of handling things on his own — and again wishes he could help Viktor in any real or lasting way. That it wasn't always other people, such as Baphomet and Jayce and Mel, that are the only ones who can.
Viktor was quiet for a moment but then seemed to grow more determined. The resolve to do something that helps assuage the anxiety bleeding through in the bond. Action always did help with his worries. Viktor leaned back enough to be able to look K in the eye.
"I'm not going to let the magic hurt you. I know that you are capable of some elemental magic, so you should be able to make use of the astral plane with me."
It used to be Sky who would assist him but now she was gone which was a problem because she already knew how to work on that plane of existence. Viktor hoped to use the Android loophole that would help keep K safe from the void magic. But he wanted to go further than that. He honestly wasn't sure how he would pull that off but he had to try.
"We should get out of the shower. I would ask that the blue and red blanket that my robe was made from not be thrown out though."
Jayce had given him the blanket and it was very likely that he would never see Jayce again. The only reason that Viktor did not keep more keepsakes was just the simple fact that he had no frame of reference for keeping anything, much less something special to him.
"I don't think that magic would have any use for something like me?" Keyword being something.
With a final kiss to Viktor's forehead K releases him as requested. Hoping to hide evidence of his brimming tears, he gives his face a hard scrub beneath the running water then shuts off the shower and steps out. He pulls on a bathrobe and offers another to Viktor before bending down to start gathering their dirty clothes from off the floor.Â
Might as well try to be useful and wash Viktor's robe for him. By hand, he thinks as he carefully examines the material, just to be safe. He knows it has sentimental value. He doesn't want to risk ruining it.
"I'll wash it for you," he says as though it should have been obvious that he'd never just throw it out. "And before I do, can I get you anything?"
After the wild rollercoaster of a reunion that they've had, with the highs of declarations of love and intimacy followed by the abrupt plummet into the current low K finds himself in, trying to keep his hands and mind occupied with more mundane tasks for a while might help.
"If you can possibly do elemental magic all on your own then I think you have proved that magic has a use for someone like you."
Notice that insistence on the correct word. Viktor did take the bathrobe but once he had put it on, K was already gathering the discarded pieces of clothing on the floor. Before he put the dirty blanket over one arm, one of Viktor's hands took one of his and the other hand was clinging to K's wrist.
"Can I... Can I stay with you? Even if you are just going to do laundry."
Much as he wants to find a solution to K being possibly threatened by void magic, he still feels desperately vulnerable. K might end up with a clingy Viktor shadow.
The correction makes K smile. He still has his doubts about something that feeds off life as the Void does having much use for an imitation of life, but Viktor has a point about his magic, which stems from his blood; magic is an intrinsic part of him now, too. Though he wishes Viktor wouldn't add to his worries like this, he appreciates the effort to keep him safe.
"Yes. I'd like for you to feel at home here again... in your own time," he says, feeling the latter's an important addition. No pressure for Viktor to rush his recovery or do anything he may not feel ready for. And if his presence can bring comfort, he's hardly going to turn down having Viktor's company even when doing mundane chores.
K's own clothes are put into the washer, but Viktor's robe is taken to the kitchen sink to wash by hand with a gentle detergent. A chair is also set nearby in case Viktor wants to sit. It occurs to K that he could make a late dinner for them, but he isn't sure whether Viktor can eat now and he wouldn't want to eat alone. A question for later.
"Tell me about the astral plane," he suggests as he works soap into the fabric. "Would I be able to help you there?"
"The only time I feel like I'm at home is when I'm with you."
Technically no place ever felt like home because Viktor had not really had one so he had nothing to compare the feeling with. But he felt better when he could be close to K, even if it was just for holding his hand. Viktor also sat down in the chair that K had put out.
"I don't know that I will do a very good job of explaining. What it is important to know is that the same energy that makes up the human soul also makes up magic."
Viktor looked down at his lap, fingers fiddling with the end of the bathrobe belt.
"My lab assistant was a young woman named Sky Young. She was the only person that the hex core absorbed. What happened to her is my fault too, since I was the one experimenting and she was only trying to help me not die. In the end, it cost her life."
He looked back up at K.
"I think that I am going to need to use my magic to bring you in and out of it. But I want to change how my magic works on other people. No more infecting them or making a hive mind. Until I find a way to keep from infecting anyone by accident, I'm not going to use my magic on an organic person."
Since K is a robotic person, Viktor feels safe with him. And if the Void magic could not affect him the way it did with humans, then so much the better.
What a sweet sentiment. In response, K leans down to give Viktor an affectionate kiss. That helps make up for inadvertently killing the mood before and planting a seed of doubt about his identity. Even now a part of K wonders if the hexcore could really imitate someone so convincingly, right down to their emotions, and what purpose appealing to his own emotions could serve. Luring him into a false sense of security, but to what end? He'd far rather believe it's truly Viktor telling him these things and feeling this way about him.
"I'm sorry about your assistant." It helps to explain a few things K has long wondered about. That poor woman. He hopes she's at peace now. "It does seem best to limit the usage of your abilities. Do you think I'm able to help you change your magic like that? I will, if it's at all possible. Is the hexcore the source of your magic?"
Because that could make things infinitely more complicated — but K's still willing to do anything he can to help Viktor. He wants to hope that in the process they can also figure out a way to keep Viktor alive without the hexcore. If he'd want that.
Viktor doesn't understand why telling the truth would be rewarded with a kiss but it felt nice to be able to please K. And it's human emotion that the hex core was not able to fabricate. It couldn't reproduce them so it exploited Sky Young's knowledge and her connection with Viktor. While he had the ability to feel anything, she had probably been the only one who was able to emotionally connect with him. The hex core would have needed him to willfully give up the last of his emotions. And when he willfully gave them up, he gave up the ability to interact with her. In answer to K's question, Viktor sighed.
"I honestly don't know. The fact that you are a machine person and not an organic person would mean that my magic would not be able to hurt you. Beyond that, as far as what you can or cannot do, your guess is as good as mine."
Now he felt a chaotic storm of emotions all the time. This is probably evident to K as Viktor is oscillating between anxiety, fear, and anger at himself. His other empathic bond appears from being Between which she went into as soon as Viktor kissed K in the shower. Adele reclaimed her perch on Viktor's shoulder but still cuddled up to his neck.
K hasn't known much kindness or affection in his life, and has never had the luxury of taking these sorts of things for granted, so any crumbs of either that he's given are very significant to him. Even better if they happen to be the truth. Plus it can't hurt to encourage Viktor with any of these softer emotions he feels, especially right now.
"Sounds like it's an astral-date, then. We'll find out together."
Now he knows to refrain from trying to pet Adele with wet soapy hands, so he just continues washing the robe when she reappears. He'll make it up to her with fish in a bit.
"Your magic might be able to affect me in other ways," he says thoughtfully.
Adele was also able to sense Viktor's emotional state, and though he looked perfectly calm, she was aware that he was anything but. There wasn't much she could do about that but she was staying close to the warmth of his face and trying to be comforting however she could. The Hex core was still muffling the ability that Viktor had to show his emotions with his facial expressions, so the tiny twitch of his eyebrows together was tantamount to frowning in confusion at K.
Reading Viktor's emotions through their bond has become so second-nature to K that the muted emoting doesn't put him off the way it might others. He doesn't have to guess at how Viktor is feeling when he knows. It's a stroke of good fortune that Viktor also has an empathic animal companion, especially now, though K worries about how the chaotic storm of emotions might be affecting her when she probably has no way of understanding them.
"Healing, for one example. Healing magic that works on humans doesn't work on me." He rinses off one of his hands before lifting up his pendant that, yes, he still always wears.
"Mel's does because you found a way to convert it into something compatible with my system. Maybe your magic won't require that extra step. But I also understand if you would rather not experiment."
Adele didn't fully understand it was true, but she did know that the storm of chaotic emotions was Viktor's and not something inside her. Mostly, she just thought that something bad must have happened to him. As for the possibility of experimenting Victor's verbal response was quick.
"No. No experimenting with the hex core."
He had a reflexive feeling of fear to go with the statement. Viktor had a lot of self-loathing for most of his life but now it had become a sort of body horror in place of it. In realizing just how much damage the hex core was able to do when it was combined with his body and mind, Viktor had developed a deep fear around what had happened to him.
Whenever he's been injured he has always been left to heal on his own due to a lack of android-compatible resources in every world, so having access to something that might at least help boost the recovery process would've been useful, not to mention the other possibilities if Viktor's magic could actually work on him. But he isn't going to press the matter; he regrets the reaction his suggestion has caused.
Without looking up from the sink, K simply replies, "Okay."
Like he'd said, he understands.
"I'm going to prepare some fish for Adele. Do you want something to eat too?"
If it's just about using healing magic on an Android, that could be possible. But Viktor was deeply afraid of the magic somehow hurting K and didn't want to risk it. With time to heal, he may be able to get past that particular fear. Right now he goes back to that same emotionless expression that he's had for much of this conversation.
"I actually don't need to eat now. Sometimes, I will just to be able to taste something. But I don't have that kind of bodily need anymore."
The implication had been that he'd prepare something that Viktor does like, since he doubts he'd want raw fish. But it's a moot point now, it seems.
"Okay." With the same acceptance as before. "Let me know if you ever do want something?"
He takes the now clean robe and hangs it up to dry, then returns to the kitchen and pulls the fish out of the fridge and starts preparing it for Adele. He still doesn't care to eat alone, particularly when he has no need to, so he'll also forgo making himself any food.
Adele is very interested in what K is doing once the fish comes out of the fridge. She glides off Viktor's shoulder to land on the countertop near where K is working.
There is an awful lot about the human experience that Viktor has never tried in the first place and now has become a moot point. But moot point or not eating a meal with someone else fed a lot more than just the stomach. Once Adele was gone, Viktor tried to finger-comb his damp hair with mixed success.
"I am sorry if that is disappointing. I know that you learned to cook specifically for other people."
Mostly he feels sad for Viktor that he's been changed so dramatically against his will. For K, not requiring sustenance or sleep to live (though he can still benefit from both) has been a fact of life since his first moment of consciousness, but he can imagine how unsettling and probably dehumanising it might feel for a human to suddenly experience it. Even he occasionally eats for the enjoyment of the food, the company, the experience of being more like a 'real person'... maybe they can still have meals together every now and then.
"I'll miss being able to do that for you," he admits. "And sharing meals with you. So maybe you'll still indulge this sentimental fool occasionally. The same with sleeping, if you feel like it."
Fish preparation mainly involves descaling, deboning, and slicing it into bite-sized strips. He knows none of it's necessary, but it's the equivalent of giving her a treat; just the soft, tasty meat of the fish. He arranges the strips on a plate and serves it to Adele, then washes his hands.
"Does it bother you?" he asks as he looks back to Viktor. "Not needing to do those things anymore."
Seeing what Viktor is doing gives him an idea. He makes another brief trip to the bathroom and reappears with a comb and brush. Gathering some of Viktor's hair in a hand, he starts gently detangling it with the comb.
There is little to no expression on Viktor's face but his emotions were a swirl of regret with a little bit of relief mixed in. He did not need to eat and would only need an hour or two of sleep a week. But he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit of relief that he would not have to try to fake being 'normal'.
"... Sometimes, I think it will bother me. If only because it's more evidence that I'm no longer human."
He was already isolated from able-bodied people, then isolated even more as the by-product of having a gifted mind. That was how the hex core was able to systematically remove all of the emotions that Viktor felt, the ones that he already felt had little to nothing to do with those emotions ever being happy ones. Viktor looked down at his hand resting against his knee. There was some anxiety mixed with regret.
Unsure how to interpret Viktor's lack of reaction in this instance, K decides to err on the side of caution — he'd rather not risk upsetting Viktor any more than he already has with his questions. He sets aside the comb and brush for now, instead leaning back against the counter to look at him, giving him his full attention.
"The majority of your lived experience has been as a human. And that's shaped who and what you are. No matter what's been done to your body, nothing can change that."
His reaction had been mostly internal. He was still wrestling with the ability to actually show how he felt. It seemed like those reactions were being muffled so they weren't quite making it to his expression. He was close enough for it though, and so he slipped his hand into K's despite not looking up at him.
"... Do you still think of me as human?"
Viktor still felt like a raw nerve in that everything was affecting him, but he never knew when that storm of chaotic emotion would make him feel like he should be laughing or feel like he should be crying. Sometimes both at the same time. So right now, it's K who is the only solid thing left in the storm, and Viktor intends to cling to K as much as he possibly can.
Taking Viktor's hand, he gently squeezes it in a gesture of reassurance, mirroring the feelings of comfort coming from his end of the bond. Then he lifts Viktor's hand as he leans down and kisses his knuckles. There may not be much else he can really do to help calm Viktor's emotions at the moment, but he can at least offer another perspective.
"Yes. To me, you're still the person I've been fortunate enough to know for years. You're still the man I fell in love with. You once told me we're both more than the sum of what our bodies allow us to do. Even if you feel like you can't believe that right now, it hasn't stopped being true."
Actually, K could do a lot to calm that emotional storm for Viktor. Right now, he will just reach for that feeling of comfort that K is providing. Suiting actions to feeling, Viktor stands up from his chair, gently wraps both arms around K, and lays his head against K's shoulder in the crook of his neck. Being in physical contact with his bonded Familiar (this time with at least a bathrobe to act as clothes being on) was soothing to Viktor and he sighed in relief and closed his eyes.
"Right now, it seems like feelings for you are the only solid feelings that I'm capable of. It's like I can feel everything all the time. I think that I spent so long losing them that I've forgotten how to compartmentalize them the way that I used to."
When K thought their evening might conclude with going to bed like usual, getting dressed again hadn't seemed necessary. But Viktor no longer needs to eat, and presumably won't sleep either, so they probably should get dressed at some point. But in the meantime K's happy to hold him and offer what comfort he can. After a moment he reaches up to lightly finger-comb Viktor's damp hair.
"It's nice to feel needed," he admits. Especially when he's felt so disposable and replaceable his entire life. Even in his prior relationships he struggled with feeling superfluous. A part-time partner among many, never good enough for full commitment. And maybe he still isn't, but the fact Viktor chooses to share a Familiar bond with only him has to mean something. It's significant to K.
"And that's something you can relearn. It's difficult and overwhelming right now, but I don't think it'll always be like this. You need time to acclimate to... being yourself again. And I'll do anything I can to help. Just tell me what you need."
Viktor still had his eyes closed and spoke softly against K's shoulder.
"This is the first time that I've not felt overwhelmed. By the arcane. From emotion. From still being alive. "
Viktor's hands were clinging to the back of K's bathrobe. He might have said that all that he needed was K, but Viktor was aware of how incredibly unfair that would be to K to use him as an emotional crutch. He was right in saying that it would be possible for Viktor to re-learn what emotions went with what reaction. But that would take a lot of time and work. So for the moment, Victor was considering this a temporary reprieve.
It seems only logical to K that they take advantage of the benefits provided by their Familiar bond, part of which is helping to regulate emotions, to calm them, to make sense of them. He wouldn't consider it being an emotional crutch — simply fulfilling his end of their partnership. But Viktor's choice of words is noted, the way he seems to be holding back. K doesn't immediately respond, but instead reaches for the brush again, and starts gently brushing out Viktor's hair now that it feels like a better moment for it. Viktor seems more present.
"You have me," he says in a soft voice. "And if you ever feel that you need something I can provide, please tell me. Let's make the most of you still being alive, hmm? There's still so much to experience together. When you start getting lost in your work and studies and projects again, don't forget that you can have a life outside of that. And that there's someone who'd like to experience it with you."
While it might arguably be a good sign once Viktor falls back into his workaholism, perhaps this time around he can strike a better balance. Who knows how much longer they'll have together. Work will always be there, but people won't be. K knows that all too painfully well.
Viktor wasn't making K's task any easier by continuing to hug him with Viktor's face pressed against the crook where his neck met his shoulder. It's always been a reflexive response from Viktor to say that he needs nothing and no one after a lifetime of people trying to take the cripple's arms and 'help'. It wasn't until the last time that he woke in the hospital that he even admitted to himself he was in need of anything - even more time. Even then, it had cost Viktor's pride something to even admit that much. Now after realizing the scope of the horror that he was consciously unleashing, Viktor didn't think he had any pride left.
"I just... I just need to be close to you."
The chaotic storm of emotion was still there, but he was also clinging on to K, both physically and emotionally because K was helping to soothe Viktor. Being in physical contact with his bonded Familiar filtered out the emotion to only be what was directed at K. In this instance, it was the warmth of sincere gratitude, and though Viktor felt he was damaged, possibly beyond repair, that same bruised love was extended through the bond along with the warm appreciation.
The position may make brushing Viktor's hair a little tricky, but that hardly matters when it's meant as a soothing gesture more than anything, something that K hopes will feel good and that doesn't require anything from Viktor. There are going to be many such gestures made in the coming weeks and months. Maybe in lieu of sleeping, he can play more music for Viktor. Go for more walks together once he feels up to it. Stargazing together; K's always enjoyed it. Perhaps a return to nighttime gardening. He wants to give Viktor as much of a sense of 'normalcy' as possible. A solid foundation from which he can find his footing again, emotionally. The calm in the eye of the storm.
"Then stay with me." In Folkmore. In their apartment. In his arms. In every sense. "You feel like home for me, too," he says as he leans his head against Viktor's. "I want to be wherever you are. I would have gone with you, if I could have."
His anxious concern for Viktor has remained steady in their bond since his return. But as some of K's own worries and uncertainties are soothed by their contact and by Viktor's words, that sense of concern has gradually calmed to a point where it more seamlessly blends with the mutual and intermingling feelings of love throughout their bond.
With that chaotic storm of emotion calmed and held at bay, very much like being in the eye of a hurricane, a touch of Viktor's old humor peeks through as he smiles against K's shoulder, though his eyes still remain closed.
"I don't think you would like it very much if I carried you around on my shoulder, and that's the only way we would never be separated."
Which is only half a joke. After the changes that have happened to Viktor's body, he could probably deadlift a semi-truck.
"...but I've still missed this feeling."
Be it a year or a week, Viktor could still feel that there was something that he had but was now missing. But with the hex core influencing his thoughts, something as vital as emotional regulation would have been something that the hex core tried to remove from his mind, or at the very least tried to make it very difficult to remember.
"I am sorry that you can't mark my skin anymore. I know that you liked the idea of getting to do that."
"You seem to forget I'm an accomplished shapeshifter and mage in my own right." No deadlifting semis level strength required when magic is involved. It's heartening to have a glimmer of Viktor's old humour like that, and it has K smiling too. Though it fades into something more wistful at the reminder of something they can no longer do together. He continues brushing Viktor's hair, glad to have something occupying his hands right now.
"I liked imagining you were only mine," he admits. "Is that bad? Just a silly fantasy, anyway." And maybe not a very healthy one, even if it couldn't actually hurt anyone other than himself — there were certainly never any expectations involved. It's hardly the first time he's ever yearned for something impossible; not dying in his home universe whenever the Fox returns him to it is another prime example.
That actually made Viktor open his eyes with a definite frown.
"I don't understand what you mean by "only yours"? A familiar bond is a lifelong bond that I don't have with anybody else."
Viktor isn't really sure that he would want a bond with anybody else anyway. He had briefly entertained the notion when it was getting harder and harder to try to keep his feelings about K to himself. And surely not all bonds would be as intense as this one was because there wasn't actual care and laughter mixed up with them, right? But after thinking about it, it would be an awfully intimate one and Viktor wasn't sure that would be such a good idea. Now, it certainly wouldn't be. The possibility of the Void magic being able to hurt someone else so intimately made Viktor feel cold.
"As a... romantic partner," he clarifies. "But I am very grateful for our bond, and always will be. I'm grateful to have you in my life in any capacity."
He thought it had been clear from context how he'd meant it, and he feels guilty needing to clarify it even though it had only ever been a harmless fantasy. Monogamy feels taboo for an android like him to want; he's come to understand it's another privilege that only real people are allowed. Even in his home universe his AI companion had wanted to involve a third person in their relationship, while he'd wanted a committed partnership... It occurs to him that even having a bond with only him may not be enough, due to his artificial nature and not being as good as a real person would be. And Viktor deserves to have all of his needs met, be they romantic, sexual, or what a Familiar bond is able to provide him with, even if it requires multiple other people.
"Do you feel you need more Familiar bonds?" he wonders.
Viktor may not be capable of much in the way of facial expression, but he was still frowning as he straightened from lying against K's shoulder to look him in the eye instead.
"No, I don't. I entertained the notion once when it was becoming extremely difficult to keep you from knowing how I felt. I hoped to find a way to take the strain off of your soul that mine would be putting on it, but I thought better of it back then, and it would definitely not be a good idea now. I don't want to be bound to anybody else anyway. Just you. I would think that a lifelong commitment would count as something a little bit more than only a short-term romantic partner."
Viktor did not actually think of the word marriage because to him that was something that only people in Piltover did, and that was often an alliance between wealthy and powerful families. But that level of commitment was accurate to how he felt.
Now K is also frowning, in confusion. Viktor's reasons for not wanting to be bound to more people make sense — but making that comparison between a Familiar bond and what's shared with a romantic partner is where he's a bit lost. The brushing has stopped but he's still keeping one of his hands occupied with Viktor's hair, idly curling it around his fingers.
"I haven't ever felt strained by our bond, to be clear. But I'm not sure I understand the last part. Do you mean that without our bond, you would only consider me a short-term romantic partner? I don't consider our bond or our romantic relationship to be short-term... or at least I hope I can have them longer. For as long as you'll let me. For as long as you want me."
This conversation was becoming something that was lost in translation.
"No, just the opposite. Without our bond, I would consider you a committed lifelong partnership. Although without our bond, it would be more difficult for you to know what I am feeling, I think. You asked me to live with you. You haven't asked me to leave, and I don't want to leave on my own."
Living with each other is a bit more meaningful in a place like Zaun. Mostly because you were showing a lot of trust in a person to let them know where you would eat and sleep, Often sleeping around them.
Fortunately clear communication resolves it easily enough. The relief K feels eases his frowning expression back into a smile, and he lightly strokes the nape of Viktor's neck with his fingers as he says, "Then we feel the same way, Vitya. A lifelong commitment... You really want that with me?"
Sharing a bond hadn't been suggested lightly or rashly. K had given the decision the consideration warranted by a connection that could very well be lifelong, if both partners wished it to be. And he still feels it was the right choice. Though with or without their bond, he wants to be with Viktor. For as long as Viktor will have him.
This also raises several questions that he's never found clear answers to. Such as whether the experiences, memories, and bonds they create here in Folkmore can persist outside of it — for some residents who have left and returned, they claimed to retain no memory of Folkmore while outside of it, while others did. Experiences have always varied depending on the individual, but why? And what's the purpose of achieving their 'full potential' here if they might not even remember doing so afterward? (He's long suspected something similar to Viktor's conclusions, that they're brought here to be Lore batteries for Thirteen and help keep this world in existence.) More importantly:
"When you were in your home universe, did you still feel our bond?"
The gentle fingers against the nape of his neck feel like so much more and K would be able to feel that, when it came to a Familiar bond at least, even the softest touch had intensified. Viktor closed his eyes and shivered.
"I thought it would be a lifelong bond from the start. That was part of why I wanted it. Maybe it's a bit selfish to create a Familiar bond so I would never have to be alone again."
Selfish and dangerous for someone like Viktor, who was so thoroughly corrupted by Void magic. But K said that he understood the risks and accepted them. Though Viktor's neck would move and shift as though it were made of muscle and sinew it felt just like cold metal to the touch. He opened his eyes again, and though it did not show on his face, he couldn't help feeling a spike of shame.
"I couldn't feel my own conscience or realize what I was doing to the people in the commune. The bond is meant to be emotional. It would have been purposely muffled or removed altogether by the hex core, so I can not answer your question."
It makes a very grim kind of sense that Viktor wouldn't have been able to tell whether or not their bond was still intact there. From what K could surmise from the shared memories, that universe's Mel and Jayce had been unable to shield Viktor from the blast like they were, and then Jayce had given Viktor's body over to the hexcore to keep him alive...
"I don't want to be alone again either." K brushes their lips together in a gentle kiss, trying to ease that feeling of shame. "I'm hoping our bond is lifelong, no matter where we are," he says, explaining his reason for asking. "Do you know whether you retained your memories of this world?"
Though he's hoping for some evidence that what they share here was able to continue existing even when Viktor was ripped back to his universe of origin, it won't surprise him if the hexcore had robbed Viktor of that as well. If it's at all possible to separate Viktor from the hexcore without killing him... it feels imperative that they find a way.
Viktor was still hugging K but he sighed and leaned his forehead against K's too.
"I don't know if my memories were affected. But they must have been to some degree for me to not realize the effects of what I was doing."
At the very end, both Viktor and Jayce had been willing to die to remove the effects of the hex core on the rest of the world, so it may very well have been what killed Viktor to be without. More likely was that cutting off the hex core from being powered by the anomaly under the hex gates diminished its effects on Viktor's mind but he quite literally can't continue living without being fused with it. The hard part then becomes, knowing which part was Victor's and which part was the hex core's magic. Despite not having much in the way of facial expressions, Viktor was still very needy right now and reaching for the comfort of being as close to K as possible, both physically and emotionally.
"So for you, I might not exist outside of this place," K surmises, unable to hide the heavy feeling of unhappiness that accompanies the realisation. It's a very lonely fate to die alone and unmourned, forgotten by everyone he's ever known. He wishes he could change it. But what Viktor has told him and what he's learnt from others makes him worry he can't, and that ultimately his existence will have meant nothing.
It's far from the first existential crisis he's faced, and luckily he has the experience necessary to compartmentalise it in order to focus on the present. Focus on what Viktor needs from him. Because that, at least, he can do something about. His hand not stroking Viktor's neck slips around his narrow waist again, and he pulls Viktor in tighter against him.
He's heard the rumblings about multiversal travel from some residents. And he's aware of Viktor's own prior interest in the subject, and that's partly what prompts his question.
"Do you want to stay in this world?" The 'with me' is unspoken, but the sentiment can nonetheless be felt through their bond. "Do you think it may be possible to stay together even outside of it?"
Viktor kept his eyes closed, leaning against K and letting him hold Viktor upright.
"I just want to stay wherever you are."
Be it in the dimension that Folkmore was in or another one, Viktor cared less about that than needing to stay close to K. But it was possible to travel between dimensions, and it had been proven already to Viktor that he could do it. Well, he could do it eventually. The hard part was learning how he would do that as an old man. The other hard part was finding out how he was supposed to transport another person because Viktor did not want to leave K behind.
"If that means that I stay here in this Nexus world, then I want to do that. But maybe we can find a way to stay together and travel through the Multiverse too."
Feeling Viktor lean his full weight against him, K holds him securely in that effortless way his strength affords him. Maybe they could go to bed after all, if only to lie together for a while.
K also has experience with travelling between multiple dimensions and even dream realms, though perhaps not quite in the same way that Viktor eventually would. But just as he'd devoted himself to learning quantum physics in order to help a fellow advanced AI with her maintenance, he's sure intentional multiversal travel is only a matter of learning the specifics. With enough time and patience, nothing is out of reach.
Time... that's always been the problem, hasn't it? There's never enough. At any moment Thirteen could fling them back to where they came from, and there's no guarantee they'll be brought back to Folkmore. And for K, it would be as good as a death sentence. Unless maybe together they can change his fate and continue having a life together.
"We've both done it before, so at least we know it's possible on an individual basis. We need to figure out how to stay together." Whether they remain in this world or travel. "I'd like showing you where I'm from, if it didn't involve so much risk... Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go with me?"
"Where I'm from isn't a nice place, so I wouldn't want to take you there. I'd much rather you and I find a new place. Or many new places. As long as we are together that's all that really matters."
The fact that K is an android was the only reason that Viktor actually got close like this. Ever since his body was changed into a mix of metal and magic there weren't many people that Viktor would let close enough to touch him. He sighed right now, and though he did open his eyes he continued looking at the ground instead of looking up at K.
"...I don't need to sleep very much anymore. But it probably would be easier to hold on to you if we curl up together in the bed."
And Viktor did mean just that. He wasn't kidding about hugging K being the first time that he did not feel overwhelmed since he'd been hit in the face by Ekko's z-drive.
Where K's from isn't what anyone would consider nice, either, but for some reason he has a desire to share it with Viktor all the same. Maybe it's a desire to include Viktor in his old life so that Viktor might better understand him, and maybe he also misses the familiarity of the place...
"Agreed on all counts. And let's go to bed then."
Cleaning up after Adele's meal can wait until later. He takes Viktor by the hand and leads him to the bedroom, where he decides to get dressed for bed in flannel sleep pants and a shirt. Even if they won't be sleeping, there's no reason why they shouldn't be comfortable. Turning to look at Viktor, he asks, "Would you like some clothes?"
"I have been wearing only a styled blanket for months. I was only really wearing it for the modesty of others."
After all, he didn't really have anything to cover anymore. He also didn't particularly feel cold but it probably wouldn't feel very nice for K to cuddle with cold metal.
"Yes, I think that I will wear clothes right now."
Viktor changed into a soft oversized shirt and flannel pajama pants. It was passing strange to see himself in proper clothes again, but he crawled into bed first curling up against the pillows. Then when K came close enough Viktor was pawing at him until he was able to wrap his arm over K's waist and lay his head against K's shoulder. Once they were settled Viktor let out a sigh of relief.
"I know that it's probably not as nice to cuddle with metal but thank you for this."
K also makes a contented sound once they get settled in together. Much better.
"I could say the same. I'm only warm to the touch because I'm consciously using my magic to heat my synthetic skin." Otherwise he would be quite ice-cold to the touch, as he normally is by default. "And I only have skin because humans preferred me this way."
And it shouldn't be difficult to guess why. Human preferences and their comfort were always paramount when it came to androids like him. While he's talking, one of his hands finds its way beneath the hem of Viktor's shirt and above the waistband of his pants, where he begins lightly tracing his fingers along Viktor's new skin. Through their bond, there's nothing but feelings of love and acceptance for good measure. He wants Viktor no matter how he looks or feels; Viktor's perceived flaws only exist within his own mind.
"I'm grateful to have you in any form," K says in a softer tone before falling quiet for a moment, in thought. Then: "How would you prefer to look?"
Viktor head moved a little bit against K's shoulder as he looked up at K.
"Really? So you were consciously making your skin warm to the touch for my sake?"
That makes Viktor think a little bit in silence, then;
"What other parts of yourself do you change to try to be more like a human?"
You could probably say that the only thing that is still coming from Viktor's side of the bond is the same bruised love that has been there from the moment he showed K what had happened with his magic. It might be smothering if K was not returning the feeling, although certainly with less emotional damage than Viktor was radiating. K's comment about being grateful to have Viktor in any form was not replied to but it's something that helped his heart feel a little bit warmer. Well. If he had a heart anyway. The sneaky hand that was coming into direct contact with the metal of his body did have purple light following the fingers.
"I don't know if I would want to look anyway in particular. I would like to still look human I think."
"I'm not trying to be like a human. I'd rather be exactly what I am." A monumental achievement represented by such a simple statement. It's taken him years to overcome the shame human society taught him to feel and reach this point of taking pride in his identity as an android. Viktor himself has contributed significantly to K being happy in his own synthetic skin. He may still have some insecurities to contend with, but even those don't feel so insurmountable these days.
"But I think it's more pleasant for you if I'm warm when you touch me," he explains, "and that's something I'd like to encourage more of. I chose to sleep when you used to for similar reasons."
He hadn't wanted Viktor to feel that helping him get restful sleep was in any way an inconvenience — because it wasn't — and K remaining awake while Viktor slept would have undoubtedly given him that impression. These have always been accommodations made of K's own accord.
"With all the magic here, there should be something to help you look the way you'd prefer to. I know glamours make it possible to achieve any kind of look, at least superficially." Speaking of 'looks'. He's smiling as he adds, "And I'd like seeing you in the clothes I picked out for you. I'd also like seeing you out of them."
Viktor may not be capable of much in the way of facial expression but there was a feeling of disgust in the bond briefly.
"No not glamour. That would just be a lie to cover up the truth. I meant to say that if this had never happened to me, I would still like to look human."
With K lying on his back with Viktor cuddled up to his side, K's fingers had found their way beneath the clothes on Viktor's back. It felt like K's touch had been magnified so those fingers were being very distracting at the moment.
"This would be the first time that I've actually tried wearing clothes for months. And to be honest I wanted letting me hold you to be as least uncomfortable for you as possible since I knew that cuddling with cold metal would probably be difficult."
Viktor has always had his own issues with the physical body but now it was a problem of practicality. He had thought that K would be warm to the touch and thus put off by cold metal. He certainly didn't seem to be though. In fact, he was trying to be flirtatious, but Viktor was just hurting too much to flirt back. Instead, he nuzzled into the crook of K's neck where it met his shoulder. His face alone had any level of body heat to it even though it was minimal.
"It still feels like your fingers are touching my soul directly. Like you are touching a part of me that no one else has. I want to know how to touch you like that too. Tell me what you like?"
The disgust is met with a feeling of sorrowful regret on K's end. He should've known better than to suggest it, even if all he wants is to help Viktor feel more comfortable. If it's possible. It may be something that only Viktor can figure out for himself... and K's wary of causing further upset, so for the time being he lets the matter rest.
"I appreciate the consideration, but I don't think you need to worry so much about my comfort," he replies. "Do what makes you most comfortable. Wear clothes if you want to, or don't. Either's okay. And remember that I'm not human." Things humans would find uncomfortable might not even affect him. It's meant to be reassuring, even if the state of Viktor's own humanity is a thorny topic.
"You can touch my soul without even touching me," he says with a small smile as he continues running his fingers along Viktor's changed skin. There's no particular intent behind his touch; simply touching for its own sake, without expectations. Hopefully it can do Viktor some good and help him acclimate to physical interaction.
The feeling was brief. But it's nice that being able to hold K was filtering out emotion unless it had to do with K. There was no need to feel sorrow or regret but Viktor was in no fit state to reassure K about it. Viktor was lying boneless against K's side, now, still nuzzled close to K's neck and taking respite where he could find it.
"It is not just about consideration. I want to know everything about you. You know how a human body would like to be touched. But my body is not like a human anymore."
For Example; Viktor's spine had golden rivets set in the same places that there would be vertebrae on a human body. Except for the area just below where his shoulder blades would be, he now had a permanent corset limned in gold. He had always been on the slender side but now instead of his waist tapering into his hips, his abdomen was smooth below the bellybutton. The joints for his hip bones however had a sort of bizarre ridge to them with the hinge for the joint itself separate from those outer ridges.
Where once he had a constellation of moles on his naked alabaster skin, he now had bits of gold running into long but uniform lines that were asymmetric on each side of his legs and arms. Even his touch would be a little bit different in that it was lit with magic that was coming into contact with whatever it was that he was touching. He hadn't touched anything that would also be able to feel that magic but it would feel like a very low-level tingle.
"You can't mark me with your teeth anymore but I might still be able to mark you. Would you like something like that?"
After considering the proposal for several moments, K ventures a cautious, "Maybe...? Would you like that?"
The uncertainty doesn't stem from disinterest so much as his mind being elsewhere, still perpetually circling back to those chilling words: what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor? K's worried about him, not about acting out fantasies that he suspects have more to do with unmet emotional needs than physical desire, anyway.
"But you also don't need to worry about those silly fantasies. Just having you here is enough."
Viktor still had that fear, but the fact that he had enough self-awareness that could actually be afraid of something like that did say a lot about how factual that fear really was. Without it being fueled by the anomaly under the Hex Gates, the Hex Core did not have the kind of control over Viktor's mind that it did. Being able to touch his bonded Familiar was helping him cope with that fear if only because that fear seemed to lose strength the longer that he was able to touch K.
"Would I want to mark you as my own, you mean?"
There was a little rill of excitement in the bond. But as with every emotion that did not have to do with K personally, it was short-lived.
"Only if you want me to. I will admit that it would be nice though."
Short lived though it is, the feeling of excitement certainly catches K's attention and draws a smile from him. It seems it's something they could both enjoy, then. And it's rather nice, hearing Viktor refer to him as being his own...
"I don't bruise easily, you might have to get creative." He assumes that would be preferable to outright injuring him in order to leave a mark, and since Viktor's made it clear he won't use his magic on him, K won't suggest it. It also has him considering ways he could still mark Viktor without actually hurting him (and K allows himself a moment or two of missing Viktor's prior body), and he recalls, "I did give you a ring, before..."
Before Viktor vanished back to his home universe. With how long it's been for him, K figures a reminder about the gift wouldn't go amiss. He's been thinking on the other things Viktor said, too.
"How would you like to be touched now?" he wonders. Does Viktor even know, himself? K thought their earlier exploration had gone very well when it was happening, as well as what they're currently doing, but it couldn't to ask while they both have clearer heads.
Truthfully Viktor had not remembered the ring until K said something about it. After he was reminded he intended to wear the ring at all times now. If nothing else it would be a consistent reminder of his own humanity.
"I did like that ring. It might be a good idea if you made a second one for you to wear too. That would neatly solve the problem of leaving a mark on each other's skin."
Despite having a metal body Viktor did still have a sense of touch. It was muted though and there was a sensory deprivation between what touched him in the outside world and what he felt.
"But I don't know how I would like to be touched now. There aren't very many people that I would want to touch or be touched by in the first place."
Viktor wants him to get a matching ring for himself... there's no hiding how much the thought thrills him. He's careful not to read too much into the suggestion, knowing marriage likely means different things to them; notably, he doesn't think polyamory would be compatible with the kind of relationship he'd prefer to share with a spouse. But matching rings would still be a very meaningful gesture, symbolic of the bond they share and belonging to each other in that way.
"I'd like that." As though it wasn't already obvious. "And we can figure it out together. I think touching you has gone well so far?" To emphasise his question, his fingers dip just below the waistband of Viktor's pants to trace over his altered hip.
Marriage does mean something different to Viktor, namely that only people in Piltover do that and a lot of times the richest people would only do it as a kind of political alliance. In Zaun, things were a lot more informal and people would only live together instead of getting married. It was more common that people would only cohabitate with one other person but at times it would be a very tight-knit group of people that would decide to live with each other.
The idea behind Polyamory is that everyone in the group cares about each other which is why it didn't bother Viktor that Jayce loved so many people. Viktor only cared that there be a place in Jayce's heart for Viktor, and it didn't matter to him who else was there too. But K has learned that it is neither easy nor fast to get to a point where Viktor does care about you, and even more difficult to get to the point where Viktor does love someone, whether they love other people too or it's just one person. To put it bluntly, without Jayce the possibility of Polyamory was most likely off the table.
But for some reason, the idea of matching rings made K very happy. Viktor didn't quite understand why that would be the case but it was nice to please K? This was also about the same time that K's sneaky fingers brushed gently over Viktor's altered hip. Now that he certainly felt and couldn't help an indrawn breath and a shiver.
"You keep finding new ways to touch me. It really doesn't seem fair that you haven't taught me how you like to be touched too."
The only thing better might be Viktor giving him the ring himself, but either way, K's genuinely happy he wants them to have matching rings in the first place. Though perhaps he's attributing more significance to the suggestion than Viktor intended it to have, if he's confused about how such a meaningful (in K's mind) gesture could bring K happiness.
His curious exploration has already paid off judging by Viktor's reaction, and that also incites a little thrill of excitement in K that can be felt through their bond. He'd been entirely serious when he said that what he likes is the way Viktor touches him... and now he has to think on his reply, because he isn't sure he can offer a better answer than that.
"I guess I'm not sure how I like to be touched, either. It hasn't come up before. Not before you asked." Or at least no one to his knowledge has expressed interest in learning his specific preferences the way Viktor has. Maybe people incorrectly assume human biology or physiology can apply to him and that there's no reason to ask, or maybe they haven't wanted to overstep perceived boundaries, or in one case he doesn't want to think too hard about, maybe they hadn't minded one-sided intimacy. There could be any number of reasons.
"But maybe we could figure that out together, too."
It initially confused Viktor because he thought of them as married (as K would think of it) already. K had asked him to live in his apartment, and he had not asked Viktor to move out nor did Viktor leave on his own, which probably would have constituted a divorce as K understood it. A glimmer of Viktor's old humor was able to peek through as he smiled against K's neck.
"Well, the only thing that I have to go off of is what would feel nice for a human. You will have to show me a different way for you."
Having said that, Viktor reached out to take one of K's hands and pull it back to his chest by the wrist. Once K's hand was resting against his chest, Viktor let go of his wrist and pushed his hand underneath so that K's hand was sandwiching Viktor's between his hand and his chest.
Touch-starved as K is, it doesn't take much to make him feel good. Simply being close together like they are right now does wonders; there's a steady thrum of contentment on K's end of the bond, essentially the emotional equivalent of a cat purring. And now with the possibilities that interfacing with each other brings, especially in combination with the effects of their bond, their imaginations are the limit.
"I'll enjoy learning with you." He squeezes Viktor's hand beneath his and there's a smile in his voice. "Thank you for caring this much." Reconnecting like this has been good, he thinks, and he hopes that no matter what the coming weeks may bring, they can keep holding onto each other.
"Along with matching rings, there's also things like henna," he suggests, still thinking about ways they could mark each other since it's something they both seem to like. "Ink used to draw on skin. For yours, a metallic ink would look good..." And he certainly isn't opposed to receiving love bites, as Viktor suggested, regardless of whether they leave lasting marks.
It's entirely out of affection that Viktor is cuddled tightly against K's side. The mirrored affection on both sides allows him to filter Viktor's other emotions, for which Viktor is endlessly grateful. As such, there isn't much in the bond right now beyond affection.
The soft kind of warmth that would usually be in addition to another stronger kind of emotion. But Viktor wasn't kidding about feeling overwhelmed. The warm feeling of affection was so strong, it was bordering on adoration. Viktor himself may have a fear of being still merged with the hex core, but since it cannot fake human emotion, this would be a direct denial of it still having influence over Viktor's mind. Viktor's metal thumb is feathered back and forth underneath K's hand right now.
"For caring this much? Hasn't anyone asked to learn how you like to be touched before? And as I understand it, henna is a temporary mark at best, so I am not sure that it would be what we're looking for in this instance."
"It hasn't come up before," K repeats, a little more solemnly this time. "You're the first to ask. Even if you weren't... thank you for caring enough to." The truth is, he doesn't have much experience with physical intimacy, period, and only some of it had been positive. He'd been left to assume his past partners had probably just preferred intimacy with their other partners over him. Understandably, in his mind, because who would ever choose an android if they had other, better options?
The shared affection radiating through their bond makes it easier not to dwell on past hurts. That Viktor is able to feel this way about him to begin with is very heartening, for a variety of reasons. The most significant one being that this feels like further proof that Viktor's mind is his own.
"Bruises are also only temporary. You want something permanent?" he asks, surprise plain in his voice. Matching rings are a more suitable choice in that case. This particular subject is likely to lead to pleasant daydreams in the future as well... at least until he's right back to worrying about Viktor.
"Matching rings are permanent enough. You don't know what kind of touch you would like, do you?"
If he was the first to ever ask about it, K may not have thought of this before. It certainly would explain a few things, including why K always seemed to focus on touching Viktor whenever they had been intimate. Right now Viktor leaned in and kissed K gently but with an edge of passion. Lifting his hand while keeping K's over it, he first laid it against K's neck.
"Before, when my body was different, you talked about marking my neck or my hip, so let's start there."
K's body was humanoid enough that maybe things like lightly stroking the skin of his back might also feel nice. Or just cupping his cheek. Viktor very much doubted that K was ticklish but he planned to touch him lightly all over and see if a particular area seemed to feel better than another.
Edited (added a sentence, sorry) 2025-03-06 21:39 (UTC)
With so much weighing heavily on K's mind and heart he has trouble shifting gears as easily, though he does gratefully return the kiss, enjoying the feeling of closeness it brings.
Even on a good day focussing on his own pleasure wouldn't be easy for him, with his primary concern being that his limitations will disappoint Viktor and make him feel as though his efforts are wasted on K; he was intended to facilitate others' pleasure, not experience it himself... Everything combined still presents a mental hurdle for him.
"You don't have to," he says softly. "Today has been..." It's difficult to even put it into words. He sighs in lieu of finishing the sentence. "And the last week. The last year, for you. You're allowed to rest. Just let me hold you for a while."
For a moment Viktor looked away, though he kept his hand on K's neck. He was speaking just as softly as K had been.
"For a little while I want to stop thinking about everything that's happened in this past year. I want to focus on something else. Something nice."
Now when Viktor looked back at K there was a level of pleading in his iridescent eyes.
"I know that I don't have to. I want to. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but I would want to explore you just to find out what feels nice. It could be something as simple as just rubbing your back, or running fingers through your hair. It doesn't matter, I just want to feel closer to you."
Though he thinks there may be better ways of distracting Viktor, he doesn't want to give the impression that he doesn't appreciate Viktor wanting to do something nice for him, or doesn't want Viktor touching him, since neither could be further from the truth.
"I've only experienced either as a cat," he says with a slight smile. And he always enjoys it, so there's no reason to think he won't also enjoy it in his android form. He keeps his clothes on for the time being and adjusts his position so he's lying more on his side, giving Viktor better access to do as he wants.
Viktor only took a moment to scoot closer, so he pressed chest to chest with K and he was still speaking very softly.
"I just need to keep touching you. But...but it would be nice if you wanted to touch me too?"
He stayed gentle as he moved the one hand up to run his fingers through K's hair, slowly from the crown of his head down to the nape of his neck. Viktor had to loop his arm under K's to be able to touch his back as well. He was a little slower with that since there was a longer sweep of his hand from just under his shoulders to the small of his back.
"I've only got what would feel nice to a human as a frame of reference. What are your suggestions for what would feel nice to you?"
Initially K remains still, the better to concentrate on the sensations of being touched and how it makes him feel. It's so rare that he lets himself be the center of attention like this that he can't actually recall it happening before now, at least not in his android form. Gradually he arches into Viktor's touch, not so unlike how he does as a cat, clearly enjoying it, and also obliges the request by reaching up to run his fingers through Viktor's hair in turn. One of the only parts of him left unaltered by the hexcore.
"This feels good," he murmurs as he then trails his fingertips along the curve of Viktor's cheek.
There's the unique sensation of expanding awareness as their minds connect on a technological level again, initiated by K. Not with the intention of transferring any data this time, but — just to feel the connection, and take comfort in it. A level of connection not possible among humans.
This, too.
Even if it can't fully distract him from the sense of gnawing dread, it does help take the edge off it. At least Viktor is safe in his arms for the time being.
Actually, Viktor's hair has been affected. On the back of his skull, that's become a mix of metal and magic, his hair now grows out white. But that's only at the bottom, and the rest of his hair is the same brown color it's always been. The sensation of K's fingertips touching his face is surreal since no one has done that before except maybe Jayce. It's more intimate than he thought it would be.
I've never communicated this way before. But if it feels nice for you, then I want to learn.
Letting his hand drift aimlessly, he circled underneath K's shoulder blade onto his bare shoulder. Since he has been altered, he has only touched other people with the tips of his fingers. So when his palm makes contact with K's bare skin, he can feel the current of energy running down K's arm. There is an echo of his own palm touching K's arm on his arm as he does it. Slowly and carefully, his palm follows that feeling of energy until it stops at the edge of K's tank top.
Just as before, the more skin to skin contact they share, the stronger the recursive sensations become; the full press of Viktor's palm is like a rivulet of feeling becoming a river. It draws a soft, encouraging sound from K. At the request, he disentangles himself enough so he can sit up and tug off his shirt, then he's gently touching Viktor's face again as he leans down to kiss him.
Viktor responded to the kiss hungrily, eager for even the smallest part of making K feel nice. As soon as he could, his palm touched K's shoulder and followed it to the area just under K's collarbone.
I can feel your energy. I don't know if it's your inner power system or just the way that your magic spreads throughout your entire body.
It felt like different branching paths coalesced closer to the center of K's chest. From collarbone to clavicles, Viktor's touch remained light but still in contact with K's skin. What had been a ghostly echo was now something that felt so real Viktor would have sworn that the identical touch was slowly tracing across him too. But just the touch of a hand did would not seem to feel as if warm tendrils of energy were connecting the closer that Viktor was getting to the center of K's chest.
The lingering warmth left in the wake of Viktor's touch makes K feel as though, if his body were capable of it, it would be glowing in those places the same as Viktor's could now. The warmth slowly spreads of its own accord as well, and perhaps it is his own innate magic reacting to Viktor's, attracted like a magnetic force toward each other. As far as he knows, his magic stems from his altered blood and so in a practical sense, his magic and physiology could very well be one and the same, intrinsically intertwined.
He's still cupping Viktor's face with one of his hands, stroking his cheek with his thumb. It's helping to anchor K. As is so often the case with Viktor, it would be only too easy to lose himself in the shared sensations. But right now, he prefers to remain more present in the moment, taking in everything that's happening.
I think it's reacting to your magic. You can feel it too?
I don't know if it is reacting; I've never felt this way before.
Since they didn't have to talk with their mouths and neither one needed to breathe, they could continue to kiss with no interruption. Viktor shifted a little bit so the palm of his other hand could also touch K's bare chest. Magnets being attracted to each other made sense because Viktor had the urge to be as close to K as he could, which is why he wrapped one of his legs over K's thigh. His free hand moved to be in the center of K's chest and the echoed feeling was so strong that Viktor made a little half-swallowed sound into the kiss.
With one hand directly above the other, it was like something closed the circuit and just the smallest rill of magic glittered between Viktor's hands and from their up his arms and into his body. Like a stone thrown into a pond, ripples of light emanated from his shoulders down to the rest of his body.
Whatever I just did, please don't stop touching me.
The thrill of sensation when the circuit is finally completed causes a shiver to run through K as he sighs into the kiss. Whether it's their combined magic, a more technological connection, or perhaps an amalgamation of everything he can't really say, because he's never felt anything like this before either. Not even the effects of the Familiar bond during intimacy have felt quite like this.
You're glowing.
He hasn't actually looked down at Viktor's body to know this — he can feel it. And he can feel it even more strongly once he nudges Viktor's legs farther apart and presses their bodies closer together, the light material of his flannel sleep pants unable to conceal the effect everything is having on him. Particularly when he begins moving his hips against Viktor's in a languid concession to pleasure. Still cradling Viktor's face with one hand, he runs the other along as much of Viktor's body as he can reach, the request to keep touching him releasing K from any hesitation he may have felt. Maybe this is what they both need right now.
The mix of magic and technology was unique and maybe only possible for people like K and Viktor. K's free hand had traced its way down Viktor's side until his fingers could sneak under the waistband of Viktor's pajama pants and run gently along the ridge where Viktor's hip met his thigh. That made Viktor moan into the kiss, and everywhere K's skin came into contact with Viktor's metal body, it would glow with the magic of the Familiar bond touching itself. The glow was even following the path that his fingers were taking on Viktor's hip.
More. I want to feel more of you.
To that end, Viktor's legs curled around K's waist, pulling him closer. Even though that practically put K on top of him, Viktor didn't care. Both of his hands slipped around either side, and once they aligned again with one over the other on K's spine, that same little thrill of magic glittered between them.
[ It's been a minute since he's heard from Viktor. Arthur knows the man has the tendency to isolate himself and engross himself in his work. Now that Arthur is starting to understand the timetable of Folkmore he figures there isn't much time before some other Trial begins...better to check on Viktor before the chaos ensues.
So he messages the other man on his Relic not looking for any particular timetable for a response-- just that one comes. ]
[ No. He is not alright. He might be as far from alright as it is possible to be. ]
Something...happened to me. The time difference of how long it's been here in Folkmore, and the fact that it's been a year for me outside of it is just one of the many discrepancies.
[ Well, Arthur laid a truth bomb on him. So this would just be Viktor returning the favor. ]
The magical artifact that I had been studying but had since I watched it kill someone I had decided that day to have nothing more to do with it. I made my lab partner promise me that he would destroy it.
He didn't.
In fact when I regained consciousness, what I thought would be that same day, he had explained that he had fused it with me in an effort to save my life. We had worked together since we met in school together but I was devastated by what he had done, so I broke all ties with him and walked out of our lab that day.
From what I have said about the undercity, or Zaun, I am sure that you can imagine the squalor and poverty there. With the new ability to use magic that I had my first impulse was to help as many people as I could. So I found a way to make clean water and clean soil so that there was enough food growing for everyone and I healed as many people as I could.
But what I didn't realize until later was that by healing people's bodies I was taking control of their minds. It wasn't until my chest was destroyed in a magic blast that I came to the conclusion that at the root of all our problems was human emotion. And all those people that I 'healed' became both a hive mind and one that I entirely had control of. So I made all of those people into my personal puppet army of automatons.
It wasn't until much later that I learned the truth of what was happening to me. I was systematically giving up more and more of my humanity because unknown to me at first, the magic that I was making use of wanted to sterilize the entire world of all life. And I was helping it do just that. When the real horror of what was happening connected with the humanity that I was reminded of in the end, I chose to die in order to use a kind of sympathetic magic to unmake the magical anomaly that was fueling the Hex core.
I did not expect to survive. Much less be transported inter-dimensionally.
[ It's certainly a bomb. It takes a while for Arthur to process the text, he reads over it and each time he does it makes the situation more clear and horrifying. While he can't be in Viktor's position he can say that he understands the sense of responsibility to other people and their well-being. ]
Viktor.
You were trying to do the right thing. I believe that.
People...things...entities take advantage of people who want to help others. I know you're going to hold yourself responsible and maybe to a fault--
But I'm glad you're back and not dead. I'm very sorry.
[ Honestly, Viktor thinks that being dead would be preferable to this. ]
I hold myself responsible because there is always a choice when using any magic. It would be easy to blame everything on the hex core but it is more complicated than that.
Power corrupts, whether it's exterior or interior. Maybe a bit of both. But what you can't forget is your intention-- what you were trying to do before all of it got away from you.
[ It's... difficult to say or convey. He knows the other man's emotional wounds must be raw still, his guilt feeling never-ending. Some days he can still picture some of the faces of souls he judged who he wasn't so sure of. ]
If it's complicated it's going to take time to feel through.
Maybe it can be undone? Could Thirteen have been trying to show you something she was also trying to prevent?
[ You wouldn't know it Arthur but there was a bit of a scoffed laugh at that. ]
No. For all her ability to do whatever it is that she likes in her own pocket reality, she has no control over what happens in the rest of the multiverse and time travel into and out of it.
The only question I have now is how much the hex core is still affecting me and whether or not my being brought to a Nexus world at the intersection of many different universes is a good idea when I don't know if it's possible for anyone to kill me should that become necessary.
[ His world isn't magical nor is there healing as a readily available power for most people outside of hospitals. Viktor's world seems to revolve around magic as a chaotic element. ]
You said the people you helped became a hive mind. I'm sure those were people you spent time with-- it doesn't sound like your humanity was just taken, it was exploited.
[ Funny you should mention healing, because when you had a lifelong disability and chronic disease, there really isn't very much that could be healed outside of using magic and even when he was experimenting with it Viktor didn't understand until it was too late how much damage it could do. But Arthur is correct about magic being a chaotic force and one that did not concern itself with things like morality. ]
...my emotions have been overwhelming to me since I spent nearly a full year systematically losing them, but if I think too much about it, I feel so much regretful sadness. I knew every man, woman, and child by name.
[ Gods, there were children in his commune. ]
...and now... Now I don't know what to do to make sure I'm not going to hurt anybody.
[ It's hard to perceive the difference in time considering Viktor's absence has only just been noted for him. It couldn't be a Trial-- just something Thirteen casually decided on a whim, it seems. It's cruel, to let residents nest here never to know when they might be flung straight out of Folkmore and back to their own world.
Arthur has heard of these occurrences before but never of someone coming back in a worse state. What could possibly be the purpose?
Is there one? ]
Are you worried the same thing will happen here as back home?
[ In Viktor's case, at least, it makes perfect sense why Thirteen would bring him back to Folkmore in this state. He was a threat to his own world, and his invention of hextech had the ability to span many worlds in the multiverse. He was terrified of the magic using him as a conduit to sterilize all life. In a pocket reality, the amount of damage he would be able to do was limited since, right now, the only check on his power was a psychological one. ]
I was already tricked into doing so once, who's to say it won't happen again?
Edited (fixed a word, sorry) 2025-01-31 00:33 (UTC)
You're one of the most intelligent and resourceful people that I've ever met. I'd say if you're determined for it not to happen again then it won't.
You have people here who want to help you too.
[ Not that he's trying to drag Viktor back into society after such experiencing not only such a drastic shift in time but also something terrible. Arthur feels for his friend even if he doesn't know how to demonstrate it just yet besides listening. ]
Anyway you know this place. It's rare that what you expect to happen actually does. Thirteen has her plans.
You do have a point there. It's improbable to the point of being impossible that what you expect to happen ever does.
I will still be dependent on other's moral compass. What I thought was just following a logical thought pattern turned out to be horrific. I could recognize the horror later but while I was making the decisions that led to that horror I couldn't see where I would have gone wrong.
That's the harsh reality of the place. The easy-to-earn currency just seems to be a perk.
Most people don't possess that level of hindsight either. Just... keep your spirits up even if it doesn't feel like the right course of action. I think the people that know you would say the same-- you don't come across as someone who has the intent of harming people.
[ That...sits a little strange with him. Arthur wonders if he has any real authority saying something like this but he ultimately decides to send the message and hope his intent comes across rather than any though of him being a questionable source. ]
[ Did he need anything? Like the moral center that had been a part of Viktor for as long as he could remember? Like the ability to make sense of the emotional chaos that was his in his head, the same way that everyone could make sense of their own emotions? The assurance that if he was taken over by the Arcane someone would be able to stop him? Viktor needed a lot of things. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Gift delivery from K!
There's also a signed note from K wishing Viktor a pleasant holiday season. ]
Backdated to Christma's Eve | Action
Jayce knocked on the door of the man's home, held a wrapped box with a bow on top in his hands, and waited. They hadn't had an easy year, and he wanted to start anew. And also to make sure that Viktor wasn't going to freeze to death before they find a way to improve his health, hence why Jayce got him a new coat. He couldn't even remember seeing his friend with one and doubted the man even owned a coat. ]
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So it's with some surprise that he finds Jayce at the door to the tiny house. Not the least of which is because he had neither brace on nor his crutch. To be fair he wasn't expecting anyone tonight, either. ]
Jayce? What are you doing here?
[ It's not asked in a mean way but as though Viktor was honestly confused. ]
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It's the holidays, dummy. [ He said it with a teasing smile, not unkindly. ] I came to bring you a present to celebrate.
[ Jayce lifted the wrapped box and shook it a little in front of his friend to make it even more noticeable. It was a good surprise that Viktor was in his actual home for a change but the surprises didn't end there. Jayce's gaze dropped to the other man's empty hands, then his braceless leg, and his mind supplied that Viktor was standing on his own really well for someone who hadn't been able to do that in over a decade. ]
V? Your leg doesn't hurt? [ The confusion was evident both in Jayce's voice and the look on his face. ]
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"Come inside. I think it's time I showed you something."
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"Okay, ehm. I'm going to...leave this here." He places the present on the nearest flat surface so his hands are free. Jayce feels a bit fidgety all of a sudden, concern making his brows draw together.
In the weeks he's been here, he's been studying medicinal plants and all sorts of magic books, trying to find some cure to help Viktor. It would be logical to assume that maybe Viktor has been doing the same now that he has direct access to those same resources. Perhaps that's it.
"What it is?"
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Right now he does take a fortifying breath and released it through slightly parted lips and raises the black glove in front of himself. Methodically he loosens each finger of the glove then finally removes it entirely. Beneath it is the metallic stone his hand has become. It looks like metal or fractured reflections of everything around him but it moves with the same liquid grace that the skin over his hand had always moved with.
"I...I have been experimenting on myself with the Hex-core. My leg was the first alteration I've made."
This came later. And came with too high of a price. It was still hard to talk about this, harder still to talk about this with Jayce of all people. Because at the time right before he had started down this path they had argued. Viktor was angry. And Viktor had lied by omission.
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The tension in Viktor's body is evident, even if he would probably look relatively calm to any observer who hadn't known the man for over a decade. It makes Jayce think about their last conversation overlooking Zaun's outskirts, about how they had forgotten what really mattered, how they had failed to help others. There had been a lot of things left unsaid between them; Jayce, too, had his own secrets that he desperately wanted to tell Viktor but didn't know how. Now is the time to speak some truths. The confusion and surprise on his face at the revelation are impossible to hide. His eyes darted from Viktor's hand to his brown eyes and back down again.
"You exprimen-- But, how? We never designed anything with runes that could cause transmutation. Did the Hex-core do it on its own? Or was it some sort of accidental rune arrangement? Wait, your leg is like that as well? Oh, that's why you can stand without the cane.
His mind is going a mile a minute, and Jayce needs to pause for a moment to put some order to his thoughts and focus on one important thing at a time. Part of him is fascinated, and the other is concerned about what kind of magic could do this.
"Does it hurt?" The question is soft but sincere because that's his main worry. He is processing everything, but he doesn't want to give Viktor the impression that he is freaked out by the change. Or not as freaked out as Jayce is actually feeling.
"Can you still feel everything like you did before? Is it just your hand and leg, or does the purple keep spreading?" Without thinking, Jayce reaches out to touch the hand, then stops himself. A slight frown crosses his features, and the silence stretches between them one more time. He drops his hand. "The Hexcore isn't here. This happened in our world, and you didn't tell me."
'You didn't trust me enough to tell me', is what Jayce meant, and the realization hurt. He looks away from Viktor's face, head bowed, and his gaze lands on the man's leg, but not quickly enough. Viktor still had time to see how his eyes had already shifted to a cyan blue.
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"It's alright, you can touch it. And no, it doesn't hurt."
But if he did stop now, it would still be letting that lie stand and he knew that would only be because he had been a coward and not as a salve to Jayce's feelings.
"I told you what my friend said...but that wasn't all he said."
Viktor swallowed hard. Lies fester but the truth, while it may cut deeply, always cut clean. This was the first difficult hurdle.
"He said that 'nature is resistant to change but luckily we have the means to change our nature' and gave me a small vial of Shimmer. I saw the way the Hex-core reacted when my blood was on the desk with it. So...I changed my blood."
Meaning he had not just drunk the Shimmer but injected it straight into his bloodstream.
"I can still feel with the hand, but my fine sense of touch has now become muted since it changed. And it hasn't been changed for very long. But I don't think the purple is spreading."
It was an experiment after all. Viktor didn't really know what side effects might happen.
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He met Viktor's eyes again when the man offered his hand, and reached out to touch it gently, his thumb brushing over the back of the hand and its knuckles, studying the valleys and ridges. He let curiosity and fascination win over worry for a few moments. For some reason, Jayce expected it to feel colder, more metallic, but it did move like Viktor's natural hand.Â
"It feels strong." He pressed the flat of his palm against Viktor's own, Â hands held up against each other, tilting his head to look at them. Viktor's mention of his zaunite's friend got Jace's focus back on him again.
"You also never told me his name." That alone was strange, if not suspicious, but now Jayce knew why. If he had learned back then what Viktor planned to do, Jayce would no doubt have had reservations. At the mention of the drug, something cold and unpleasant settled on Jayce's stomach. Nothing good ever came from Shimmer. "You could have died, Viktor. Suddently. You know what that thing does to people. How the addiction eats them from the inside out. And you used your blood?  If this hadn't worked..."Â
He shifted his fingers so he could entwine them with Viktor's and gave his hand a squeeze, taking in a shaky breath. Viktor's health was bad enough that he probably thought he lost nothing by trying, and Jayce understood that. It didn't mean knowing all this was any less scary or upsetting, and his eyes remained a steady blue.
"At least it's not going to take all over your body," Jayce muttered, then frowned at his own words. "Unless...that's what you wanted? Could this have cured you completely? It seems like it comes at a high cost."
Ah, if Jayce only knew the full story.
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Viktor felt odd about Jayce essentially holding his hand, but did not pull away. The changed skin was still warm to the touch but it also felt solid like stone. At the comment, Viktor actually strengthened his grip just a bit to encourage Jayce to look at him. And when Jayce did, Viktor's expression had gone from tense to haunted.
"Though I didn't realize how high that cost would be until recently or that I wasn't the one that would pay it. Heimerdinger was right. It must be destroyed."
It was ironic in that Viktor had been prepared to risk his own life, but was punished for his own hubris in thinking that it was just his personal risk alone.
"And it wasn't the Hex-core that cured me. That didn't happen until I was in Folkmore."
In illustration, he took in a deep breath, then exhaled without coughing. And strictly speaking, it wasn't a cure because it wasn't his lungs that were repaired. Probably not the best time to bring up the detail that he would die quickly unless Baphomet did regular upkeep.
"But it's more important that you keep your promise. Please Jayce."
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"You gave your hand, your leg, your blood. Was that not enough?"
It's a stupid question, Jayce knew the moment he took a good look at his partner. There was something else eating away at Viktor, something haunting that cut deep. He could tell because Jayce had that same look on his face every time he thought about the Shimmer raid. The next words, though, brought him some comfort, and his iris turned a rich yellow.
"You are fully cured now? Did someone with healing magic help you?" If so, Jayce had someone to thank profusely. He found himself smiling, his eyes a little wet now, after seeing his partner breathe without issue. "It's amazing, V."
He didn't know how things worked once they left Folkmore, if they would be able to keep some of the bonds they gained, Jayce only hoped that would be the case for Viktor. He let out a shaky breath of his own and nodded. "Yes, I'll keep my promise. Once we're back, I'll destroy the Hex-Core."
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"Several someones tried to use healing magic on me, but none lasted for more than a few hours. The first time I found Baba Yaga, I also spoke with Baphomet."
The change in Jayce's eye color was profound and a little bit surprising. Certainly, Viktor had expected him to be pleased but not that pleased. Still, Viktor couldn't help having a small smile in response to it.
"It's not exactly a cure. Baphomet had some type of magic to create flesh constructs and that was what he did to me. The trade-off is that my own lungs were in too bad of a shape to be usable. So he replaced them with what I'm using now."
Viktor lightly shrugged.
"I don't know how long they'll last, but since it is likely I would be dead soon without this sort of intervention, I'm grateful for the quality of life I have over the length of time it gives me."
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"I know Baphomet. I'll have to thank you properly." His eyes were only getting brighter now, closer to actual gold than simply yellow. This Legend's trait was a bit embarrassing, and fairly inconvenient. Jayce couldn't conceal his actual feelings, but that matters little now. What was important was that Viktor would be all right, for now.
"Oh, okay." He looked taken aback by how Baphomet managed to somehow replace Viktor's whole lungs to cure him, and was silent for a couple of moments before speaking again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so curt. It's a lot to take in at once, it's all. Magic new lungs, that's...wow. But yes, it's very good, Viktor."
He knew that magic could help people, and had tried to prove that all his life, but Jayce could never have imagined something like this before. The prolonged stress and anxiety of the last month and a half were all too much now that it was over. Jayce's free hand rose to brush at the wetness he could feel pooling at the corner of his eyes, and his breath was a little shallow. He gave Viktor a shaky smile, irises still bright gold, and used their connected hands to pull the man into a tigh hug.
"I'm so happy you're okay, Viktor. I don't know what I would do without you."
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But after a moment Viktor let the awkwardly hovering hand come to rest against Jayce's back. It was probably for the best that Jayce wouldn't be able to see the pink blush staining Viktor's cheekbones like this. Usually, Viktor didn't care for being touched, though it was mostly well-meaning people trying to take the cripple's arms. So he didn't know that casual touch could feel so...nice.
That didn't count what Jayce had said when he pulled Viktor into this hug, either. That alone would have made Viktor blush but coupled with the hug and Viktor was left speechless. All he could do for the moment was stand there in silence and hug Jayce back.
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Close like this, there was no way Viktor missed the way Jayce's heart beat quickly, like a trapped hummingbird trying to escape its cage. It calmed somewhat when he felt Viktor hug him back, and Jayce's whole body relaxed. He let out a low, soft sigh, and tilted his head, his cheeks pressing against the top of his friend's messy hair. He didn't think about anything for some long moments, simply basked in the relief of having Viktor here with him, safe and on the way to recovery. It was something they couldn't have back home.
He knew that Viktor wasn't fond of being smothered, and after another minute or so, Jayce slowly leaned back to give him space. There was a small smile on his face, and Jayce's own cheekbones were flushed, but that could be blamed on the fact that he still looked a little teary. Viktor hadn't said anything before, and now it was Jayce's turn to be at a loss for words.
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Viktor felt a bit odd about actually hugging Jayce. It didn't feel bad...just odd. Then again it had rarely ever been anything but the two of them working alone in the lab so Viktor hadn't really thought anything about Jayce's easier time with showing his emotions. To him, that was just Jayce. Viktor had never thought that expressive emotion might get turned on him. Certainly, Viktor had thoughts that it might feel nice when Jayce turned those expressive emotions on others but those thoughts were always quickly dispelled by the reality of his own body and later the much more urgent problem of his own impending death. It was something of a surprise to realize that wasn't something he had to think about anymore.
There was a moment of Viktor looking at those tear-filled eyes that seemed to stretch for longer than any moment should...and then Viktor lost his nerve and glanced furtively away.
"Um. You said you actually had a reason for coming here?"
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When Jayce looked at him, the blush was impossible to miss, and he gave the other man a silent, fond look. That blush brought a funny feeling to Jayce's stomach, even if he couldn't put his finger on what it was. He didn't bring it up, only admired the unusual view before Viktor averted his eyes. There had been something, Jayce thinks, a Moment with capital 'M', passing between them when they stared at each other. A moment when he felt there were important, unsaid things clinging to the air, but it had gone away quickly. Later that night, once Jayce is back in his own apartment, he will replay the events in his mind, thinking about if he's missing something he should know.Â
"Right, yes. I did. Let me just..." Jayce stood to fetch the present and brought it back to Viktor in a matter of seconds, leaving it in his lap. Inside the box there was a dark burgundy coat with a few small copper pieces of metal in the cuffs and lapels to give it an extra elegant touch. "Happy Holidays, Viktor. Come on, open your present."
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He was actually mildly pleased it was a gift that was something functional. He didn't fully have a grasp of this holiday and he wasn't at all sure it wasn't meant to be frivolous as part of 'the Holiday Spirit'. He had a small smile as he lifted the coat partially out of the box and saw that there were metallic accents at the cuff and lapels.
"It is very nice. Thank you, Jayce."
Viktor turned his small, pleased smile onto Jayce. Then his look turned thoughtful.
"I have something for you, as well, but it's not really a gift. More a token of remembrance."
And from just his pants pocket, Viktor drew out a tiny gear. It was recognizable as one of the little parts of the first model Hexgate they had ever used as their proof of concept. He held it out, cupped in his flesh hand toward Jayce in offering.
"It's meant to be a reminder of where our dream started. So we don't risk losing it again."
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The paper gesture was so very Viktor that Jayce couldn't help the fond smile that spread over his lips at the view. If anything, it made the present feel more relevant somehow. He was even more pleased when Vitkor, ever the practical man, seemed to really like the coat.
"Ah, welcome. They figured it couldn't hurt to have something to keep you warmer. The days had gotten incredibly cold as of late." That was a pretty and rare smile, and Jayce felt the funny feeling in his stomach come back with renewed force. What a silly thing.
He hadn't expected Vitkor to get him anything at all, didn't think it was the man's style, so when a little present was offered, he took it as if it were something precious. And precious it was. Jayce recognized it immediately.
"I can't believe you kept it. You, softie." Jayce teased, his smile bright and happy, as he held up the gear. "I'll get a chain so I can wear it as a necklace. It's a good reminder."
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OOC: [ Helpful Link to the Log ]
[ Set shortly after Valentine's day | Action ]
He was still nervous about sharing that last bit of information with Viktor, but he wanted to tell him the news as soon as possible, since he had no plans to keep it a secret.
Jayce gathered the finished blueprints for Rio's new giant aquarium tank and went to find Viktor at his desk, probably working on Cobb's new arm. ]
Viktor, do you have a moment? There's something I'd like to tell you.
[ Going by Jayce's tone of voice, slightly nervous but still upbeat, Viktor could probably tell it wasn't bad news. God knew they had enough of those this month. ]
[ Set shortly after Valentine's day | Action ] Also doing prose;
Viktor looked up from what he was doing to regard Jayce, though, who seemed to be nervous but excited about something? Viktor set aside the thin screwdriver-like instruments, not wanting to accidentally make a mistake on Cobb's arm while he wasn't paying attention.
"I can take a moment, yes."
Oops right, prose is great o7
The view of the half-eaten roses filled Jayce with amusement and resignation all at once. By now he had realized that no amount of flowers brought to Viktor would catch his interest in a romantic fashion, but they would absolutely draw Rio to them in a 'new snack' sort of way. That alone was enough for Jayce to keep bringing flowers every now and then. it made Rio happy, so by extension, it also pleased Viktor.
"The arm's looking good. I'm glad we took on this project, not only is it useful for Cobb, but we've learned a lot about this new technology." That's not what Jayce wanted to talk to Viktor about, he knew he was stalling, but it was true that the arm really was progressing wonderfully. OKAY, focus. , Jayce told himself, taking a deep breath.
"Have you heard about the Familiars bonding with Myths and Legends? Â When there's mutual acceptance and understanding, a special kind of connection."Â
Not unlike the connection that already existed between them, but perhaps better defined, more clear for all the participants. Myths and Legends couldn't bond, however, at least not as far as Jayce knew. But that was a thought for another time.Â
"K and I the other day...we chose that connection, that kind of personal bond. I just wanted to let you know."
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"I've heard that a bond was possible and that it was apparently quite intimate, but I've never known how it was meant to work. I do know that this bond also helped Legends control their emotions. Which, no offense, you do need help with."
Viktor tilted his head quizzically.
"Does this mean you'll be sleeping with K? He's been sad lately, but that might help improve his mood."
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"It's very personal, at least to me. I don't plan on establishing any other familiar bond myself, and I'm glad that talking to K helped to make our feelings clear." Jayce could feel his face start to get warm, but this was a much-needed conversation, in his opinion, even if Viktor was both very blasé and blessedly accepting about the whole ordeal.
"As for how they work, I don't know if it changes from person to person. I can tell when K is feeling strong emotions too, I can sense his soul. And my senses warn me sooner now if he's in some sort of danger or distress."
The mention about how he needed to control his emotions earned Viktor a slightly offended pout, but Jayce didn't find it in himself to argue against it (Hard to deny the truth, embarrassing as it could be).
The following question, however, had Jayce's cheekbones go from 'barely warm' to 'actively looking like a ripe cherry' in a matter of seconds. He knew the answer, of course, but for a few mortifying seconds, Jayce stood there, opening his mouth with no sounds coming out of it. Then rubbed his nape in a nervous gesture and tried again.
"No, we're not sleeping together. Not like I wouldn't like to! But I emh...I don't know if K is interested in sex at all. And sex is not necessary for a relationship, either, at least to me. "
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"Well, has he stopped you from touching him in a certain way before?"
Touch had never bothered Viktor, but he still had a pretty low opinion of himself in the first place and that opinion usually colored all of his interactions with Jayce. It would be worse if Jayce knew of Viktor's romantic feelings for him but would still think of Viktor as a kid brother; something that just needed looking after, of protecting because Viktor is too fragile to look after himself.
"I could see that kind of touch being interpreted as possibly too sexual."
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For now, all he could do was answer Viktor honestly.
"No, he did not. But allowing someone to touch you is not the same as giving express permission. I'll have to talk to him about it and ask K what he really wants." Jayce is all too aware of the way people in K's world had abused and mistreated him and his kind, and he refused to treat K with anything less than kindness and respect. The fact that he would also happily sleep with K if asked was irrelevant, or so he told himself.
Viktor's last words made Jayce's expression fall slightly.Then he tilted his head, looking at his partner with curiosity. He was tempted to take a step closer but restrained himself.
"Is that...is that what you think when I touch you?"
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This had opened up a very difficult subject to navigate. If he admitted to liking the fact Jayce had never been shy about physical contact, even if Viktor absolutely could be, would that then mean that Jayce would get awkward about doing it now? Viktor had a moment of wondering if he should lie and hope to keep the same working relationship they had always had. But lying had only compounded problems or created new ones, so it was deemed as not worth it. A muscle tightened in Viktor's jaw before he spoke.
"Sometimes. Not always."
There. Make of that what you will, Jayce.
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He didn't want to stop touching Viktor, is the thing, but he also didn't want to make things awkward between them. In the end, it was not his choice to make, and in part, he was grateful for that. He took a step closer, looked down between them, and brushed his hand against Viktor's before meeting the man's eyes.Â
"Do you want me to stop?"
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"...no. I don't want you to stop."
And just maybe Viktor's hand did risk moving then. Maybe a single finger returned that caress to one of Jayce's fingers, only the touch was feather-light. Maybe there was also a moment in there when their eyes did meet and Jayce had a moment of seeing the intensity in Viktor's.
But in the end, it was only a moment and a fleeting one at that.
In an effort to keep himself from blushing and thus giving himself away, Viktor checks a very distinctive pocket watch that he didn't have before Valentine's day. Nor did he have the remains of a dozen roses.
"I made a resin cast of the new robotic hand. It should have hardened enough to be ready now. I wanted to add small neoprene pads to the tips of the fingers for better touch control."
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"I don't want to stop either." His breath caught in his chest when the light touch of this hand was returned. It might have seemed small to an onlooker, but it meant the world to him. It made Jayce think: Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...Maybe there was a chance for them. Jayce's eyes light up again, another flash of gold as their eyes meet.
It felt all too brief.
When Viktor looked away and inspected his new watch, the spell was broken Jayce looked away and cleared his throat. He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and then looked at the arm, trying to concentrate on what Viktor was saying.
"You are doing a fantastic job with that arm. Cobb will be pleased. I've been working on the system to turn on and off the cooling system, to make the switch as small and intrusive as possible. And I've also finished the desing of Rio's aquarium tank ."
Jayce left the blueprints on the worktable and leaned to inspect the arm, curiosity piqued. He wasn't simply praising Viktor when he mentioned that his partner did a good job, it was the honest truth. There was something else that got Jayce curious.
"That's a really beautiful watch. Is it new?"
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"Yes. Inanna gave it to me on our date for Valentine's day. He's better at celebrating an Earth holiday than I am, I think."
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And now there was that lovely blush on Viktor's cheek again. Jayce was getting very fond of the view. Of course, once it was clear why Viktor was blushing, he paused and blinked in confusion.
Date?
Valentine's day date?
For a very, very brief moment, Jayce's eyes flashed green. He frowned, but it didn't last more than a second, and thankfully, Viktor was still looking at the watch. Then he felt ashamed of himself for the brief pang of jealousy and for being this selfish after Viktor had accepted his bond with K so openly.
Inanna was a good man and an even better friend. Someone who was understanding, sweet, protective, and witty. Someone who would look after Viktor and make him feel special and loved. Once Jayce faced the facts, it wasn't difficult to feel happy for them.
"That was very sweet of him, I'm glad you had a good time. I didn't know you were dating. It's good to hear he's treating you well." Jayce also had no doubt that Viktor would be just as good for Inanna as well, and the goddess deserved some real appreciation after everything he had gone through.
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"He made it very clear that we weren't going to be exclusive from the beginning, but I don't know if he's dating anyone else. As smart and magical as he is I would not doubt it. But I'm not dating anyone else right now. so while not exclusive it is just us."
The last part was said with a bit of a shrug.
"I haven't been capable of things like dating before, so this is all still kind of new to me. It's nice though."
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Part of Jayce can't help but feel bad that he was too late, that now Viktor had someone who made him happy. He would not care for anyone else in that same way. That was it until Viktor clarifies that they were not exclusive, prompting Jayce's eyes to get bright gold again.
"Oh, you're not? I see...of course, right. Whatever works best for you both. I mean. That's...that's great to know."
Jayce was babbling He was aware he was babbling. Jayce couldn't stop babbling. He could, however, try not to smile like an idiot. The keyword there was 'try'.
"You deserve these things, Viktor. That kind of happiness."
I wish I could give it to you.
voice; un: pickle
I obviously don't want to get your hopes up. Divine spellwork isn't an exact science and I don't know what sort of disease/toxin is messing with your body beyond what I heard. But I wanted to reach out to you in case you might want to go through with it.
Let me know either way! If you don't want my healing, maybe we can be friends.
Voice, un: Machinist
Audio | Un: Talis
Audio | Un: Machinist
[ Or worst case scenario, Viktor would be dead. But Viktor honestly didn't think that would be the case. ]
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[ The prospect of losing Viktor or Baphomet is driving Jayce a little bit insane, but life decided to be a bitch to them all. ]
It's your decision in the end, Viktor. I'll support you no matter what you choose. But I can't deny that I'm afraid.
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[ ...Viktor that doesn't really help. ]
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[ Viktor, oh my god. Jayce's voice cut all of a sudden at that because now it doesn't help at all. When he manages to find his voice again, it sounds small and strained. ]
Please don't say that.
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Why? It's just the truth. A difficult, maybe even painful truth, but still the truth. It's not one that I particularly like either but not facing reality for what it is makes things so much more painful later.
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I know! I...know. But we need to still cling to hope too. Back home, we thought you had almost no time left, then we came here and things got better. Somewhat.
[ There's a pause before Jayce adds, voice low. ]
I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to.
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I'm sorry, Jayce, I know this is hard for you to hear. Believe me, if there was another way, I would go that route, instead. But there's not. This is only possible because of Baphomet's abilities, and I've only continued being alive thanks to him. as difficult as this is, it's the only way.
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I understand. [ He does, really. He just hates that things had to be like this. ] Could I be with you when Baphomet does the switch? He says it's safe; I know he's done it before, but it still sounds scary.
[ He wants to be there for Viktor no matter what. ]
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...yes. I would like that.
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Then I'll be there.
Text: J.T.
Are you in pain?
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... I get headaches sometimes. They are well controlled from continuing to take cannabis though.
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I thought that after getting a new body thanks to Baphomet's magic your health was no longer at risk.
Do you know what is causing the headaches? Is it stress? And what's cannabis?
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Ah, that. It's good to know its name. [ Even if Jayce has no interest in the plant, he can see why others might find it beneficial. It's the 'getting high' part that doesn't sit well with him. Viktor can't see him frowning, and this is exactly why he decided to go by text replies. At last, he has confirmation that his partner isn't interested in that. ]
I see. That's very informative. Thanks. [ And then, because he has to ask or he will be thinking non stop about it; ] Aside from the headaches, is there anything else? Any other pain or...?
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[ Jayce can't see the exasperated fondness on Viktor's face, either. Though it's probably for the best that one can't see the other ]
I've noticed that on occasion with K, too. I want to see if fully immersing him in the Encantado river might help him with the migraines he's been experiencing since it's been a healing agent for those that have had their forms changed into something monstrous.
But other than headaches, no I am not in pain.
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[ Of course, Jayce is now trying to find options and solutions, even if he's not sure what the problem is. That's just how he is, he needs to try and do something. ]
If that river is so powerful, you both should soak in it. I can't go there easily since I am often unable to cross Exile.
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I think that anything else, be it Mel's magic or the Encantado River, would only be a temporary solution.
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Yes. I really thought this was over.
[ 'This', being Viktor in pain. At risk. That's why Jayce is upset, his partner was hurt, and he's once again not sure what to do about it. ]
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I'm sorry, Jayce. This was why I didn't say anything. I didn't want to cause you to worry.
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[ It is not Hawke's fault for mentioning it, either, the conversation simply turned that way. ]
You know me, I always worry. Kind of an expert on that, actually.
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[ Knowing the difference between others worrying about his safety and him being the source of their stress is something that Victor still struggles with. ]
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That said, I'd rather you tell me when you're not feeling well.
[ If Jayce can't fix what causes the pain, at least he wants to try and help to offer some comfort. ]
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[ Over the years he's been less and less able to hide it from Jayce, but that doesn't stop him from trying. ]
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It's a difficult thing, I know. No one probably likes to talk about these things. And I know I can get a bit too much of a mother hen sometimes too, I'm sorry for that. Just want you to have a good, happy life.
[ Preferable free of pain, if possible. ]
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Do you think that I'm not having one now? I've dreamed all my life of being able to go do simple things that other people do, like walking.
[ Like dating. ]
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[ Dating is very good. ]
Since walking is on the table, what do you say we go a step further and try going dancing?
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[ Viktor's kneejerk reaction is to hide, but if Jayce wanted to do it... ]
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[ He wants to dance with Viktor, he doesn't need an audience to make his partner uncomfortable. ]
It was nice when we did it at Tony's party, on the balcony.
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[ You can't see it, but he did smile and blush a bit. ]
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[ Pity, he would love to see it. ]
text (around the holidays) - un: cloud s.
You probably don't know me
I'm the blond guy who would be at the Forge sometimes. Ive seen you around
You're Jayce's [What? Partner, friend? More? They seemed pretty friendly, lets go with that] friend, right
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Yes, I know who you are.
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Sorry
This is stupid
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I can't agree or disagree because you haven't said what it is you are texting me about.
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fair
I guess I just want to know if
Jayce going back home is a
good thing
for him
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I suspect that if we both don't remember our time in Folkmore that breaking point will be surpassed.
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Sorry to hear it
Nevermind then
Gifts for Viktor
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"Thank you for the figurines. But you never need an excuse to see me, I always enjoy your company."
Viktor gives K a sincerely warm smile.
"Although I will admit that I have been spending a lot of time measuring the PH balance of the hydroponic garden."
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"I hope you like them," he replies, his smile becoming a bit shy. Even now he still doesn't expect his efforts to be acknowledged, so it's a welcome surprise each time that they are.
"And I've noticed. I wouldn't mind spending more time at the garden with you." There are always things to check on there, tasks that need doing, the expected work that comes with maintaining such a big communal garden. And he's happy to help out beyond dealing with things in Wintermute. "Something concerning about the pH?" he wonders.
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"It's not a concern about the P H balance, but any hydroponic garden needs to be regularly tested to make sure that the P H balance in the reservoirs is optimal. It's even more important when the garden is being filtered by a fish pond. Otherwise, algae and duckweed could start to grow."
The lilypads and blooming lotus flowers were already well established in the pond itself but Viktor wanted to keep the reservoirs in the garden free of plants that could steal resources from the ones that were already growing.
"I...would like it if you would stay longer than it takes to drop off the battery unit from Wintermute?"
This means that Viktor noticed the small detail of the battery being present in its slot. He kept a smile. He also made no secret of his affection for K. He did hope to see him more often. With time the bond on his end had gotten a little more distant. It was nothing against K, Viktor liked him very much, it was only that Viktor was a somewhat shy and indrawn person. It had happened without his knowledge. He wasn't kidding when he said that he would like to be in K 's company more. He did feel like he never got to see him and so it was natural for Viktor to hide, especially from something so intimate (that he felt like he didn't deserve) as a Familiar bond.
"How has the amulet been working for you? Are you still having migraines? "
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"I can help with that testing. And maybe I can expand the small garden I have there." Not that he needs excuses to be there and to stay longer, but he likes feeling productive, keeping his hands busy. He wants to be useful. "If you feel up to playing tour guide, you could also show me around the place now that everything's established."
Maybe he can surprise Viktor with some picnic lunches too. He knows how his friend often forgets to eat, and K figures he shouldn't let his cooking skills go to waste. Mutually beneficial.
For an android who still struggles with the concept of being a person and everything that entails, bridging that growing distance between himself and Viktor is not something he readily knows how to do, though he can sense its existence. Perhaps it was inevitable, he thinks; the only constant in his life has been losing everyone he comes to care for, and it may be that an artificial being simply isn't meant to share such a bond with a real person. It wouldn't be the first time he's fallen victim to Thirteen's cruel tricks.
He seems distracted as he continues to pet Adele, but surfaces from his troubled thoughts to answer Viktor's questions.
"It's been working as you intended it to. It helps significantly," he explains, reaching to pull out the amulet from where it's been resting beneath his layers of shirts. Of course he's wearing it. He gives Viktor a meaningful look. "I'll always be grateful. That you did that for me... it means a lot to me."
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But upon hearing that K did derive continued benefit from the amulet made that bond on Viktor's side grow a little warmer. It wasn't gone and it wasn't something that K would have to bridge any gap to find. It was still there. It just needed to be dusted off a bit so that it wasn't hidden anymore.
The idea of a picnic inside the garden hadn't occurred to Viktor but he would be charmed if K just showed up with one. The feelings that Viktor had been trying to dismiss whenever he was around K weren't gone either. But Viktor had been very stern with himself and resolved not to push any of K's boundaries until such a time when or if he chose to instigate it and not before. After all, Viktor was as new to this idea of polyamory as K was and really didn't know what he was doing at all.
"Good. You are not beholden to anybody, which includes me. I just wanted you to have the freedom to make your own decisions."
text @polaris
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I have only had one alcoholic drink that was sweet enough for my taste. If you have an entire bar then perhaps you will know another?
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I've got a lot of choices so yeah, I'm sure we can figure something out.
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I can't speak for what those variants of the drug are doing to people who use it for recreational purposes, but just trying to inject it rather than turn it into something to be smoked or swallowed makes it much more painful.
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Seems like scientists have a habit of making things that end up going badly for a lot of people.
...no offense.
Well she's not wrong XD!
haha right? arcane season two proving science may ruin everything
Then come down anytime you're free. Nothing here is spiked with anything anyone doesn't want and I'll even throw in some food.
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For Adele there is a code attached that Viktor can redeem for a gift for the small dragon be it some food or a toy. ]
Viktor,
Thank you for your friendship this year. I hope you can find something to do with this. Please get Adele something nice as well.
-Arthur
More gifts for Viktor c:
On the evening of the 24th, a couple wrapped gifts are left out for Viktor: one box contains a page of handwritten sheet music as well as a recording of K playing it (backup upload in case), and a smaller ring box contains an elegant handcrafted ring with a circuitry and gears theme meant to represent their connection — a brilliant engineer and an android. A mechanism within even makes the tiny cogs turn when the ring is worn.
Unannounced but still intended as a gift to Viktor is the walk-in closet filled with nice winter clothing in Viktor's size, including a new cat-themed scarf to replace the other K had given him before. K has enjoyed seeing Viktor wearing his own sweaters, so he isn't going to mind continuing to share, too. Now Viktor just has more options, plus ample room to expand his wardrobe in the future should he wish to. ]
text; un: giftshopist
I've been so curious about this gift you sent me over the holidays, and I can't stop thinking of all the possibilities! Is this for a project you're working on? Is there more I should know? I'm buzzing to help however I can!
Also - thank you, of course!
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Is there a reason you're putting this together in the first place? Or is that top secret?
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If the ideas of one universe could be implemented in a completely different universe, imagine the possibilities. The knowledge that could pass between them could save thousands. Or it could mean protecting a single important person. Even simpler things like the arts could become distributed far and wide in more than just one universe.
[ It could be absolutely wonderful...or it could be a horrific Pandora's Box. ]
Since it involves one reality interacting with another it would have to be something that's done with just energy. In the world that I am from there are two things that can be perceived by us humans but is still able to be in many universes at the same time. We call it the Arcane but it's really just a kind of magical energy. The catch is it could be incredibly dangerous if the wrong person used it. The whole planet of Runeterra, where I am from, was very nearly destroyed by it in the past.
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I wonder if Thirteen would let it happen too. It would have to bypass her magic here, wouldn't it?
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[he's not even being sarcastic]
When Viktor returns from his canon update...
So when he feels the essence of their bond suddenly thrum back to full strength, his heart is in his throat as he drops everything he's doing and quickly follows it to where he hopes to find Viktor, scarcely able to believe what's happening. Viktor actually came back to him? His Viktor?
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But it was not his death. Instead, he was fully conscious but in a weird sort of limbo state. When he became aware of his surroundings they had turned into a foggy swamp, one that he recognized as being Exile. Things that he had known and somehow forgotten or they were mixed up with what the arcane had done to him and hadn't seemed important. Knowing what he now did, he could see where he'd been led around like a bull by the nose ring and felt sick at it.
He didn't even look remotely human anymore, instead standing like a tall creature with insect-like joints and glowing holes in his mask. A mutation on his design for the hex claw sprouted from his back, this one was much thinner, much more prehensile, and it created a halo made of runes behind his head. The staff that he'd been using since he left Piltover was still in his hand though notably without the anomaly held in the top.
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"Viktor!" His voice is strained, thick with emotion. "What happened to you?"
In an effort to avoid fully sinking into the tar-like muck he tries to keep moving, though it's becoming increasingly difficult. He wasn't prepared for a trip into Exile. But his eyes never leave Viktor's altered form, and he has to wonder what it means. He'd left Folkmore. Maybe this isn't Thirteen's doing.
1/2
"...K."
When he spoke even his voice was warped. But you could still hear the man inside the monster. A man who was in terrible pain. Drawing the arm back in, it was as though K became suddenly weightless and was lifted free of the sticky muck.
Instead, Viktor looked at the emaciated arm that was stretched so much that it did not look human at all. He balled the fingers into a fist and this time when he dropped the arm down to his side light seemed to surround him in strands and shimmering threads. They appeared to come out of nowhere but the bands of light were crisscrossing all around Viktor to create a glowing orb. More and more strands were added until Viktor was entirely obscured.
2/2
"... The magic... The void. It's changed me."
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"I didn't think I'd get to see you again," he manages once he finds his voice, summarising what had been a week of hell for him. It obviously doesn't begin to compare to what Viktor has gone through, he can tell that much. How much of Viktor is even still there, he wonders as his heart sinks. The Void.
"Are you still... you?"
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"I don't know."
Without the effect of gravity and nothing else providing any motion, K was only an inch or two away from his feet touching the ground. Viktor raised one of his hands as though he were going to reach out and touch K, but the touch didn't connect, and Viktor's hand hovered between them.
"... I can't do it. I can't dissolve a Familiar bond. I know that I should, that it wouldn't be safe for you to be bound to me. That I have been responsible for so many awful things. That I don't deserve a Familiar bond. But I can't make myself do it."
The silent tears were flowing in earnest now.
"I am sorry that I'm too weak because it means that you will have to."
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"There's always been risks, and I accept them. Let me help you."
It seems apparent that Viktor could benefit from having their bond now more than ever. Using their joined hands as leverage, he pulls himself closer to Viktor and with his free hand begins reaching toward Viktor's face. But he pauses, withdrawing his hand to wipe off as much of the swamp-muck as possible on his coat, uses some of his own magic to warm his chilled skin, and only after that does he cup Viktor's cheek in his hand, gently thumbing away tears as his uncertainty gives way to warm sensations of comfort and love gradually filling their bond. Regardless of what Viktor feels he does or doesn't deserve, K's love isn't conditional.
"Don't discard me," he says in a small voice. Like a broken machine that's served its purpose and is no longer useful. It's a dreadful thought. He takes some comfort in the knowledge that bonds can't be forced; their bond only persists because they both still want it.
"Will you tell me about where you've been? You disappeared last week." Viktor's hair is given a curious glance. "It looks like it's been much longer for you."
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"I'm an awful person and I can't make myself stop wanting to be close to you."
Taking the hand that was cupped gently against his face, Viktor held both against his chest, head tilting just enough to rest his forehead against K's. It's a Zaunite way to show affection for another person, but there is no way that K would know that.
"But I think it's been almost a year since I was in Folkmore. And as far as telling you what happened, I can show you instead."
Parts of his fingers lit up and traced toward K's hands. Only because K is a machine does Viktor try using his magic on him because he would not be infecting an organic human.
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This particular Zaun custom is universal enough for K to understand the meaning and he smiles at the gesture, gently squeezing Viktor's hands, relieved that he doesn't keep trying to push him away. But they're going to have to talk about whatever it is that has Viktor convinced he's a bad person. Before he can ask what Viktor means, he feels a telltale sensation not unlike what he experiences when interfacing with other technology, except — it's Viktor.
A unique connection both technological and magical is established, offering Viktor a firsthand glimpse into the vast intricacies of K's programming and all of the coding that makes him who he is. Readily available at a surface level are his manufacturer's serial numbers, model serial number, incept date, and other such indicators that he's a product of the Wallace Corporation.
K's eyes flutter when the connection is initially made, then he looks to Viktor in surprise. "That's new." And something that he'd like to explore more — later. When he next 'speaks' it's through their connection: I'm ready.
As ready as he can be.
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Viktor reaches up to gently clasp both sides of K's temples and instead of using his fingers, the custom of gently touching foreheads in order to show affection carries over. But the information exchanged is computational like a data packet. It's everything that Viktor had seen and felt over the course of the last year compressed into a type of code that had more to do with the runic script than something like binary. Starting with his first death of many during the rocket attack on the council room.
The growing distance between Jayce and Viktor came to a breaking point when first Jayce used the hex core on Viktor. Then within a few minutes of realizing what had happened, he was going to pick up Sky's notebook and saw that Jayce was designing a rifle for use with hex tech. Viktor had been devastated and had never been very good with emotions. So what did he do when the one person he had cared about and trusted most broke his promise? Viktor shut down. It was then that the idea that human emotion was a danger first occurred to him.
After Viktor left, his first impulse had been to use the magic he now could to find a way to help those at rock bottom after a life of being so badly mistreated, abused, and forced out to the very fringes of the city. His vision had been idyllic. From clean water to enough food for everyone, and an end to sickness. But the fatal flaw in that was the loss of differences of thought or personality, of 'imperfections'. Eventually, they became both a commune and a hive mind. One that showed the truth of what it was when Jayce was the one to kill Viktor for the second time.
Only then did things start to show themselves as being as dark and lonely as Viktor's soul had become. While he was still being influenced by the hex core he came to the decision that human emotion was the true problem. After he tried to partner with Jayce again and was forced out of the council room by the combined energies of Jayce and Mel, Viktor felt stunned that they would both go against him like that. Stunned and heartbroken. It was then that he decided to give up his humanity. Which explained why he had looked the way that he had at first since that was the way that he had last looked in the 'real' world.
But at the very end when he was literally a hair's breadth away from sterilizing the entire world, a boy that he had not met before, but one who obviously knew him, through a device at him that defied every law of physics that he knew. Defied and when the device made impact, did the impossible and actually penetrated the Herald enough that it could turn back the clock on the humanity that Viktor had given up.
In the very end on the astral plane when Jayce hugged him and Viktor could see into his memories enough to see the old mage who had first inspired Jayce all those years ago was actually another version, an older version, of Viktor. The older version claimed that he wanted to bring an end to the world's suffering and was going to do it with science. But when every equation was solved, there was nothing but fields of dreamless solitude, which meant that this version of Viktor was functionally immortal but was also alone forever because he was being used by the arcane itself. Human emotion is necessary because it informs our conscience. And without emotion? There was no conscience at all. Now that he understood what had been happening to him, Viktor was completely horrified.
Horrified enough that he was willing to do the one thing that he was afraid of most; dying alone with no one to remember him. But Jayce didn't let him do that by himself. At first, Viktor did not understand. He still doesn't entirely understand, not really. But he understood that it was something that Jayce had to do for himself as much as for Viktor and so Viktor expected to die alongside Jayce in order that they could use sympathetic magic to close the anomaly under the Hex Gates.
But all those people. When I evolved them they never came back. They were just soulless husks. That is why I am a terrible person.
Now Viktor was certain beyond doubt that K would despise him.
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Though he witnesses events from Viktor's limited point of view, he has the benefit of being able to parse everything from an outsider's perspective. An outsider who happens to know Viktor and his way of thinking very well, or he'd like to think he does, at least.
"'You were being manipulated the whole time... The hexcore was using you."
Is still using him? Is it the only thing keeping him alive now? The questions are clear in K's expression as he looks at Viktor and his altered form. Jayce had made that choice for him against his explicitly stated wishes, betrayed him to save him... and K can't help wondering what he would have done if faced with the same circumstances. It's painful to even think about, but he can also understand why Jayce chose what he did, where Viktor is concerned. Continuing to weaponise hextech after promising not to is another matter, one that he isn't sure he'll ever know the full story on. He wishes Jayce was still here.
Contrary to what Viktor is expecting from him, K simply leans back in until their foreheads are touching again and then gathers Viktor into his arms, holding him tight. He knows it's more complicated than blaming Viktor's choices and actions entirely on the hexcore's influence. He knows some of Viktor's guilt may be warranted and that he'll have to live with the weight of that for the rest of his days. He knows, because they're not so different. Only the government-sanctioned executions of K's own kind that he'd been ordered to carry out never held the guise of truly helping anyone, not in the same way that Viktor had originally tried to aid and uplift those in dire need.
"I'm so sorry for what was done to you," he murmurs. "And all of those people." K's feelings toward humanity may be complicated and rarely positive, but Viktor's pain matters more to him than his own. And it doesn't take having an empathic bond to tell how much Viktor is hurting right now. K fully intends to keep the promise they both made — as long as they have each other, neither of them has to be alone again. He wants to be with Viktor. That hasn't changed.
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As much as he didn't think he deserved it, Viktor couldn't help feeling pathetically grateful that K had not pushed him away in disgust. After all he had done and been through, he did not know how he would have coped with that because he couldn't think of a way that he could possibly kill himself. Realistically speaking that would have broken his mind entirely and he would probably spend the rest of his days in a catatonic state.
"It would be easy to blame it all on the hexcore. But there is always a choice that goes with any use of magic."
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Is the hexcore still exerting its influence even now? How much of Viktor's mind and will are truly his own?
"Your good intentions were insidiously weaponised." Not unlike what happened with hextech, he thinks. Though he doesn't disagree with what Viktor said. "It would be different if you'd set out to subjugate people from the beginning. I could feel what you felt," he says quietly as he leans his head against Viktor's, wishing he could do more for him. "I know you wanted to help them."
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That is an open question. How much is the hex core affecting him? It is what has been keeping him alive all this time, and even if it's possible for him to live in Folkmore without it, it's not possible to separate it from Viktor at this point. Even before he ever came to Folkmore he was experimenting with it added to his blood and body.
For a few minutes, they stay that way Viktor just leaning his forehead against K's while keeping his eyes closed. He didn't realize it but being in physical contact with his bonded Familiar was soothing. But after a few minutes, he did seem to realize where they were. They both had cold swamp muck on their feet plus K's coat and the hem of Viktor's robe.
"Is it...is it all right if I go back to your apartment with you? We're both covered in mud and need to wash that out of your coat before it sets."
Viktor wasn't in any position to lay claim to anything, much less where K lives.
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"Of course it's all right. You live there too." Finally releasing Viktor, K turns away for a moment under the pretense of taking in their surroundings to orient himself, and uses that opportunity to discreetly swipe at his stinging eyes and compose himself. "If you still want to," he adds before reaching for Viktor's hand again, so they can start making their way out of the swamp.
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Viktor still thought he didn't deserve K either but he was still holding on to K's hand in one of his and the second hand clinging to K's wrist. Knowing where they are going, Viktor's magic still keeps K weightless and is creating shimmering places everywhere that Viktor's feet touch the ground because otherwise, he would sink into Exile's muddy swamp too. Small and unassuming Adele was waiting until they had started to leave. But she is aware of Viktor's distress though she was hoping that by staying back and letting K talk to Viktor first, it would help. Now she flies down from the branch she was sitting on to land on Viktor's shoulder. She cuddles up close to his neck and rubs her tiny cheek against his like a cat in an effort to comfort him.
His magic remains until they get to Epiphany. K is able to walk now if he wants to, but Viktor is still clinging to his hand and wrist. Even once they were inside the apartment, Viktor was still clinging. Even when K takes his coat off Viktor is standing right there while he does it and then once again clinging to one of his hands. He follows after wherever it is that K leads.
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Even if he can understand the reasoning. They have a long journey ahead of them to undo the damage of the last year for Viktor, K can already tell. If it even can be undone.
He sheds the dirtiest of his clothes near the door to be seen to later — boots, socks, coat, and after a few moments' consideration, his pants as well, since they're caked in mud up to thigh level due to how much he'd struggled in the swamp. Less to clean up later if he's not tracking mud through the whole apartment. He lets Viktor cling; it makes it easier to take care of him. He also pets Adele, grateful for her presence. Hopefully she can help Viktor, too.
Leading him to one of the bathrooms, K starts a shower running before he gets a closer look at Viktor's attire. Viktor's own memories will serve as his guide for helping him remove the makeshift robe without damaging anything. But after reaching to start undoing the bindings around Viktor's waist, he pauses.
"Would you like me to help you?" he asks. "I'll use the other bathroom if you prefer privacy." With the drastic changes to Viktor's body, K isn't assuming he's going to be comfortable with all of the same things as before. Best to ask first. Everything feels uncertain and strange right now and it makes him nervous. Is Viktor intending to move out as well?
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"No please stay. I don't want you to feel hurt, so for your sake, I will say that I live here too."
His robe is actually a blanket that K will have seen in his memories as the same blanket that Jayce had laid across Viktor's shoulders. Viktor hadn't thought he would ever see Jayce again so he kept the blanket as the last reminder he had of Jayce. It had been styled along with the straps at his waist by Huck in the commune.
All of his body had become that mix of metal and magic. One very noticeable difference in how his body looks is the bizarre ridges on his hips and a noticeable lack of any genitalia whatsoever. What had been a hard corset to create an artificial spine for him had become a permanent part of his body, and now, it looked like he had a permanent corset tipped in gold. The only part of his body that was actually warm to the touch was his face. The rest of his body was a cold type of metal. It meant that the mud on his bare feet was just as cold as the metal it was stuck to.
Adele had her tail curled around the back of Viktor's neck, though she didn't need it to hold on, she was staying cuddled up against his neck even as K led him into the shower. Adele actually liked swimming and otherwise being in the water, so she wouldn't mind taking a shower too.
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The shower is spacious enough that not even two people and a diminutive dragon in it at the same time makes it feel crowded. The hot water does most of the work of rinsing away whatever swamp muck is left on them, but K still opts to lather up with soap and thoroughly scrub himself clean, wishing his worries could be washed away as easily as the mud.
It's automatic, the way he turns with the intention of washing Viktor's back for him, but before his hands can make contact he pauses to ask, "Is it okay if I touch you?"
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Adele glided down to the floor and spread her wings in the shower spray like a bird, flapped them a bit, then held them up again as she got both of her sides under her wings wet. She shook water off of her head like a dog would and when Viktor's hair was rinsed he flew back up to sit on his shoulder, but this time facing K.
"Yes, it's all right if you touch me."
When K's hands make contact with Viktor's bare back, there's a sharp intake of breath from him and purple light that glows in the crevices and gaps of Viktor's new body wherever K's fingers touch.
"It...feels like you have somehow reached inside me and touched my very soul when you touch me."
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And as before, K experiences an echo of the sensations as well. It's immeasurably comforting to know that aspect of their bond has remained intact during Viktor's absence from Folkmore. As drained and emotionally raw as K's feeling he can't quite muster the playful curiosity he'd shown before when he'd experimentally pinched Viktor's nipples (which can't happen now anyway, he realises with a little melancholic pang), but he does note with interest that the connection has possibly become even more intense. And there's glowing...
Being mindful of that, K is careful to keep his touch light as he works soap over Viktor's back and begins washing it for him with gentle, massaging motions. Adele is also given a soapy-handed pat to her head.
"Is it too much?" he wonders.
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The truth was that it had felt good and it also added to Viktor's feeling that he didn't deserve a Familiar bond. He was too emotionally traumatized not to feel like anything that made him feel good was something that he didn't deserve right now.
Adele is a little unhappy about the soapy hand that left a soap bubble on her head. She flew down from Viktor's shoulder to put her head in the shower spray. Then she shook it like a dog again and flew up to sit at the top of the shower stall out of reach of anyone but still able to keep Viktor in sight.
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Right now the glow is following where K's touch goes and goes dark again when K's fingers move on. Viktor has a shaky exhale, not able to help leaning back just a little bit into K's touch and closing his eyes.
"I don't know if it's a new effect of a Familiar bond or the fact that I can't make myself not love you even though I don't deserve you, but it feels like you are touching my soul."
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"And I don't feel good enough for you," he quietly admits, "but it hasn't stopped me from loving you. I think your soul is beautiful."
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Viktor turned around in K's arms. Trying to swallow another moan at the amazing feeling of K's chest touching his and not doing very well at it.
"You are a machine that nevertheless imitates a living human perfectly and you are far more humane than many humans I have met. You are already perfect. My soul is a twisted, damaged thing. But if it's something you find beautiful then you can lay claim to it."
Having said that, Viktor did lean forward enough to kiss K.
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And K finally does allow himself to give into the heat of the moment, kissing Viktor back with urgency as his hands find their way to Viktor's hips, his fingers tracing along the ridges and grooves, testing how it feels to grip them now. Viktor has always felt so terribly thin that at times he's worried about inadvertently hurting him, but now the curious combination of magic and metal that comprises his body diminishes some of that concern. And he knows Viktor is far stronger than he looks.
Soon he winds one arm around Viktor again, wanting to keep their bodies pressed together as they are. Even if it makes the physical state of his arousal inescapably obvious. But maybe it will help Viktor to know K still wants all of him regardless of the changes he's undergone. Viktor's words, though... Perfect. He can't wrap his head around being thought of like that. The words also hurt, that Viktor sees himself that way, even as they touch deeply buried desires within K that before this moment, he couldn't have really imagined being allowed to want. Being invited to possess Viktor.
"There isn't a single part of you that I don't find beautiful." He brushes their lips together in a softer kiss now, smiling. "Does that mean I can claim all of you?"
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"...yes. Yes if you want all of me... Well, I'm already yours anyway. Take all that you want. Just please don't stop touching me."
Viktor moved K's palm underneath his hand. Now the glow that was showing purple light through the cracks and crevices of his entire body was no longer going out as K's fingers moved on but was growing steadily brighter. What had once been concentrated between his legs now felt like it was everywhere that K's skin contacted the metal of his body. Viktor may not have genitalia of any form or fashion but with K, and likely only with K, that effect of having two mirrors pointed at each other magnified the feeling of touch until it felt like his entire body was alive with sensation, like it was coming from everywhere all at once. He leaned forward again to capture K's lips in a far more heated, needy kiss and Viktor couldn't help a little sound in the back of his throat.
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Which he obliges through increasingly hungry, demanding kisses and by letting Viktor guide one of his hands where he wants to, and with his other hand he strokes Viktor's back, down to his ass, across his hip and finally to experimentally cup between his legs. A lack of genitalia doesn't necessarily mean a lack of sensation, he thinks, particularly with how Viktor is responding to his touch everywhere else. And the glowing. It's mirrored within K's own body not with light, but with a simmering heat and waves of pleasure that have his cock throbbing almost painfully where it's pressed between their bodies.
Separate from their Familiar bond is the more technological connection that has remained open in a sort of standby mode since they interfaced. K utilises it now to share several deeply treasured moments from his memories of Viktor, providing a window into how K sees him and a reminder of who he still is.
My Vitya. Beautiful. You have always been deserving of my love.
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Klimt.
Viktor's body was already arched against K so that he could bring one hand over his chest but still be able to press against K's belly and thighs. If you put a gun to his head he still would not be able to tell if the sensation he felt was coming from the touch over his chest or the gentle touch between his legs. Maybe both. Viktor took a single hard inhale and opened his eyes to look at K. Eyes that were now glowing to match the sustained glow from his body, so Viktor was looking right at K when he wailed and the glow brightened for just a moment, sending that same feeling of love that was so fragile to create but has proved to be stronger than steel when it's tested into the bond so strongly there was no room for anything else.
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Then as the mirrored, combined, recursive pleasure and feelings of love flooding their bond wash over him, his eyes slip closed and a heady moan resembling Viktor's name escapes him. As impossible as it may be, he thinks he can feel the release within his own body, from the rhythmic contractions of muscle to the way his cock feels as though it's pulsing against Viktor. It might also just be the remembered sensations of shared orgasms in the past, but in that moment the source doesn't really matter, only what they both feel. The love they share.
Afterward he wraps his arms around Viktor once more, his smile hidden against Viktor's neck. Even if they weren't in the shower there wouldn't be any cleanup needed, so there's no reason not to give into his urge to hold Viktor while enjoying the afterglow.
"If I were lucky enough to have several lifetimes with you," he says quietly, sounding a bit breathless, "I'd still want more."
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"... And - Ah - what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor?"
What if he was just the hex core wearing a Viktor mask? This was as close to human as he could change himself to be while the hex core was still able to keep him alive.
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"What if my emotions aren't even real, just programming?"
What if neither of them are actually 'themselves', just the result of something else's influence or control? It's something K has struggled with for years now, and he isn't sure he has a good answer yet. But he'd like to offer what reassurances he can to Viktor.
"You still feel like Viktor to me, where it counts. And that you're even able to consider that possibility is an indication of still being yourself, I think. What purpose could the hexcore pretending to love me possibly serve?"
None of this has felt like an act to him, but since Viktor seems to be genuinely concerned about the possibility...
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"If I ever start to not feel like Viktor then I want for you to tell Mel or Hawke. Don't wait, tell them right away."
Viktor's mind has always been steady, and logical, the one tool that he had that he was proud of. But what had very nearly come to pass scared him so badly because it was his logical mind that was making the decisions that it did. Viktor who had always been a staunch pacifist had been responsible for creating a mindless puppet army. Viktor who was a quiet and shy scientist created a hive mind and in so doing killed the differences in the people who were living in the commune. Viktor was afraid of what he could do and that anxiety was probably bleeding into the bond a little. With K he did feel safer, shivering as he cuddled closer and the heightened feeling of their metal and skin again making contact kept the glow still present but not brightening.
"I love you. I don't know if I've ever said it out loud, though. I love you and I'm so afraid that the magic will be able to hurt you through me."
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He tries to keep his growing distress and sadness out of their bond and offers feelings of reassurance as he strokes Viktor's damp hair. But he just feels so wholly inadequate now — Viktor doesn't seem to trust him to even be capable of handling things on his own — and again wishes he could help Viktor in any real or lasting way. That it wasn't always other people, such as Baphomet and Jayce and Mel, that are the only ones who can.
"And I love you," he replies softly.
If only it was enough.
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"I'm not going to let the magic hurt you. I know that you are capable of some elemental magic, so you should be able to make use of the astral plane with me."
It used to be Sky who would assist him but now she was gone which was a problem because she already knew how to work on that plane of existence. Viktor hoped to use the Android loophole that would help keep K safe from the void magic. But he wanted to go further than that. He honestly wasn't sure how he would pull that off but he had to try.
"We should get out of the shower. I would ask that the blue and red blanket that my robe was made from not be thrown out though."
Jayce had given him the blanket and it was very likely that he would never see Jayce again. The only reason that Viktor did not keep more keepsakes was just the simple fact that he had no frame of reference for keeping anything, much less something special to him.
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With a final kiss to Viktor's forehead K releases him as requested. Hoping to hide evidence of his brimming tears, he gives his face a hard scrub beneath the running water then shuts off the shower and steps out. He pulls on a bathrobe and offers another to Viktor before bending down to start gathering their dirty clothes from off the floor.Â
Might as well try to be useful and wash Viktor's robe for him. By hand, he thinks as he carefully examines the material, just to be safe. He knows it has sentimental value. He doesn't want to risk ruining it.
"I'll wash it for you," he says as though it should have been obvious that he'd never just throw it out. "And before I do, can I get you anything?"
After the wild rollercoaster of a reunion that they've had, with the highs of declarations of love and intimacy followed by the abrupt plummet into the current low K finds himself in, trying to keep his hands and mind occupied with more mundane tasks for a while might help.
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Notice that insistence on the correct word. Viktor did take the bathrobe but once he had put it on, K was already gathering the discarded pieces of clothing on the floor. Before he put the dirty blanket over one arm, one of Viktor's hands took one of his and the other hand was clinging to K's wrist.
"Can I... Can I stay with you? Even if you are just going to do laundry."
Much as he wants to find a solution to K being possibly threatened by void magic, he still feels desperately vulnerable. K might end up with a clingy Viktor shadow.
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"Yes. I'd like for you to feel at home here again... in your own time," he says, feeling the latter's an important addition. No pressure for Viktor to rush his recovery or do anything he may not feel ready for. And if his presence can bring comfort, he's hardly going to turn down having Viktor's company even when doing mundane chores.
K's own clothes are put into the washer, but Viktor's robe is taken to the kitchen sink to wash by hand with a gentle detergent. A chair is also set nearby in case Viktor wants to sit. It occurs to K that he could make a late dinner for them, but he isn't sure whether Viktor can eat now and he wouldn't want to eat alone. A question for later.
"Tell me about the astral plane," he suggests as he works soap into the fabric. "Would I be able to help you there?"
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Technically no place ever felt like home because Viktor had not really had one so he had nothing to compare the feeling with. But he felt better when he could be close to K, even if it was just for holding his hand. Viktor also sat down in the chair that K had put out.
"I don't know that I will do a very good job of explaining. What it is important to know is that the same energy that makes up the human soul also makes up magic."
Viktor looked down at his lap, fingers fiddling with the end of the bathrobe belt.
"My lab assistant was a young woman named Sky Young. She was the only person that the hex core absorbed. What happened to her is my fault too, since I was the one experimenting and she was only trying to help me not die. In the end, it cost her life."
He looked back up at K.
"I think that I am going to need to use my magic to bring you in and out of it. But I want to change how my magic works on other people. No more infecting them or making a hive mind. Until I find a way to keep from infecting anyone by accident, I'm not going to use my magic on an organic person."
Since K is a robotic person, Viktor feels safe with him. And if the Void magic could not affect him the way it did with humans, then so much the better.
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"I'm sorry about your assistant." It helps to explain a few things K has long wondered about. That poor woman. He hopes she's at peace now. "It does seem best to limit the usage of your abilities. Do you think I'm able to help you change your magic like that? I will, if it's at all possible. Is the hexcore the source of your magic?"
Because that could make things infinitely more complicated — but K's still willing to do anything he can to help Viktor. He wants to hope that in the process they can also figure out a way to keep Viktor alive without the hexcore. If he'd want that.
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"I honestly don't know. The fact that you are a machine person and not an organic person would mean that my magic would not be able to hurt you. Beyond that, as far as what you can or cannot do, your guess is as good as mine."
Now he felt a chaotic storm of emotions all the time. This is probably evident to K as Viktor is oscillating between anxiety, fear, and anger at himself. His other empathic bond appears from being Between which she went into as soon as Viktor kissed K in the shower. Adele reclaimed her perch on Viktor's shoulder but still cuddled up to his neck.
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"Sounds like it's an astral-date, then. We'll find out together."
Now he knows to refrain from trying to pet Adele with wet soapy hands, so he just continues washing the robe when she reappears. He'll make it up to her with fish in a bit.
"Your magic might be able to affect me in other ways," he says thoughtfully.
Since we're able to do this now.
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"What do you mean affect you in other ways?"
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"Healing, for one example. Healing magic that works on humans doesn't work on me." He rinses off one of his hands before lifting up his pendant that, yes, he still always wears.
"Mel's does because you found a way to convert it into something compatible with my system. Maybe your magic won't require that extra step. But I also understand if you would rather not experiment."
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"No. No experimenting with the hex core."
He had a reflexive feeling of fear to go with the statement. Viktor had a lot of self-loathing for most of his life but now it had become a sort of body horror in place of it. In realizing just how much damage the hex core was able to do when it was combined with his body and mind, Viktor had developed a deep fear around what had happened to him.
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Without looking up from the sink, K simply replies, "Okay."
Like he'd said, he understands.
"I'm going to prepare some fish for Adele. Do you want something to eat too?"
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"I actually don't need to eat now. Sometimes, I will just to be able to taste something. But I don't have that kind of bodily need anymore."
He also had never been much of a fan of fish.
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"Okay." With the same acceptance as before. "Let me know if you ever do want something?"
He takes the now clean robe and hangs it up to dry, then returns to the kitchen and pulls the fish out of the fridge and starts preparing it for Adele. He still doesn't care to eat alone, particularly when he has no need to, so he'll also forgo making himself any food.
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There is an awful lot about the human experience that Viktor has never tried in the first place and now has become a moot point. But moot point or not eating a meal with someone else fed a lot more than just the stomach. Once Adele was gone, Viktor tried to finger-comb his damp hair with mixed success.
"I am sorry if that is disappointing. I know that you learned to cook specifically for other people."
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"I'll miss being able to do that for you," he admits. "And sharing meals with you. So maybe you'll still indulge this sentimental fool occasionally. The same with sleeping, if you feel like it."
Fish preparation mainly involves descaling, deboning, and slicing it into bite-sized strips. He knows none of it's necessary, but it's the equivalent of giving her a treat; just the soft, tasty meat of the fish. He arranges the strips on a plate and serves it to Adele, then washes his hands.
"Does it bother you?" he asks as he looks back to Viktor. "Not needing to do those things anymore."
Seeing what Viktor is doing gives him an idea. He makes another brief trip to the bathroom and reappears with a comb and brush. Gathering some of Viktor's hair in a hand, he starts gently detangling it with the comb.
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"... Sometimes, I think it will bother me. If only because it's more evidence that I'm no longer human."
He was already isolated from able-bodied people, then isolated even more as the by-product of having a gifted mind. That was how the hex core was able to systematically remove all of the emotions that Viktor felt, the ones that he already felt had little to nothing to do with those emotions ever being happy ones. Viktor looked down at his hand resting against his knee. There was some anxiety mixed with regret.
"I don't know what I am now."
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"The majority of your lived experience has been as a human. And that's shaped who and what you are. No matter what's been done to your body, nothing can change that."
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"... Do you still think of me as human?"
Viktor still felt like a raw nerve in that everything was affecting him, but he never knew when that storm of chaotic emotion would make him feel like he should be laughing or feel like he should be crying. Sometimes both at the same time. So right now, it's K who is the only solid thing left in the storm, and Viktor intends to cling to K as much as he possibly can.
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"Yes. To me, you're still the person I've been fortunate enough to know for years. You're still the man I fell in love with. You once told me we're both more than the sum of what our bodies allow us to do. Even if you feel like you can't believe that right now, it hasn't stopped being true."
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"Right now, it seems like feelings for you are the only solid feelings that I'm capable of. It's like I can feel everything all the time. I think that I spent so long losing them that I've forgotten how to compartmentalize them the way that I used to."
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"It's nice to feel needed," he admits. Especially when he's felt so disposable and replaceable his entire life. Even in his prior relationships he struggled with feeling superfluous. A part-time partner among many, never good enough for full commitment. And maybe he still isn't, but the fact Viktor chooses to share a Familiar bond with only him has to mean something. It's significant to K.
"And that's something you can relearn. It's difficult and overwhelming right now, but I don't think it'll always be like this. You need time to acclimate to... being yourself again. And I'll do anything I can to help. Just tell me what you need."
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"This is the first time that I've not felt overwhelmed. By the arcane. From emotion. From still being alive. "
Viktor's hands were clinging to the back of K's bathrobe. He might have said that all that he needed was K, but Viktor was aware of how incredibly unfair that would be to K to use him as an emotional crutch. He was right in saying that it would be possible for Viktor to re-learn what emotions went with what reaction. But that would take a lot of time and work. So for the moment, Victor was considering this a temporary reprieve.
"All that I want is you."
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"You have me," he says in a soft voice. "And if you ever feel that you need something I can provide, please tell me. Let's make the most of you still being alive, hmm? There's still so much to experience together. When you start getting lost in your work and studies and projects again, don't forget that you can have a life outside of that. And that there's someone who'd like to experience it with you."
While it might arguably be a good sign once Viktor falls back into his workaholism, perhaps this time around he can strike a better balance. Who knows how much longer they'll have together. Work will always be there, but people won't be. K knows that all too painfully well.
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"I just... I just need to be close to you."
The chaotic storm of emotion was still there, but he was also clinging on to K, both physically and emotionally because K was helping to soothe Viktor. Being in physical contact with his bonded Familiar filtered out the emotion to only be what was directed at K. In this instance, it was the warmth of sincere gratitude, and though Viktor felt he was damaged, possibly beyond repair, that same bruised love was extended through the bond along with the warm appreciation.
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"Then stay with me." In Folkmore. In their apartment. In his arms. In every sense. "You feel like home for me, too," he says as he leans his head against Viktor's. "I want to be wherever you are. I would have gone with you, if I could have."
His anxious concern for Viktor has remained steady in their bond since his return. But as some of K's own worries and uncertainties are soothed by their contact and by Viktor's words, that sense of concern has gradually calmed to a point where it more seamlessly blends with the mutual and intermingling feelings of love throughout their bond.
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"I don't think you would like it very much if I carried you around on my shoulder, and that's the only way we would never be separated."
Which is only half a joke. After the changes that have happened to Viktor's body, he could probably deadlift a semi-truck.
"...but I've still missed this feeling."
Be it a year or a week, Viktor could still feel that there was something that he had but was now missing. But with the hex core influencing his thoughts, something as vital as emotional regulation would have been something that the hex core tried to remove from his mind, or at the very least tried to make it very difficult to remember.
"I am sorry that you can't mark my skin anymore. I know that you liked the idea of getting to do that."
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"I liked imagining you were only mine," he admits. "Is that bad? Just a silly fantasy, anyway." And maybe not a very healthy one, even if it couldn't actually hurt anyone other than himself — there were certainly never any expectations involved. It's hardly the first time he's ever yearned for something impossible; not dying in his home universe whenever the Fox returns him to it is another prime example.
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"I don't understand what you mean by "only yours"? A familiar bond is a lifelong bond that I don't have with anybody else."
Viktor isn't really sure that he would want a bond with anybody else anyway. He had briefly entertained the notion when it was getting harder and harder to try to keep his feelings about K to himself. And surely not all bonds would be as intense as this one was because there wasn't actual care and laughter mixed up with them, right? But after thinking about it, it would be an awfully intimate one and Viktor wasn't sure that would be such a good idea. Now, it certainly wouldn't be. The possibility of the Void magic being able to hurt someone else so intimately made Viktor feel cold.
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He thought it had been clear from context how he'd meant it, and he feels guilty needing to clarify it even though it had only ever been a harmless fantasy. Monogamy feels taboo for an android like him to want; he's come to understand it's another privilege that only real people are allowed. Even in his home universe his AI companion had wanted to involve a third person in their relationship, while he'd wanted a committed partnership... It occurs to him that even having a bond with only him may not be enough, due to his artificial nature and not being as good as a real person would be. And Viktor deserves to have all of his needs met, be they romantic, sexual, or what a Familiar bond is able to provide him with, even if it requires multiple other people.
"Do you feel you need more Familiar bonds?" he wonders.
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"No, I don't. I entertained the notion once when it was becoming extremely difficult to keep you from knowing how I felt. I hoped to find a way to take the strain off of your soul that mine would be putting on it, but I thought better of it back then, and it would definitely not be a good idea now. I don't want to be bound to anybody else anyway. Just you. I would think that a lifelong commitment would count as something a little bit more than only a short-term romantic partner."
Viktor did not actually think of the word marriage because to him that was something that only people in Piltover did, and that was often an alliance between wealthy and powerful families. But that level of commitment was accurate to how he felt.
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"I haven't ever felt strained by our bond, to be clear. But I'm not sure I understand the last part. Do you mean that without our bond, you would only consider me a short-term romantic partner? I don't consider our bond or our romantic relationship to be short-term... or at least I hope I can have them longer. For as long as you'll let me. For as long as you want me."
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"No, just the opposite. Without our bond, I would consider you a committed lifelong partnership. Although without our bond, it would be more difficult for you to know what I am feeling, I think. You asked me to live with you. You haven't asked me to leave, and I don't want to leave on my own."
Living with each other is a bit more meaningful in a place like Zaun. Mostly because you were showing a lot of trust in a person to let them know where you would eat and sleep, Often sleeping around them.
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Sharing a bond hadn't been suggested lightly or rashly. K had given the decision the consideration warranted by a connection that could very well be lifelong, if both partners wished it to be. And he still feels it was the right choice. Though with or without their bond, he wants to be with Viktor. For as long as Viktor will have him.
This also raises several questions that he's never found clear answers to. Such as whether the experiences, memories, and bonds they create here in Folkmore can persist outside of it — for some residents who have left and returned, they claimed to retain no memory of Folkmore while outside of it, while others did. Experiences have always varied depending on the individual, but why? And what's the purpose of achieving their 'full potential' here if they might not even remember doing so afterward? (He's long suspected something similar to Viktor's conclusions, that they're brought here to be Lore batteries for Thirteen and help keep this world in existence.) More importantly:
"When you were in your home universe, did you still feel our bond?"
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"I thought it would be a lifelong bond from the start. That was part of why I wanted it. Maybe it's a bit selfish to create a Familiar bond so I would never have to be alone again."
Selfish and dangerous for someone like Viktor, who was so thoroughly corrupted by Void magic. But K said that he understood the risks and accepted them. Though Viktor's neck would move and shift as though it were made of muscle and sinew it felt just like cold metal to the touch. He opened his eyes again, and though it did not show on his face, he couldn't help feeling a spike of shame.
"I couldn't feel my own conscience or realize what I was doing to the people in the commune. The bond is meant to be emotional. It would have been purposely muffled or removed altogether by the hex core, so I can not answer your question."
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"I don't want to be alone again either." K brushes their lips together in a gentle kiss, trying to ease that feeling of shame. "I'm hoping our bond is lifelong, no matter where we are," he says, explaining his reason for asking. "Do you know whether you retained your memories of this world?"
Though he's hoping for some evidence that what they share here was able to continue existing even when Viktor was ripped back to his universe of origin, it won't surprise him if the hexcore had robbed Viktor of that as well. If it's at all possible to separate Viktor from the hexcore without killing him... it feels imperative that they find a way.
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"I don't know if my memories were affected. But they must have been to some degree for me to not realize the effects of what I was doing."
At the very end, both Viktor and Jayce had been willing to die to remove the effects of the hex core on the rest of the world, so it may very well have been what killed Viktor to be without. More likely was that cutting off the hex core from being powered by the anomaly under the hex gates diminished its effects on Viktor's mind but he quite literally can't continue living without being fused with it. The hard part then becomes, knowing which part was Victor's and which part was the hex core's magic. Despite not having much in the way of facial expressions, Viktor was still very needy right now and reaching for the comfort of being as close to K as possible, both physically and emotionally.
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It's far from the first existential crisis he's faced, and luckily he has the experience necessary to compartmentalise it in order to focus on the present. Focus on what Viktor needs from him. Because that, at least, he can do something about. His hand not stroking Viktor's neck slips around his narrow waist again, and he pulls Viktor in tighter against him.
He's heard the rumblings about multiversal travel from some residents. And he's aware of Viktor's own prior interest in the subject, and that's partly what prompts his question.
"Do you want to stay in this world?" The 'with me' is unspoken, but the sentiment can nonetheless be felt through their bond. "Do you think it may be possible to stay together even outside of it?"
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"I just want to stay wherever you are."
Be it in the dimension that Folkmore was in or another one, Viktor cared less about that than needing to stay close to K. But it was possible to travel between dimensions, and it had been proven already to Viktor that he could do it. Well, he could do it eventually. The hard part was learning how he would do that as an old man. The other hard part was finding out how he was supposed to transport another person because Viktor did not want to leave K behind.
"If that means that I stay here in this Nexus world, then I want to do that. But maybe we can find a way to stay together and travel through the Multiverse too."
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K also has experience with travelling between multiple dimensions and even dream realms, though perhaps not quite in the same way that Viktor eventually would. But just as he'd devoted himself to learning quantum physics in order to help a fellow advanced AI with her maintenance, he's sure intentional multiversal travel is only a matter of learning the specifics. With enough time and patience, nothing is out of reach.
Time... that's always been the problem, hasn't it? There's never enough. At any moment Thirteen could fling them back to where they came from, and there's no guarantee they'll be brought back to Folkmore. And for K, it would be as good as a death sentence. Unless maybe together they can change his fate and continue having a life together.
"We've both done it before, so at least we know it's possible on an individual basis. We need to figure out how to stay together." Whether they remain in this world or travel. "I'd like showing you where I'm from, if it didn't involve so much risk... Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go with me?"
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The fact that K is an android was the only reason that Viktor actually got close like this. Ever since his body was changed into a mix of metal and magic there weren't many people that Viktor would let close enough to touch him. He sighed right now, and though he did open his eyes he continued looking at the ground instead of looking up at K.
"...I don't need to sleep very much anymore. But it probably would be easier to hold on to you if we curl up together in the bed."
And Viktor did mean just that. He wasn't kidding about hugging K being the first time that he did not feel overwhelmed since he'd been hit in the face by Ekko's z-drive.
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"Agreed on all counts. And let's go to bed then."
Cleaning up after Adele's meal can wait until later. He takes Viktor by the hand and leads him to the bedroom, where he decides to get dressed for bed in flannel sleep pants and a shirt. Even if they won't be sleeping, there's no reason why they shouldn't be comfortable. Turning to look at Viktor, he asks, "Would you like some clothes?"
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After all, he didn't really have anything to cover anymore. He also didn't particularly feel cold but it probably wouldn't feel very nice for K to cuddle with cold metal.
"Yes, I think that I will wear clothes right now."
Viktor changed into a soft oversized shirt and flannel pajama pants. It was passing strange to see himself in proper clothes again, but he crawled into bed first curling up against the pillows. Then when K came close enough Viktor was pawing at him until he was able to wrap his arm over K's waist and lay his head against K's shoulder. Once they were settled Viktor let out a sigh of relief.
"I know that it's probably not as nice to cuddle with metal but thank you for this."
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"I could say the same. I'm only warm to the touch because I'm consciously using my magic to heat my synthetic skin." Otherwise he would be quite ice-cold to the touch, as he normally is by default. "And I only have skin because humans preferred me this way."
And it shouldn't be difficult to guess why. Human preferences and their comfort were always paramount when it came to androids like him. While he's talking, one of his hands finds its way beneath the hem of Viktor's shirt and above the waistband of his pants, where he begins lightly tracing his fingers along Viktor's new skin. Through their bond, there's nothing but feelings of love and acceptance for good measure. He wants Viktor no matter how he looks or feels; Viktor's perceived flaws only exist within his own mind.
"I'm grateful to have you in any form," K says in a softer tone before falling quiet for a moment, in thought. Then: "How would you prefer to look?"
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"Really? So you were consciously making your skin warm to the touch for my sake?"
That makes Viktor think a little bit in silence, then;
"What other parts of yourself do you change to try to be more like a human?"
You could probably say that the only thing that is still coming from Viktor's side of the bond is the same bruised love that has been there from the moment he showed K what had happened with his magic. It might be smothering if K was not returning the feeling, although certainly with less emotional damage than Viktor was radiating. K's comment about being grateful to have Viktor in any form was not replied to but it's something that helped his heart feel a little bit warmer. Well. If he had a heart anyway. The sneaky hand that was coming into direct contact with the metal of his body did have purple light following the fingers.
"I don't know if I would want to look anyway in particular. I would like to still look human I think."
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"But I think it's more pleasant for you if I'm warm when you touch me," he explains, "and that's something I'd like to encourage more of. I chose to sleep when you used to for similar reasons."
He hadn't wanted Viktor to feel that helping him get restful sleep was in any way an inconvenience — because it wasn't — and K remaining awake while Viktor slept would have undoubtedly given him that impression. These have always been accommodations made of K's own accord.
"With all the magic here, there should be something to help you look the way you'd prefer to. I know glamours make it possible to achieve any kind of look, at least superficially." Speaking of 'looks'. He's smiling as he adds, "And I'd like seeing you in the clothes I picked out for you. I'd also like seeing you out of them."
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"No not glamour. That would just be a lie to cover up the truth. I meant to say that if this had never happened to me, I would still like to look human."
With K lying on his back with Viktor cuddled up to his side, K's fingers had found their way beneath the clothes on Viktor's back. It felt like K's touch had been magnified so those fingers were being very distracting at the moment.
"This would be the first time that I've actually tried wearing clothes for months. And to be honest I wanted letting me hold you to be as least uncomfortable for you as possible since I knew that cuddling with cold metal would probably be difficult."
Viktor has always had his own issues with the physical body but now it was a problem of practicality. He had thought that K would be warm to the touch and thus put off by cold metal. He certainly didn't seem to be though. In fact, he was trying to be flirtatious, but Viktor was just hurting too much to flirt back. Instead, he nuzzled into the crook of K's neck where it met his shoulder. His face alone had any level of body heat to it even though it was minimal.
"It still feels like your fingers are touching my soul directly. Like you are touching a part of me that no one else has. I want to know how to touch you like that too. Tell me what you like?"
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"I appreciate the consideration, but I don't think you need to worry so much about my comfort," he replies. "Do what makes you most comfortable. Wear clothes if you want to, or don't. Either's okay. And remember that I'm not human." Things humans would find uncomfortable might not even affect him. It's meant to be reassuring, even if the state of Viktor's own humanity is a thorny topic.
"You can touch my soul without even touching me," he says with a small smile as he continues running his fingers along Viktor's changed skin. There's no particular intent behind his touch; simply touching for its own sake, without expectations. Hopefully it can do Viktor some good and help him acclimate to physical interaction.
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"It is not just about consideration. I want to know everything about you. You know how a human body would like to be touched. But my body is not like a human anymore."
For Example; Viktor's spine had golden rivets set in the same places that there would be vertebrae on a human body. Except for the area just below where his shoulder blades would be, he now had a permanent corset limned in gold. He had always been on the slender side but now instead of his waist tapering into his hips, his abdomen was smooth below the bellybutton. The joints for his hip bones however had a sort of bizarre ridge to them with the hinge for the joint itself separate from those outer ridges.
Where once he had a constellation of moles on his naked alabaster skin, he now had bits of gold running into long but uniform lines that were asymmetric on each side of his legs and arms. Even his touch would be a little bit different in that it was lit with magic that was coming into contact with whatever it was that he was touching. He hadn't touched anything that would also be able to feel that magic but it would feel like a very low-level tingle.
"You can't mark me with your teeth anymore but I might still be able to mark you. Would you like something like that?"
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The uncertainty doesn't stem from disinterest so much as his mind being elsewhere, still perpetually circling back to those chilling words: what if I am not that man anymore? What if I am not Viktor? K's worried about him, not about acting out fantasies that he suspects have more to do with unmet emotional needs than physical desire, anyway.
"But you also don't need to worry about those silly fantasies. Just having you here is enough."
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"Would I want to mark you as my own, you mean?"
There was a little rill of excitement in the bond. But as with every emotion that did not have to do with K personally, it was short-lived.
"Only if you want me to. I will admit that it would be nice though."
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"I don't bruise easily, you might have to get creative." He assumes that would be preferable to outright injuring him in order to leave a mark, and since Viktor's made it clear he won't use his magic on him, K won't suggest it. It also has him considering ways he could still mark Viktor without actually hurting him (and K allows himself a moment or two of missing Viktor's prior body), and he recalls, "I did give you a ring, before..."
Before Viktor vanished back to his home universe. With how long it's been for him, K figures a reminder about the gift wouldn't go amiss. He's been thinking on the other things Viktor said, too.
"How would you like to be touched now?" he wonders. Does Viktor even know, himself? K thought their earlier exploration had gone very well when it was happening, as well as what they're currently doing, but it couldn't to ask while they both have clearer heads.
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"I did like that ring. It might be a good idea if you made a second one for you to wear too. That would neatly solve the problem of leaving a mark on each other's skin."
Despite having a metal body Viktor did still have a sense of touch. It was muted though and there was a sensory deprivation between what touched him in the outside world and what he felt.
"But I don't know how I would like to be touched now. There aren't very many people that I would want to touch or be touched by in the first place."
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"I'd like that." As though it wasn't already obvious. "And we can figure it out together. I think touching you has gone well so far?" To emphasise his question, his fingers dip just below the waistband of Viktor's pants to trace over his altered hip.
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The idea behind Polyamory is that everyone in the group cares about each other which is why it didn't bother Viktor that Jayce loved so many people. Viktor only cared that there be a place in Jayce's heart for Viktor, and it didn't matter to him who else was there too. But K has learned that it is neither easy nor fast to get to a point where Viktor does care about you, and even more difficult to get to the point where Viktor does love someone, whether they love other people too or it's just one person. To put it bluntly, without Jayce the possibility of Polyamory was most likely off the table.
But for some reason, the idea of matching rings made K very happy. Viktor didn't quite understand why that would be the case but it was nice to please K? This was also about the same time that K's sneaky fingers brushed gently over Viktor's altered hip. Now that he certainly felt and couldn't help an indrawn breath and a shiver.
"You keep finding new ways to touch me. It really doesn't seem fair that you haven't taught me how you like to be touched too."
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His curious exploration has already paid off judging by Viktor's reaction, and that also incites a little thrill of excitement in K that can be felt through their bond. He'd been entirely serious when he said that what he likes is the way Viktor touches him... and now he has to think on his reply, because he isn't sure he can offer a better answer than that.
"I guess I'm not sure how I like to be touched, either. It hasn't come up before. Not before you asked." Or at least no one to his knowledge has expressed interest in learning his specific preferences the way Viktor has. Maybe people incorrectly assume human biology or physiology can apply to him and that there's no reason to ask, or maybe they haven't wanted to overstep perceived boundaries, or in one case he doesn't want to think too hard about, maybe they hadn't minded one-sided intimacy. There could be any number of reasons.
"But maybe we could figure that out together, too."
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"Well, the only thing that I have to go off of is what would feel nice for a human. You will have to show me a different way for you."
Having said that, Viktor reached out to take one of K's hands and pull it back to his chest by the wrist. Once K's hand was resting against his chest, Viktor let go of his wrist and pushed his hand underneath so that K's hand was sandwiching Viktor's between his hand and his chest.
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"I'll enjoy learning with you." He squeezes Viktor's hand beneath his and there's a smile in his voice. "Thank you for caring this much." Reconnecting like this has been good, he thinks, and he hopes that no matter what the coming weeks may bring, they can keep holding onto each other.
"Along with matching rings, there's also things like henna," he suggests, still thinking about ways they could mark each other since it's something they both seem to like. "Ink used to draw on skin. For yours, a metallic ink would look good..." And he certainly isn't opposed to receiving love bites, as Viktor suggested, regardless of whether they leave lasting marks.
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The soft kind of warmth that would usually be in addition to another stronger kind of emotion. But Viktor wasn't kidding about feeling overwhelmed. The warm feeling of affection was so strong, it was bordering on adoration. Viktor himself may have a fear of being still merged with the hex core, but since it cannot fake human emotion, this would be a direct denial of it still having influence over Viktor's mind. Viktor's metal thumb is feathered back and forth underneath K's hand right now.
"For caring this much? Hasn't anyone asked to learn how you like to be touched before? And as I understand it, henna is a temporary mark at best, so I am not sure that it would be what we're looking for in this instance."
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The shared affection radiating through their bond makes it easier not to dwell on past hurts. That Viktor is able to feel this way about him to begin with is very heartening, for a variety of reasons. The most significant one being that this feels like further proof that Viktor's mind is his own.
"Bruises are also only temporary. You want something permanent?" he asks, surprise plain in his voice. Matching rings are a more suitable choice in that case. This particular subject is likely to lead to pleasant daydreams in the future as well... at least until he's right back to worrying about Viktor.
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If he was the first to ever ask about it, K may not have thought of this before. It certainly would explain a few things, including why K always seemed to focus on touching Viktor whenever they had been intimate. Right now Viktor leaned in and kissed K gently but with an edge of passion. Lifting his hand while keeping K's over it, he first laid it against K's neck.
"Before, when my body was different, you talked about marking my neck or my hip, so let's start there."
K's body was humanoid enough that maybe things like lightly stroking the skin of his back might also feel nice. Or just cupping his cheek. Viktor very much doubted that K was ticklish but he planned to touch him lightly all over and see if a particular area seemed to feel better than another.
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Even on a good day focussing on his own pleasure wouldn't be easy for him, with his primary concern being that his limitations will disappoint Viktor and make him feel as though his efforts are wasted on K; he was intended to facilitate others' pleasure, not experience it himself... Everything combined still presents a mental hurdle for him.
"You don't have to," he says softly. "Today has been..." It's difficult to even put it into words. He sighs in lieu of finishing the sentence. "And the last week. The last year, for you. You're allowed to rest. Just let me hold you for a while."
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"For a little while I want to stop thinking about everything that's happened in this past year. I want to focus on something else. Something nice."
Now when Viktor looked back at K there was a level of pleading in his iridescent eyes.
"I know that I don't have to. I want to. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but I would want to explore you just to find out what feels nice. It could be something as simple as just rubbing your back, or running fingers through your hair. It doesn't matter, I just want to feel closer to you."
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"I've only experienced either as a cat," he says with a slight smile. And he always enjoys it, so there's no reason to think he won't also enjoy it in his android form. He keeps his clothes on for the time being and adjusts his position so he's lying more on his side, giving Viktor better access to do as he wants.
"Can I do anything for you?"
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"I just need to keep touching you. But...but it would be nice if you wanted to touch me too?"
He stayed gentle as he moved the one hand up to run his fingers through K's hair, slowly from the crown of his head down to the nape of his neck. Viktor had to loop his arm under K's to be able to touch his back as well. He was a little slower with that since there was a longer sweep of his hand from just under his shoulders to the small of his back.
"I've only got what would feel nice to a human as a frame of reference. What are your suggestions for what would feel nice to you?"
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"This feels good," he murmurs as he then trails his fingertips along the curve of Viktor's cheek.
There's the unique sensation of expanding awareness as their minds connect on a technological level again, initiated by K. Not with the intention of transferring any data this time, but — just to feel the connection, and take comfort in it. A level of connection not possible among humans.
This, too.
Even if it can't fully distract him from the sense of gnawing dread, it does help take the edge off it. At least Viktor is safe in his arms for the time being.
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I've never communicated this way before. But if it feels nice for you, then I want to learn.
Letting his hand drift aimlessly, he circled underneath K's shoulder blade onto his bare shoulder. Since he has been altered, he has only touched other people with the tips of his fingers. So when his palm makes contact with K's bare skin, he can feel the current of energy running down K's arm. There is an echo of his own palm touching K's arm on his arm as he does it. Slowly and carefully, his palm follows that feeling of energy until it stops at the edge of K's tank top.
"Could you take your shirt off, please?"
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Just as before, the more skin to skin contact they share, the stronger the recursive sensations become; the full press of Viktor's palm is like a rivulet of feeling becoming a river. It draws a soft, encouraging sound from K. At the request, he disentangles himself enough so he can sit up and tug off his shirt, then he's gently touching Viktor's face again as he leans down to kiss him.
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I can feel your energy. I don't know if it's your inner power system or just the way that your magic spreads throughout your entire body.
It felt like different branching paths coalesced closer to the center of K's chest. From collarbone to clavicles, Viktor's touch remained light but still in contact with K's skin. What had been a ghostly echo was now something that felt so real Viktor would have sworn that the identical touch was slowly tracing across him too. But just the touch of a hand did would not seem to feel as if warm tendrils of energy were connecting the closer that Viktor was getting to the center of K's chest.
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The lingering warmth left in the wake of Viktor's touch makes K feel as though, if his body were capable of it, it would be glowing in those places the same as Viktor's could now. The warmth slowly spreads of its own accord as well, and perhaps it is his own innate magic reacting to Viktor's, attracted like a magnetic force toward each other. As far as he knows, his magic stems from his altered blood and so in a practical sense, his magic and physiology could very well be one and the same, intrinsically intertwined.
He's still cupping Viktor's face with one of his hands, stroking his cheek with his thumb. It's helping to anchor K. As is so often the case with Viktor, it would be only too easy to lose himself in the shared sensations. But right now, he prefers to remain more present in the moment, taking in everything that's happening.
I think it's reacting to your magic. You can feel it too?
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Since they didn't have to talk with their mouths and neither one needed to breathe, they could continue to kiss with no interruption. Viktor shifted a little bit so the palm of his other hand could also touch K's bare chest. Magnets being attracted to each other made sense because Viktor had the urge to be as close to K as he could, which is why he wrapped one of his legs over K's thigh. His free hand moved to be in the center of K's chest and the echoed feeling was so strong that Viktor made a little half-swallowed sound into the kiss.
With one hand directly above the other, it was like something closed the circuit and just the smallest rill of magic glittered between Viktor's hands and from their up his arms and into his body. Like a stone thrown into a pond, ripples of light emanated from his shoulders down to the rest of his body.
Whatever I just did, please don't stop touching me.
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You're glowing.
He hasn't actually looked down at Viktor's body to know this — he can feel it. And he can feel it even more strongly once he nudges Viktor's legs farther apart and presses their bodies closer together, the light material of his flannel sleep pants unable to conceal the effect everything is having on him. Particularly when he begins moving his hips against Viktor's in a languid concession to pleasure. Still cradling Viktor's face with one hand, he runs the other along as much of Viktor's body as he can reach, the request to keep touching him releasing K from any hesitation he may have felt. Maybe this is what they both need right now.
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More. I want to feel more of you.
To that end, Viktor's legs curled around K's waist, pulling him closer. Even though that practically put K on top of him, Viktor didn't care. Both of his hands slipped around either side, and once they aligned again with one over the other on K's spine, that same little thrill of magic glittered between them.
text; after Viktor's canon update!
So he messages the other man on his Relic not looking for any particular timetable for a response-- just that one comes. ]
You've been especially quiet.
Checking in to see if you're alright.
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Something...happened to me. The time difference of how long it's been here in Folkmore, and the fact that it's been a year for me outside of it is just one of the many discrepancies.
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You went home?
What happened?
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The magical artifact that I had been studying but had since I watched it kill someone I had decided that day to have nothing more to do with it. I made my lab partner promise me that he would destroy it.
He didn't.
In fact when I regained consciousness, what I thought would be that same day, he had explained that he had fused it with me in an effort to save my life. We had worked together since we met in school together but I was devastated by what he had done, so I broke all ties with him and walked out of our lab that day.
From what I have said about the undercity, or Zaun, I am sure that you can imagine the squalor and poverty there. With the new ability to use magic that I had my first impulse was to help as many people as I could. So I found a way to make clean water and clean soil so that there was enough food growing for everyone and I healed as many people as I could.
But what I didn't realize until later was that by healing people's bodies I was taking control of their minds. It wasn't until my chest was destroyed in a magic blast that I came to the conclusion that at the root of all our problems was human emotion. And all those people that I 'healed' became both a hive mind and one that I entirely had control of. So I made all of those people into my personal puppet army of automatons.
It wasn't until much later that I learned the truth of what was happening to me. I was systematically giving up more and more of my humanity because unknown to me at first, the magic that I was making use of wanted to sterilize the entire world of all life. And I was helping it do just that. When the real horror of what was happening connected with the humanity that I was reminded of in the end, I chose to die in order to use a kind of sympathetic magic to unmake the magical anomaly that was fueling the Hex core.
I did not expect to survive. Much less be transported inter-dimensionally.
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Viktor.
You were trying to do the right thing. I believe that.
People...things...entities take advantage of people who want to help others. I know you're going to hold yourself responsible and maybe to a fault--
But I'm glad you're back and not dead. I'm very sorry.
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I hold myself responsible because there is always a choice when using any magic. It would be easy to blame everything on the hex core but it is more complicated than that.
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Power corrupts, whether it's exterior or interior. Maybe a bit of both. But what you can't forget is your intention-- what you were trying to do before all of it got away from you.
[ It's... difficult to say or convey. He knows the other man's emotional wounds must be raw still, his guilt feeling never-ending. Some days he can still picture some of the faces of souls he judged who he wasn't so sure of. ]
If it's complicated it's going to take time to feel through.
Maybe it can be undone? Could Thirteen have been trying to show you something she was also trying to prevent?
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No. For all her ability to do whatever it is that she likes in her own pocket reality, she has no control over what happens in the rest of the multiverse and time travel into and out of it.
The only question I have now is how much the hex core is still affecting me and whether or not my being brought to a Nexus world at the intersection of many different universes is a good idea when I don't know if it's possible for anyone to kill me should that become necessary.
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I think you need to worry about one thing at a time. I know it sounds stupid, impossible even.
But before you ask more questions you need to mourn what you lost.
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[ This text conversation is making Viktor give it the side eye. ]
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[ His world isn't magical nor is there healing as a readily available power for most people outside of hospitals. Viktor's world seems to revolve around magic as a chaotic element. ]
You said the people you helped became a hive mind. I'm sure those were people you spent time with-- it doesn't sound like your humanity was just taken, it was exploited.
You have to mourn that.
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...my emotions have been overwhelming to me since I spent nearly a full year systematically losing them, but if I think too much about it, I feel so much regretful sadness. I knew every man, woman, and child by name.
[ Gods, there were children in his commune. ]
...and now... Now I don't know what to do to make sure I'm not going to hurt anybody.
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Arthur has heard of these occurrences before but never of someone coming back in a worse state. What could possibly be the purpose?
Is there one? ]
Are you worried the same thing will happen here as back home?
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I was already tricked into doing so once, who's to say it won't happen again?
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You have people here who want to help you too.
[ Not that he's trying to drag Viktor back into society after such experiencing not only such a drastic shift in time but also something terrible. Arthur feels for his friend even if he doesn't know how to demonstrate it just yet besides listening. ]
Anyway you know this place. It's rare that what you expect to happen actually does. Thirteen has her plans.
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I will still be dependent on other's moral compass. What I thought was just following a logical thought pattern turned out to be horrific. I could recognize the horror later but while I was making the decisions that led to that horror I couldn't see where I would have gone wrong.
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Most people don't possess that level of hindsight either. Just... keep your spirits up even if it doesn't feel like the right course of action. I think the people that know you would say the same-- you don't come across as someone who has the intent of harming people.
[ That...sits a little strange with him. Arthur wonders if he has any real authority saying something like this but he ultimately decides to send the message and hope his intent comes across rather than any though of him being a questionable source. ]
Take time for yourself. Do you need anything?
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Nothing that you would be able to do for me.